1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Abandoned Like Some Song You Can't Unlearn by BJH - PG13

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by The-Hyphenated-One, Feb 17, 2007.

  1. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,672
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    * snarl *
    jamorg, you got me all excited, thinking there was some news.
     
  2. Boofers

    Boofers Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2007
    Messages:
    350
    Location:
    Michigan
    Fic has been updated.. Though the recent chapter was kinda short and predictable
     
  3. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    Yeah, I found it on ficwad and got all excited....and then I read it. Fucking cliff-hangers! I'll give the fic a 4.5/5 overall and a 3.5/5 for the new chapter.
     
  4. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,672
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    Cliffhanger.
    Cliffhanger.
    Cliffhanger.

    I'm just dreading another long wait before we discover what Ginny is doing.
     
  5. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2007
    Messages:
    1,509
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Aww, it would be awesome if Tom sucks the rest of Ginny's soul out. Harry's got to fail at something, why not this?
     
  6. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    1,166
    It's a foreshadow that harry is supposed to fulfill the same damn role... Yet again.

    $20 says that the GOF makes a re-appearance. The veil may or may not.

    /Pessimism
     
  7. BJH

    BJH First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2006
    Messages:
    32
    Well, you lose. The GoF played out two years before Harry makes this appearance, Cedric was used to resurrect Voldie. And the Veil has no role in my plot.

    You are right in one sense though, one underlying theme of the story is the relentlessness of fate, how sometimes regardless of our actions we are compelled to be who we are. Snape is an ass, Dumbledore is a manipulative bastard with good intentions (the most evil of villians) and Harry can't help his "saving people thing".

    BJH
     
  8. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Messages:
    678
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia, SSR
    High Score:
    2000
    That's a fair point. I said in another thread that cliche's aren't cliche's if they have an actual point, and the same holds true here. 'Repeating' things in canon is cool, so long as we don't end up reading the books over again except for a few things that Harry has (ta da!) already solved.

    This is one of the fics I'm keeping an eye on, and though as has been said, Narcissa showing her true age was a bit of a downer, but it worked and makes sense, and points for not making 'ZOMG perpetual deaging potion Black sisters'

    4/5
     
  9. darkendlight

    darkendlight First Year

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    24
  10. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    You are the best necro-poster ever.
     
  11. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2008
    Messages:
    1,865
    Location:
    The Playhouse
    Well done, sir.
     
  12. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    666
    Location:
    I am getting there
    This one is going to my favorites.
     
  13. Portus

    Portus Heir

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2008
    Messages:
    2,553
    Location:
    Music City
    The description of Harry and Narcissa in chapter 11 was hot; the figure-eights gave me a boner...:twisted:

    I despise "irregardless" - it's clearly a double-negative, but it is in the dictionary, so I can't say it's necessarily wrong to use.

    I agree that Harry seems inexorably drawn or "fated" to play a similar role in this universe to the one he came from. I suspect that in light of that, Dumbledore will be killed at some point, but there's no guarantee, since the Potters have lived an extra fifteen or so years as compared to the canon universe.

    I really liked the story for the first 6 or 8 chapters, and I still like it, though not as much. I have to think that Dumbledore - who is not an idiot, regardless of his bad decisions - would be more adamant about finding out the truth about Harry's past, especially when this new professor, who obviously never attended Hogwarts and didn't know these kids beforehand, knows things no one else does. I mean, how would a new professor know Luna was being bullied for so long, not to mention his knowledge of Luna's pearl necklace? [At this point, a real Dark!Harry would give Luna a replacement pearl necklace...]

    I didn't enjoy the preachy/soapbox!Harry, but overall, if that aspect can be toned down, and the action stepped up just a bit, I'll be more than happy. Not that chapters 14 and 15 didn't have action, but there were a few filler chapters before that, especially when going over light-and-dark magic.

    So yeah, I recommend this story, but I hope we get updates more frequently than every six months, since chapter 13 was posted in August of '07, 14 was posted in April '08, and 15 this month. That usually means an author is stuck trying to write themselves out of a corner they wrote themselves into, or is running out of ideas or motivation. I hope that isn't the case, because I think the writing is well above average in this story.
     
  14. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    Probably one of three fics that are updated at this speed that I still read. The new chapter, while not up to the standard of some of the previous ones, was a good addition. 4/5
     
  15. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    6,216
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Blocksberg, Germany
    Eh, somehow I always skipped this story. I first discovered it back when everything but H/G was unthinkable, and therefore passed it, and later never picked it up again.

    I did so now :)

    And, eh, it's not bad. I prefer Harry more restrained, but since Dumbledore can't/won't pick up on Harry knowing way too much, it's alright, I guess.

    Not so much of a fan of Unforgivables-were-developed-for-medical-purposes, and Harry philosophising about Dark Magic (although the second part of that, the ways to power etc., was fairly interesting, as it wasn't the usual 'There is no Dark Magic'-speech) ... but then, BJH has realised that himself and said there will be no more of that; so we’re good.

    And, of course, Harry/Narcissa is a very welcome addition. Goes a long way to keep my interest on the story, as it looks (or looked) a little bit like there was a lack of direction, the story was simply drifting, with no real goal -- Harry had exposed Pettigrew, freed Sirius, helped Luna, and then ... nothing.

    I hope BJH has or gets an idea what his aim with this story is, tightens the plot a bit, and then we'll see. As it is, because I like Harry/Narcissa, 4/5
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2008
  16. Innomine

    Innomine Alchemist ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    2,290
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New Zealand
    High Score:
    4,500
    Well, just coming into it, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love these types of fics. Sure, there are gaping plot holes all over, and it just doesn't seem realistic, but nevertheless, I do enjoy reading them.
     
  17. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2008
    Messages:
    6,193
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    I read it, couldn't really get into it.

    I feel like everything that's happened has been a vehicle to (a) write Harry/Narcissa smut and (b) wax philosophical about how the wizarding world and its key figures sucks. Nothing much is happening, really; the random Death Eater grabs are meh-worthy in terms of holding my attention.

    Dumbledore not being insanely suspicious of "Harris" is stupid. Unlike fake Moody, his actions have no past experiences to hedge against and rationalize.
    2/5 for being rather boring.
     
  18. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    666
    Location:
    I am getting there
    It is just a reason to write a Narcissa smut, but I am not complaining. As for boring that's probably because there a lot of more exciting, and hilarious fics out there than this one out there.

    I ran into Crippled Hero by bloodyangel666 and Naked Hero by akora, not sure if i got the names right, before I read Erasing History and didn't find Erasing History very entertaining, but thats because of the bias I built up from the previous two fics.

    Just a theory.
     
  19. BJH

    BJH First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2006
    Messages:
    32
    Hmm, so many things to comment on... I could do it the correct way and quote each post and reply but I won't. I'll just do it the simplest way.

    First, Parvati's use of the accepted but still technically incorrect "irregardless" was deliberate. She was striving to appear haughty and just as intellectual as her sister and like with so many people who do this it backfired.

    The Narcissa/Harry smut is not the reason for the story but it is one of the most fun parts. There will be a couple more of the intense scenes to come.

    Harry will be engaging in some creative DE removal and his Dark side will come to the fore.

    Dumbledore IS suspicious of Professor "Harris" but he also thinks that he is the prophesied one so he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. As a result he will do what Dumbledore always does, next to nothing except manipulate others into doing what he himself should have done in the first place.

    Did I write myself into a corner or run out of plot? Nope, the plot is fully laid out and right on track. Did I run out of motivation? More accurately I allowed myself to be distracted by other ideas and bunnies, few of which I will likely write. One is a neat Harry/Padma and Parvati tale, or is that tail? Another pair are what would happen if wishes came true? Or more accurately why we should be careful what we wish for. What if harry's deepest wish, that his parents were still alive, came true? How would that change things? Would he be happy knowing that his parents didn't love him enough to sacrifice themselves for him? Would he be happy realizing that he is not an orphan but instead was abandoned? Secondly, what if Snivellous's wishes came true, what if Lily survived that Halloween? How would he react and what would be the implications for Harry?

    Finally, when is the next chapter coming out? When I can figure out how to write a realistic conversation between two drunken men without being too drunk myself to write it.

    BJH
     
  20. darkendlight

    darkendlight First Year

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    24
    You could always get drunk and just tape yourself.
     
Loading...