I'm not going to read it; but my guess is he didn't!:lol:

 

I think so. Honestly, plotlines started jumping all over the place after that to the point that it was quite literally incomprehensible. It dropped into random non-smutty femmeslash quite suddenly without another mention of Harry ever again; ended up Tracy/Girl!Malfoy somehow. Something to do with Crabbe and Goyle smelling bad and Malfoy borrowing Tracy's shampoo. I kid you not. I think if I'd had half a clue what the fuck was going on most of the time I'd be offended for the sake of the English language, but frankly confusion overwhelms any other response.

 

Girl!Malfoy works for me, somehow.
* picturing poor Felton in high heels and a miniskirt *
That would be a fun scene for the last movie.

 

*blinks*

Now that would have an interesting effect on the fangirl psyche. Would probably lead to a shitload of crossdressing!Malfoy/Harry pairings though, so it probably wouldn't be worth it.

 

Tale of Two Quidditch Players » by The Magpie Method reviews Lily isn't ur tipical girl she loves quidditch and curses too much. Switching schools all her life she is finally at Hogwarts where she meets the Maurders. Between Quidditch,pranks,and homework can Lily have time for love with a certain James Potter.Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,072 - Reviews: 13 - Updated: 3-30-08 - Published: 3-27-08

Well, "your" and "typical" are beyond this author's spelling capabilities, but at least he/she managed to spell "Hogwarts" and "quidditch" right!

Confessions of a Black » by MelissaLianne reviews Narcissa Black is in her final year at Hogwarts, when things begin to go dangerously wrong. Murder and betraylment being just two examples. Will her sister and friends swear alliegance to the dark lord? Read on...Fiction Rated: K - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 35 - Words: 44,726 - Reviews: 44 - Updated: 3-30-08 - Published: 2-16-08

"betraylment"? is that even a word? And "alliegance"... I'm trying to decide if they mean "allegiance" or "elegance".

Harry's Chosen One » by Ariaeris reviews Harry may be the Wizarding World's chosen hero, but who is the man that his heart chooses to love? 10 men, 4 drabbles each, 500 words of love, life, and loss. Slash, obviously.Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 9 - Words: 7,359 - Reviews: 24 - Updated: 3-30-08 - Published: 12-9-07

uke:uke:uke:

. Harry Potter and the Mysterious Llama » by LlamaLovingLuna reviews The Trio's sixth year. A llama appears out of nowhere in the Gryffindor common room. Nobody knows how it got in or why it's there. Will they find out? Will they keep the llama? Will they be able to prevent it from eating everything in reach?Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,697 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3-30-08 - Published: 3-27-08

A llama? That's worse than that damn horse!

 

Wait, you couldn't have just written it about one of the NINE Weasleys that we already have?

 

That's a tough fucking homework assignment.

 

Tonight's gleanings from the FFN update list:

Devastation by DakkyPop reviews Harry was abandond when he was abandond as a baby. His parents didn't want to deal with the trouble of his 'powers'. And it would be better for the child to die in the wilds rather than be killed by Voldemort, right?Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 636 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 4-1-08 - Published: 4-1-08

The Unwanted » by dariella reviews What if Harry had a twin he didn't know about? What if she knew about him? What if she was the real GWL, but no one knew about it, not even her, and their parents died when they were six years old? DMOC, mentioned abuse/rape, rating to be safe.Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,415 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 4-1-08 - Published: 3-25-08

From the Mouths of Babes » by Sirenic Griffin reviews Summer is traditionally described as a time for romance in the realm of fantasy however reality is far crueller as Hermione suffers at the hands of fashion-twit and Draco gets sunburnt, so to them Hogwarts is Heaven however that is soon going to change.Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,488 - Reviews: 10 - Updated: 4-1-08 - Published: 8-17-06

A New Day » by HP15 reviews A new story is about to unfold as Aly and Char's son Declan will make the scene at Hogwarts. The world is now free of Voldemort's tyranny. News friends and adventures are about to begin. Slightly AU.Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 32 - Words: 29,606 - Reviews: 43 - Updated: 4-1-08 - Published: 3-8-08

Whipped » by Angel Arielle reviews Hogwarts is holding a singing competition for 7th year students. Draco Malfoy is scheming but so is Hermione Granger!Fiction Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,254 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 4-1-08 - Published: 3-27-08

The Second Chance by ashchild666 Harry has lost all hope and the will to survive when he is sent back in time to find something that may save the world and may also save himself warnings- language, slash rape and abuse Powerful!slytherin!harry RW HG AD bashing! please review!Fiction Rated: T - English - General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,063 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 4-1-08 - Published: 4-1-08

 

Home Coming » by Third Person Omniscient reviews The sequel to Happy Christmas. The year is done, and Harry, Hermione, and Ron are returning to Grimmauld Place for the break. How will Harry reveal his new relationship? How will Lupin reveal his? Will anyone ever like Ginny? Probably not. Ah well. SLASH!

eh...slash...but the stab at Ginny is priceless!

In the background » by ELIZARTEMIS reviews Dark story of Harry's life with his parents still alive and him being the youngest of triplets.male Blaise

sigh...when giving Harry a twin isn't enough..

Break Me, Shake Me » by Conflicting Lies reviews Hate Me, Take me over. When the madness stops then you will be alone. You confuse me in a way that I've never known. M/M F/F pairings. Not really a songfic I just suck at summeries. Draco/Harry and Hermione/OC it is a bit angsty at first but it gets bette

huh? not a songfic but he uses song lyrics...ok...

Star Crossed » by Lady Bahiya reviews Space...the final frontier...In the year 4437 A.E. After Earth Prince Draco Abraxas Lucien Malfoy of the planet kingdom Slytherin is being forced to marry the enigmatic Prince of the neighboring planet kingdom Gryffindor. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE!

Gotta love wizards...in SPACE!

~Kitti

 

I was seriously considering boiling my screen after the posts by Bratling (I can always count on you, dear!) and LadyKitty (welcome to the board!)

but ... wow.
WIZARDS IN SPACE. What'll they think of next?



Edited to add:
Y'know, that might be a fun concept. Think about a Hogwarts that has been moved to a (large and self-supporting) habitat in the Belt. I can see the Twin's decendants starting the first Luna-based wizarding business. The Weasleys, guided by the muggle-raised, get in on the ground floor of the first few commercial colonies.
Actually, the more I think about it, the better it gets.

Another edit:
The author could arrange for Apparition to be limited by gravitational pull or interference by atmosphere or hazards on/near Earth's surface, so develop or create Long Distance apparition skills: fast transport in free-fall.

More edit:
It's lucky that this is in the "Worst Summaries" thread; otherwise the more senior DLP'ers would flame me...
Still, this is a logical progression of the Statute of Secrecy. If the Wizarding World is going for complete withdrawal into its hidden enclaves, then they need to develop some sort of dimensional pockets or else get completely offworld. The 'Belt is BIG. Big enough to hide any group for A Long Time.
This begs the question of whether magical creatures and flora could thrive (or survive) away from Earth, but it makes for a nice thought problem. I can see lots of complications. Plenty of stories for a HP 'verse framework set ... oh ... two centuries in the future.

Where should I go to look for something like this - that is Well-Written?

 

Only one good story I've ever seen with that premise, Nonjon's Firefly /Serenity crossover, and it only worked because it was a Firefly story that had Harry Potter in it.

 

Extreme Makeover: Hermione Edition (M) by Punkindoodle | Reviews - 19 | Words: 33374 | Completed: No

Cliche challenge fic! Hermione is tricked in to being a partcipant in a Muggle reality show where five men from her past must compete to win her heart. Who will she fall for and will they pick the money or her?
Chapters: 7 Published: 2008.02.21
Category: General Updated: 2008.04.02
Warnings: Adult Language, Sexual Situations Genres: Romance, Drama
Characters: Ron, Harry, Hermione, Draco, Ginny, Other, Oliver Wood, Blaise Zabini

http://www.hpfandom.net/eff/viewstory.php?sid=26093

Ummm... I didn't believe that anyone actually WATCHED those "shows." I had no idea that there was a "the money or the girl" option...




(By the way, I had this entry typed up in an open window for some six hours, waiting for someone to answer. Just to avoid double-posting.)


Edited to add the link. Thanks Doctor, and I apologise for forgetting it.

 

I demand the link, Banner.

Let me guess. It's Ron, right?

 

http://hp.adultfanfiction.net/story.php?no=600015333

Here's the link.

 

Forgotten Silence » by Bittersweet Alias reviews HPBZ Slash AU: Harry’s eyes enchant and he doesn’t know it. He seems innocent but he‘s not. He smells sweet and he is. He tastes sweet and it’s even better. Blaise wants him and now. Follows Harry through 7th year with a few major plot changes. MPREG!

This summery actually gave me an upset stomach.

Kinky Bear takes it by kinksbear reviews A Harry/Ginny pairing, warnings for tying up/smacking/sex - don't read if you don't like these. One-shot after the war. AU.

Kinky..

The Right Beginning » by Granger21 reviews Harry was suppose to have grown up with his true race. The elves. This is how it should have happenend. This story is NOT based on JRR Tolkien's elves nor anyone elses, these elves are mine! Chapter 11 and 12 are up, a bit short, but better than nothing.

Yeah...I bet these elves are gonna be soooo unique

~Kitti

 

Not as bad as I suspected. It's Draco/Hermione, and Harry isn't in the contest, since he's dating Ginny.

On another note, I swear I've seen a The Bachelor/Bachelorette fic floating around somewhere...

This should be called Extreme Extreme Makeover.

Edit: Well, Hermione has a brain underneath all that bushy hair; she takes Polyjuice instead of mutilating herself.

To further confirm I read this fic in part, why is Draco always described as sexy? Is it because- No, of course it is. Tom Felton.



Any girls wanna come all over his face?

 

I do believe I have the all-time winner of this thread:

 

Is there ... umm. Is there anything actually IN the story? Or is it another one of those "This is a penis" repeating lines?

 

You know you like that, don't deny it.

1. The Pensieve of Shame » by MatoakaWilde reviews
Jump into the Pensieve of Shame and discover the dirty laundry hidden in the our favorite and not so favorite character's closets! If only Rita Skeeter could get her hands on this! formally titled 'What are the Harry Potter Characters Ashamed of'
Fiction Rated: T - English - General/Drama - Chapters: 35 - Words: 10,809 - Reviews: 376 - Updated: 4-8-08 - Published: 1-1-08