I've just finished reading the last chapter and my final rating remains the same: 4.5/5

My previous post as well as the one of Methene summarizes it well enough.

A few thought of mine:

The Snape thing was, in my opinion, both strange and unnecessary, but it wasn't that important..

The ending was a bit chaotic, as there were a lot dreams/visons which shows us how it could turn out, but how well thought it was... the conclusion was building slowly throughout the story leaving us with the sense of suspension, which is great.

I guess that a sequel is not only not needed but it could ruin a well-written piece of fiction..

edit: on second thoughts... if we had the annual awards for fics, my vote would be on this one for both best characterisation as well as best post-DH for new fics...

 

It's good and I really enjoyed reading it, but it's not really Harry Potter, few of the characters resemble their counterparts in canon and magic, one of the most important parts of any fic, seems to be almost totally sidelined for a story of drugs, lies and debauchery.

That said, I loved the insidious creeping corruption that ensnares all of the characters. I also loved their gradually dawning realisation that the world they had casted as black and white as teenagers isn't as simple as they thought.

It's one of the best fics I've read in a long time. 5/5

 

Something for everyone who has posted complaining about the characterizations to consider: Of course they're not behaving like "cannon" dictates they should! how else could JKR tack on the epilogue?

Really in the last three books, but especially in book six and seven the cannon characterizations were raped and lobotomized. The writer just plotted a course from year seven and projected what would be required to create the characters we meet in the Epilogue. If you disliked the then you're supposed to hate this fic's characterizations.

As for the whole Snape thing? Based on the Author's Notes and commentary I expect that was more or less intended to be fan-service. I wouldn't take those scenes too seriously.

--bornagainpenguin

 

4/5. It's extremely well written. The corruption is extremely well done. The only real problem I have with this fic is excessive use of drugs. I can't see Hermione, no matter how desperate, actually using them. A little bit of disbelief is necessary, but over all a good fic.

 

I had to stop reading this fic. Harry was far too hypocritical for my tastes. I really can't stand people like that. Harry "My Daddy's a Saint and so am I" Potter. I have a feeling that if I kept reading, it would only get worse.

 

Naw, it gets much better. The slow decent into corruption, and the simple ways it could have been different, make it a library-worthy. I loved the character development.

It could be more... exciting, but maybe Shezza spoiled me. 5/5, at any rate.

 

Outstanding. Definitely deserving at least 4 stars for such a creative interpretation of Rowling's canon. I don't think it's worth 5 though. I didn't particularly care for the author's use of Snape.

 

I think the use of Snape was catering to the fangirl community. Such weaknesses are preferably absent, but understandable. Still he had a minor role overall so it should not be too eye glaring.

 

I'm only on chapter 14 and strongly considering not bothering to finish it, so I'll have to take your word on the 'plausible transition' part. I'm all on board with the 'boring' and 'characterization' observations, though.

For a work that apparently picks up canon where it left off, then returns to canon before the epilogue, the characterizations are distinctively non-canon. Yes, not even the last two books featured quite the level of retardation that Harry and Hermione do here.

Sadly, though this is, in some ways, well written, frankly it comes across as a rather elaborate character bashing fic. Harry is a total jerk, Hermione is... ugh, and did any of us need to read Hermione's thoughts that Ron was a more exciting lover? Yeeurch! uke:

Harry and Hermione are portrayed here as two of the most unlikable characters since canon Umbridge. Their behavior is unceasingly obnoxious, increasingly bungling and idiotic, and some of the shit they pull is beyond the pale. I can't honestly see Hermione obliviating a non-combatant and shipping them to another country (not counting her parents), nor Harry assisting her in doing so.

So why would I enjoy reading about it in my leisure time? What was the point, that this author can realistically portray the unlikable post-OoTP cast in order to finish driving them into the dirt the extra few inches that JKR didn't quite bother with?

Successfully imitate shit, and what you end up with is imitation shit, no matter how seamlessly, artfully, or convincingly you did it.

I don't buy rubber dog shit because I have better things to do with my money than spend it on a replica of what our dogs make for free.

I don't like this fic because I had better things to do with my time than read a replica of the garbage JKR fobbed off on us already, only increased to the nth degree.

You can appreciate the quality of the grammar, spelling, etc. as much as you want, but the only people I see honestly enjoying this, are people who have some kind of hate-on for the characters.

I don't know why anyone who actually likes the characters (at least for the first five books) would enjoy reading this, and I don't see why anyone who didn't like them in the last two books would want to read even more of the same.

Maybe that's my splitting headache talking, but that's just the way I see it.

Having said all of that, I'll give it a 3/5 for being well constructed, having very few spelling/grammatical errors, and for sticking a thumb in JKR's eye.

 

Honestly? It's fanfiction. I don't dislike all the characters she demonizes, I'm just able to differentiate between this and Harry Potter. The enjoyment in this fic is watching the characters continue to grow up, see how they fall into the traps that they condemned the ministry and Dumbledore for in the past.

As for Hermione, throughout the books she makes a variety of calls where she has pitted what she believes to be right against what might benefit others the most. She hid Lupin's lycanthropy from an entire school, despite the fact that he might infect or murder others, she broke rules in the Triwizard Tournament to aid Harry and she also broke into a top secret ministry department in order to do what she considered to be the right thing. I don't think non-lethally harming someone standing between her and what she considers to be right is that much of a stretch.

Obviously, merely my interpretation. I can see why you dislike it.

 

I can understand that interpretation, though... was helping Harry actually a breach of the tournament's rules at all? It was said that you couldn't get help from the teachers, nothing was said about training with your friends.

Hermione helped him learn the summoning charm for the first task after he decided he'd need his broom. The only cheating that was done there was Hagrid telling Harry what the task was, and Moody (as a teacher) offering advice. That was it, really. Harry figured out the egg without Hermione's help and she didn't come up with anything for the second task. There was no way any of them could have done anything about the third task, except stuff that basically falls under the category of 'studying'. I think this one is a non-issue. Hermione did not, in fact, break any tournament rules when helping Harry during GoF.

Not ratting out Lupin probably just falls under the category of 'the headmaster hired him and the headmaster is always right'. Maybe not.

However, breaking into the Ministry was to stop Voldemort (though she strongly suspected it was a trap), which is pretty selfless. It didn't have anything to do with what Hermione 'considered to be right'. Unless you're a death eater, Voldemort torturing and killing a man, in the very seat of your government, is a bad thing. Without question.

Not at all a comparison to obliviating a woman who is in mourning so that Hermione can avoid bad publicity.

A more pertinent comparison might be what she did to Umbridge. Luring the racist bitch within reach of the centaurs was pretty ruthless, though it might not have gone so badly for Umbridge if she could learn when to shut her fat mouth. Of course, I have no illusions that Hermione shed any tears over leaving for dead the woman who stole her middle name, in that situation.

Thanks, I appreciate it. And I can see why some people do like it, though it's (obviously) not my cup o' tea.

 

She did also obliviate Luna's dad and didn't they jump three random ministry employees in DH?

Meh. I didn't see it that OOC for Hermione.

 

I think we need to make a distinction between the Hermione in PS-OOtP and the Hermione in HBP-DH. One is IC, the other is OOC.

Can you guess which is which?

 

Which main characters doesn't she demonize (besides the Blessed Malfoys)? I don't mind a little character bashing, but when you make every character an unlikable waste of skin your story sucks.

 

McGonagall? Shacklebolt? Neville Longbottom maybe? Arthur and Molly Weasley seemed quite in character and intact to me...

Given this site's know proclivities I'd say Ginny was quite in character and exactly as I perceived her to be... ;0

--bornagainpenguin

 

I don't think she really treated the Malfoy's that well, she just demonstrated that the clever buggers could drag themselves back to the top. She also showed what a sheep Harry really was.

The goal of this fic was to provide a plausible explination for the ending of DH, and at that it succeeds masterfully. Hermione wouldn't marry Ron for any reason other then being drug addled.

Snape was silly and pointless, but at least he ended up with a Dumpy chick. That makes me feel better.

If it weren't for Snape, I'd give it 5/5, but he comes back to life, and that is just silly. 4/5

 

There is quite a lot of interesting material in here, but the story is told in a way which didn't really sit well with me. It feels somewhat forced in places, and Lucius is way too OOC. I really don't like Hypocritical!Harry, and making Snape survive the war was not a good idea at all.

The world is very stable, and the writing style is pretty damn good. Character bashing runs rampant throughout however, and it totally overshadows the original ideas. I normally don't mind bashing fics, but I felt very underwhelmed with it this time around, perhaps because the author failed to make me identify with the dislike.

Hermione's development was excellently portrayed, it's just not something I'm interested in at the moment.

The quality of the writing cannot be denied, but Unlikeable!Harry, combined with the presence of the Malfoys and Snape, keep me from fully immersing myself in the story.

3/5

 

I actually kind of liked this one. Characterization, given that the entire series is counted here is definitely around a 4/5. Excluding Malfoy, but...I can forgive it. And I don't mind Snape as much as most of you do...no, I don't think he's a particularly great character, but he isn't completely horrible either. At least here he managed to identify most of his mistakes, I thought.

Plot I'd give a 4/5 as well...while it seemed a little bogged down in places, I could really feel the tragedy of it by the end. Especially how it all seemed to go to hell in the end.

Overall, 4/5.

 

Well aware of the nearly three year gap but I figured I'd review. First of all: holy shit did DLP members not know how to spell 'canon' or what? S'like fuckin' MuggleNet up in this bitch. Anyway, to the story. As a rabid supporter of H/Hr, the beginning of the story and what it promised appealed to me.

But slowly as the characterizations manifested and were fleshed out, there was that nagging feeling in my stomach that this wouldn't be the type of romance story I might enjoy or find plausible (a decade later and I still haven't read a good H/Hr fic). In truth, I laughed out loud when I read the following comment in this thread:

The author's ability to make every character an utterly unlikable shitbag is truly awe inspiring.​

It's funny because it's true, as is the gist of Warlocke's comments. Yet, unlike him (it appears), I managed to finish, which I didn't think I would be able to do. Every time I got to a portion I thought would dissuade me from continuing, there'd be another line that for some reason reeled me back in. In that case, it's a very well-written story.

It's odd because unpleasant characters with whom I cannot relate are a turnoff. I imagine that's how it is for most everyone. This might be the only story I've completed where I hated all the characters involved. I wanted Hermione to get better. I wanted them to be wrong about Hermione. I wanted Harry to deny his parents for their transgressions. That never happened. The characters are not better at the end of the story.

After reading it, I took a piss. I thought the ending was particularly stupid at first. But when I sat down and read it again, there was something there. I don't know. The fact that Harry was still about family. The unicorn. It was the right paragraph. The rest of the chapter might not have been needed. The backdrop of a world potentially under siege was probably unnecessary. It was an interesting touch but the last paragraph was succinct and hefty.

I suppose this story is akin to Inglourious Basterds or Pulp Fiction, perhaps more the latter. I couldn't sympathize with anyone in that. But there's a realness to it that's missing in everything else. It's unique. Unique does not necessarily mean good but for some reason, I think this story is good. Perhaps it's because despite this brain-dead author's attempt to "stick it" to Rowling, she (or he) managed to adequately convey people. For all the disdain of the characters and their traits, she nailed humanity as a whole.

Perhaps that's why it's unsettling. 5/5.

 

Wow, why exactly is this excellent piece of fanfiction in the Recycling Bin?

This is definitely one of the most emotionally wrenching stories I've ever read.

The author defined it as a commentary on DH but it's much broader than that. It's a commentary on every character in the series and it isn't biased towards the Dark or the Light. Dumbledore isn't a paragon of all that is light and good and nor is he overly manipulative, for example.

Everyone was shown as they are and not as the fandom has changed them in our memories.

I'm guessing this is here because it didn't really fit in with the DLP tastes back then but DLP has grown since then and so has its members, this deserves to be in the real Library, not the Sorta-Kinda-But-Not-Really-DLP-Material-Part-Of-The-Library.

This actually made me reconsider the way I saw the characters of the series instead of presenting a fandom-born caricature.

This is one of the most real and visceral fanfictions I've ever read, it's at the same level as Sisyphus by esama or Cauterize by Lady Altair.

A solid 5/5 and deserving of the C2.

EDIT: I usually don't read the other comments on a story thread before reviewing a fic. I just read some other people's comments.

The people who said that Hermione using drugs is uncharacteristic are right. But I don't really see the Mellow Yellow stuff as "drugs" as we or Hermione would see them, more like anti-depressents or anti-anxiety medication. They're not addictive, they don't make you hallucinate or feel like everything's fine and dandy, it just helps get your emotions under control. Heaps of people use anti-depressants or similar medication and they get along fine. But some people get addicted to them without the help of addictive chemicals, and obviously Hermione has. Heaps of intelligent, resourceful and responsible people end up addicted to their vices, it doesn't make them any less intelligent, resourceful or responsible.

Some people need it, especially people who have just been in the middle of a war in which they lost people close to them, I'm surprised that Harry didn't start taking them as well actually. Not only that but they are eighteen they're still kids really even if they've been through a lot and they still get angsty. They won't be adults until the epilogue and even then adults get angsty too. Ever seen American Beauty?

Also we need to remember that Hermione wasn't involved in any meaningful way in the muggle world past the age of ten or eleven. I doubt she would have gotten nearly the same amount of warnings against drug use as we have, that only really started in the mid-90s (don't quote me on that though, I wasn't born until '94 afterall, I'm basing this off of my older sisters' and parents' memory of events) and the real information about drugs only starts when you get to highschool really. Primary/elementary school kids don't get seminars at school assemblies about how drugs fry your brain. And the WW doesn't seem to have even a mild understanding of addictive drugs.

EDIT #2: Yeah I'm kinda on a roll now.

The characters weren't "demonised". No one was. Maybe Dumbledore a little but there wasn't really that much on him. I think the characters were just presented as everyday people who have been through shit. Molly was raised in the 60s (possibly earlier considering the differences in the wizarding life cycle) I'm not surprised at the way she is portrayed. Harry was raised in a cupboard, really isn't all that smart, is emotionally and socially stunted, thinks of his parents as these sort of demi-gods who could do no wrong, raised in an abusive home and has just gotten out of a war in which he was the centre piece. No wonder he's a bit fucked in the head. Ginny was portrayed like any nineteen year old, independent, tomboyish girl who has just had her all her dreams for independent life taken away an replaced with a lifetime of domesticity with a man she doesn't know all that well and doesn't really love to the same extent in which he loves her would be portrayed.

I personally think that you need to read this fic keeping in mind that, no matter how many times the characters emphasise the illusion, that many people don't really become responsible adults for a long time and that the characters in this story are so far and away from adults that it is ridiculous to expect them to act as adults when they aren't.

They're all still teenagers, so they all act like teenagers.