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Abandoned Diadem by Seratin - K

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Mordac, Apr 14, 2008.

  1. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Title: Diadem
    Author: Seratin
    Rating: K
    Genre: Indie Harry
    DLP Category: [Library category]
    Pairing: None yet, there is a chance it may be one of the Patil twins, but don't bet the farm
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 18,128
    Updated: July 13, 2009
    Published: March 29, 2008
    Status: Abandoned

    Summary: One twist, one change in the past can result in an entirely new future. With different allies and ever present enemies, destiny takes hold. A story exploring what effect a different Harry would have on the timeline. A/U
    Link: www.fanfiction.net/s/4163835/1/Diadem


    Checked by Minion, January 1, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 1, 2013
  2. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Reviewed it in WbA. It's a pretty decent fic, though I think Sera needs to work a little on characterisation and flow. Quite good though, and from what I've heard of future events, original plot.

    4/5
     
  3. Dark Belra

    Dark Belra Minister of Magic

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    I expected Serrie to post this here.

    But yeah, fairly decent.
     
  4. Jenkins

    Jenkins Forum Bike DLP Supporter

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    Doubt it, WbA is the way to go for testing the waters. Whens the next update?
     
  5. NightFox

    NightFox Seventh Year

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    Bit too early to pass judgement on this story, in my opinion. In the three chapters provided however, the only things taht irk are me the speedy execution of some parts and the more flowing parts of others.

    Characterization seems a bit weak and flow often feels disrupted as if you take a break but aren't getting back in the mood to write again fast enough. Apart from it being a canon rewrite (or a Harry from a young age -- a personal pet peeve of mine), the story isn't bad.

    Rating Pending.
     
  6. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    Three? Where is this third chapter? the Fic on the listed link only has two.
     
  7. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    It's posted in the Work by Author.
     
  8. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Can't say yet. I like the idea of the story, but we have not gone far enough to really determine whether it'll be worth it or not.

    As said, characterisation needs a bit of work, as does the flow in several scenes. The latest chapter was a bit disjointed (am about to read the revised version). I imagine that will improve as Seratin continues.

    Currently 3/5 - however, it has the potential to be 4 - 4.5 with work. I won't add my rating till later.

    @ Seratin. Is this staying at K rating for a long time? I, for one, haven't read any K rated stories in yonks.
     
  9. Cosmo4

    Cosmo4 Third Year

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    Short of a massive diversion from cannon, I can't see this fic being terribly interesting. Rewrites of the Hogwart's years have been done to death.
     
  10. morgoth

    morgoth First Year

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    The first two chapters are pretty good and i like that harry doesn't get hedwig but its still to soon to judge properly.
     
  11. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I said it last night to Jenk, I'm honestly surprised to see this here.:eek:

    As regards to the writing, it isn't as polished as it could be, but I'm working on it. The rating will move up as the fic moves on, books 2 + 3 will probably be an M because of the violence. (No Swords I promise):)

    EDIT: Jenk, update could be another wekk at the most two. I'm working on a one shot or two.
     
    Last edited: Apr 15, 2008
  12. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    You're still going to do it? ^_^ Yay!
    Too early to judge it Serry, but at the moment I'd say about 3.5/5 because of your wonderful beta. ;)
     
  13. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

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    I give it a 4/5 for now. Done to death, yes, but interesting divergence.
     
  14. IBG

    IBG Seventh Year

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    Way too early to judge, nothing has set this fic apart from others yet, I think it would be best to wait until maybe Chapter 5 or 6 before adding it to the Library.
     
  15. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I got the update up on FF.net, and I've got the next chapter almost done.
     
  16. dre

    dre Squib

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    From the 3 chapters in FF.NET, I think the story is promising.
    I posted a reply in FF.NET, so I'll just say the same here

    You used the terrible cliche of having to answare a riddle in order to enter the Ravenclaw's common room, only you used it to take books from Ravenclaw's library, which is just as bad. The fact that Ravenclaws have thier own library is another cliche.<O:p</O:p
    Besides this two things, I didn't like the fact that Harry don't have Hedwig in your story, and if I am talking about owls, pls don't make Harry's and Padma's owl mates or somthing, that's just plain stupid.<O:p</O:p

    I'll rate the story once more chapters are up, for now, I guess it is a 3.5/5 - 4/5
     
    Last edited: Apr 23, 2008
  17. Veri

    Veri Denarii Host

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    Nigga what?
     
  18. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    In b4 banhammer.
     
  19. Bucks

    Bucks Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    He is saying that the story uses alot of cliche's and that he didn't like the fact Hedwig went to someone else. This next bit doesn't really make sense but I'll try. I think what he means is not to make Padma and Harry owl eachother...Which again doesn't make sense as they live in the same place.
     
  20. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Actually,I think what he's saying is that he doesn't want Harry's and Padma's owl to, *ahem* nest together.