Title: Harry Potter and the Penultimate Straw
Author:Ravenwood240
Rating:T
Genre: Darkish Independent Harry
DLP Category: Independent/Alternates
Pairing: NA
Chapters: 2
Words: 28,513
Updated: August 6, 2008
Published: May 11, 2008
Status: Abandoned
Summary:Harry was taken from Godric's Hollow by Remus and Sirius. For fourteen years, they've been hunted by Death Eaters and the Order of the Phoenix. Harry is back in Britain and he's not Happy. Albus doesn't care. Harry is only fifteen. What can he do?
Link: Linkage

Only One chapter, but it has an insane amount of potential. Shows promise in being a Political!Harry fic.


Checked by Minion, January 1, 2013

 

Nice story. Looks promising to say the least.

 

Definitely looks promising. I started to cringe when the name "Yumiko" came up, but that turned out to be a non issue.

I liked how the author went about beginning the story. Other authors have had similar ideas, but none have executed it nearly as well as this one.

I'll be keeping track of this, nice find.

 

Fics that go into the library should be good.
Having one chapter and some potential does not make it library material.

As I said before, but stopped posting from laziness.
Please, I ask for you to stop posting stories without enough content to judge.

 

Heh. Promising. Too early to tell, but smells a but like A Second Chance at Life, - Akren and essential plot details. Hopefully will learn from ASCAL's mistakes.

We'll have to wait and see, but full of win. No voting yet, but, if I did, >4/5.

 

I like the other countries,etc. wanting to take the brits down a peg or two.

Has there ever been a story suggesting that magical england still has a large Empire.? The peeks of MoM from cannon could lead to that interpretation.

May the update gods smile on raven.

 

Interesting start. This Dumbledore is fixated on his goals and sees them through: no matter the cost. It makes him as fanatical as Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and I really like that. I've got a feeling that when you mix this with the apparently impending fall from grace as Supreme Mugwump, the shit will really hit the fan.

That said, I'm hoping the updates will give as much focus on the present as this one did on the past. And with a clear writing style, maybe we'll even be treated to nice, subtle foreshadowing with this story. Good chapter, but I'll wait to rate it.

 

A good start that I will be following. It was a little dry but still acceptable.

 

I wish the writing was more atmospheric - or atmospheric at all. The overview style works for and is common in prologues, but the first installment is titled a Chapter, not a prologue. I want my setting!

 

You are not an admin and you are fairly new here being a member only for a year and 2 months so STFU and stop posting shit like that !

 

Good story so far, I'm hoping that there will be a fast update rate.

 

My guess is that Ishtar is doing the most correction. If Kinsfire had his way this would be a harem...With dull character's.

 

And you've been a member since 2005 and read like you've got Down Syndrome. Also, while I agree with you, SmileOfTheKill, it's not like this can't just be binned later. I also know that's not the point, but not much can be done about it now. Short of a mod deleting the thread, that is.

 

That name brings back some carefully repressed memories.........

 

Well, it does look promising. The story doesn't look so bad and the writing style was acceptable....

I liked the idea of Sirius taking care of little Harry instead of going on a wild hunt after Pettigrew.
The person of Yumiko gave me bad feelings about the story, but it turned to be of little consequence so far... yet it seems that some complicated international dealings might be the outcome of Harry's relation to, erm... Katsumi guy... whatever...

So far it's above average for me... will see what happens next...
3.5/5

 

Sweet start and like Manatheron said “it has an insane amount of potential”. Good find.

This Dumbledore reminds me of the way IP and Yarrgh write.
I give it 4/5

I’m just worried about the update rate. The author seems to be writing way too many stories.

+Rep to Anarual

 

Too early to recommend (or not recommend) at the moment.

I don't like the subheadings in the story. I think the author could have just used asterisks to break up the chapter. It's clear to me what parts are set in 1996 and what parts are set in 1981.

And I wonder why Japan? Why Tibet? Why is it always Asia? Why not South America? You could have German wizarding emigres setting up their own little Durmstrang in Argentina for crying out loud.

 

I'm with Adnro on this. Still, we shall see it could turn out to be brilliant or it could lack that edge that makes it epic.

What is good is subjective. The 'For Review' section was created to stop gash fics being posted and clogging up the library. There is no rule saying fics in the review section have to be good or a set length. If it's shit, the memebers will vote accordingly and it will find its place either in the recycle bin or its denoted catagory in the library. You have no place telling people what they can and cannot post.

 

As off now...it's a 4.75/5...I wait for more chapters before giving a definite score.

 

I really enjoyed that opening chapter. It has Dumbledore as manipulative, like many other authors, however it is done magnificently. I will wait on more for a review score, but for now, I give it... 4.5/5