You don't happen to know the link to that fic do you? I want to read it! It's exactly what I'll do to my followers when I become the next Dark Lady, ruler of the fun parts of the world.

Onto topic... I've always thought of Voldermort as "practice his laugh" in the mirror sort of man. One of those who spends his time looking up hexes and making curses, creating cunning plans, and designing his menacing wardrobe. We'll, actually, I don't think Voldermort was "evil". "Evil" people are people who do things to be "Evil" Voldermort did stuff because he thought he was right. (DH shows that when he says he does not wish to spill blood, he just wants them to do what he wants without the hassle.) That isn't to say he's not fucked up. Huh.. Do you think Voldermort is a virgin?

 

He probably is. Not only has he always been rather aloof, but I suspect that he deliberately took significant steps to dehumanize himself. That would include avoiding human sexuality. Snake sexuality, on the other hand... well, I don't want to think about that. That said, I am now, so I'd figure that he'd only have done so if he had a snake animagus form, which is fairly likely.

Narion

 

Well, Voldemort does fit the stereotype of a sociopath, and they're not exactly famed for their libido... So it's possible, though I would expect him to have used sex as a means to further his goals while he was still in school. He was supposed to be handsome. It would be very strange if a teenage kid in a boarding school didn't try to get some at some point.

Aekiel

 

Chicklepea, I remember that Shade Dancer wrote that. (google)

It's freaky though.

 

I doubt he was a virgin. J.K said that he couldn't feel love. This however does not mean that he isn't horny. I'm sure with his handsome looks-as described in the series- that he could get laid quite easily around the age of 12-15. After that point, I would think that he would be too preoccupied with furthering his goals of acquiring power.

Though I would imagine he does the occasional gangbang every once and awhile. -_-

 

:banana: Of course, who doesn't?:banana:

 

Don't forget occasional anomynous bathroom orgy, Mr. Wiggles style.

 

Don't ever call Dumbledore 'Dumbie' again. Otherwise I will fillet, you, troll; and stick your tongue on a skewer, since all it's doing is talking shit.

And now I'm hungry. See what you've done?

That would explain Tom's angst and lack of commitment now wouldn't it?

Tom hates being the choir boy.

I've always picture Voldemort a bit OCD; always trying to perfect himself and his magic. On the side, I figure he's a chess and red wine kind of guy.

 

[I've always picture Voldemort a bit OCD.[/quote]


Kind of like Adrian Monk, only with a wand, and a massive resrvoir of magical energy?

 

I've gotten some seriously hilarious mental images from this thread.

 

I think he tells the DE to have meeting, and then spies on them. "I know what you're doing" kind of thing. Spooky.

P.S

Dumbie, Dumbie, Dumbie.

 

Is that what you meant to say? It fits in with the retardedness of your other posts quite well.

 

Don't cry, little bitch.

 

And yet I'm the one who has been uselessly trolling a forum with inane comments and useless insults. Does it make you feel important? Let me guess you are shunned at school as the kid who seems slightly strange in the 'surprise!rape' way and not the Luna Lovegood way.

You come on the internet looking for a community to accept your 'unique' personality. You find DLP harsher than you first realise and respond in the only way you know how, defensively.

So now you are sitting in front of a computer screen with My Chemical Romance playing on itunes, wondering why you don't fit in anywhere...real life or the internet.

Make five useful well though out relevant posts and I will retract everything I say and offer an apology.

Otherwise, stop fucking trolling.

 

Eh, close enough. Looking forward to your apology.

 

That was not well thought out or relevant.

Dark lords obviously go to the graveyard and perform necrophilia.

 

@Grubs & Seratin: Your post editing talents made me chuckle.

@Toujours: Dumbie is no less fail-worthy than Ginslut.

@Belra: Dark wizards most likely perform necrophilia, but not necessarily a dark lord IMO. That's not very....lordy.
Someone said it earlier ( I can't be arsed to find out who), but dark lords most likely don't have a pasttime aside from furthering their cause. Their work is their play is their religion; if their not sleeping, they're ruling the world. Everything else is probably reflective of their goals. Using Toujours example of wine: it's to be made by mudbloods, enjoyed by Purebloods, and truly mastered by the immortal. Imagine bottling your win, then being the one to enjoy it 200+ years later.

 

I think as a side job, when he isn't Dark Lording, Voldemort is a children's book author.

He also, has an unhealthy obsession with the Japanese culture and uses random Japanese words when he speaks to his Death Eaters.

 

I agree necrophilia is for the peasants. Munging / Mung Diving however is for the bold and courageous leader.

So many wonderful rituals you can accomplish with this act. That's where they get most of their power.

 

I think I'm going to throw up.