Little bitch. Trying to lure some pity by the stupidest way possible. Laughable.

 

Leukemia? She probably deserves it.

 

LOL

I submit this one on the pure basis that she just added me to her author alerts.

 

I cannot actually comprehend that Vash. I don't think there are words that describe whatever it is I just read

 

I like the way she hates snape/hermione and seems to think its disgusting.

 

Lulz, quite. And when combined with;

Four animes that are adult, and quite brutal at times, and sailor moon. Fukken lulz. But this;

Lady, you fail.

 

Do I even want to know what Demon Beast anime is? It sounds like some violent-porno-anime type with a mixture of beasts doing beasts or something.

 

According to wiki.....

 

You know, it figures thats what it would be...

 

Okie... I was trying to find a profile that was different from the goff/prepz crap, different from merely searching site:fanfiction.net/u/ "slashy goodness" and stumbled across this beauty:

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/787723/XLight_ForeverX

It starts normal, 17 year old female. Which as we know, everyone on the internet is a 17 year old female. Then it turns into a plea that suicide is not the answer and to call her if you're feeling suicidal.

I'm sure you can picture the emo ads already but this paragraph took me by surprise and cracked me up:

Yes, because part of being in witness protection is announcing you're in witness protection. Such a lovely spattering of "facts" to share before on to the stories.

And you gotta give props when they sign off:

Okay. So who's feeling suicidal and going to call that number? Anyone? Anyone? I've seen how much time you spend on these boards. You really don't have much to live for.

 

This one has one thing in particular I hate: stage directions.

 

I was feeling very suicidal. So....

Just called the number. After 10 rings it goes to message. This girl does not sound 17. I was going to leave a message stating that I am the mafia, and I want the royalties to her stories, but didn't have the heart.

 

Tell her Harry dies in the last one as she's on her deathbed . . .

It might speed up the process.

 

Nah. Tell her that Draco Malfoy gets a sex change spell, and spends the last movie in high heels and a miniskirt.

 

-looks at the Profile-

I can see why it sucks so badly

-walks off looking for gun-

Can I shoot her? Please? PPPPLLLLEEEAAAASSSSEEEEE?

-waits-

 

There is a saying on the internet and I think it's 'Asking for it'

Well, these girls are asking for something.

 

ROFL. That would have been awesome.

 

Nah, she'd have an orgasm.

Anyway this chick is actually a member here. What scared me was the amount of slash in her favorites. She keeps it quite so I guess I won't call her out and leave it up to you to guess who. MrJoe might have a one up on you guy's though as she reviewed in his story. It was how I found it in the first place.

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1041287/obsessed_with_snape

I lol'd.

 

How much better would fan fiction be if we didn't have the movies? I mean people wouldn't be drooling over Tom Felton and Alan Rickman and making Harry shove his cock in them at every oppertunity. I reckon the number of twin fics where Harry's brother is called Daniel would be halved. Just imagine authors actually having to put thought into their OC's.