Here's the direct link to the first chapter, it works without being logged in.


... but ... but ... there ain't no smut in there ...!


Seriously, wrong expectations here. I mean what do you think of when you start reading a story that says nc-17 and Harry/Lavender?

So, it does have a plot. And it has clichés, but not all of them. Maybe that is something to be grateful for nowadays ... or maybe I've been reading too much of ChemicalGenocide's story.

Harry gets abused by Vernon, but at least it only takes up a few lines and he isn't left half-dead. He goes to Gringotts, but doesn't meet Griphook. He gets the usual truckload of money, but at least I don't have to wade through a three-page list with holdings and estates and figures. He is in Diagon Alley, but there is no shopping spree.

See what I mean?

... yes, I'm actually considering to give it bonus points because it has not all the chlichés when it could have.

Other than that, the speaking to dragons bit came out of nowhere and seemed completely superfluous. And even if it becomes important later on, it was poorly introduced.

Talk about random ideas.

Then we have a night out with Lavender and Parvati, which was entertaining because I was in the mood, and days at the Burrow which was meh. I don't care all that much for Harry inventing things. Also, huh? The way I read it, it first went like: Electric things don't work while surrounded by magic, because magic fucks things up. So, he ponders about shielding it from magic with ... magic?

And there where small things that annoyed me in every chapter, but I'm to lazy to look and check what they were.


However, bonus points for a hot Lavender and no love, only both wanting some fun. That could end at any second though, because he stated it would be Harry/Harem, and the excuse for all authors I know of to make that work is that Harry has so "amazingly much love", and loves them all equally.

Eh, now where did that puke-smiley go?

But yeah, until that (or something with an similar amout of fail) happens, I think I'll follow it. I hope he leaves it at Harry/Lavender.

All in all, I think it's 2.5 - 3/5

 

...he said, yet sadly, the wise words went unheard.


It read the next chapters at TTHM, and it gets better.

However, it also gets worse.


It went downhill the minute overambitious author No. 5293 decided that merely fun, a Super!Harry and a casual fling for a pairing wasn't enough, no, there had to be some more "depth" there, there had to be Drama, a Harry-Lavender-Ron-Hermione-Drama.

Also, he had not yet started on Harry/Harem, and now that wouldn't do at all, so lo and behold, he decided to make Lavender jealous, bitchy and spiteful and start a fight over nothing, so that she was out of the way and he could finally get started on that which is the tool of the virgin fanboy and the product of a mind, that couldn't decide what to do, so he did it all.


The worst thing is, I can't even argue that Lavender is OOC, because from all we know from Canon, I can see her act that way. However, it also completely negates the solid groundwork he laid for her in his own story -- he build her character up, and completely destroyed her later.

I hate that. Maybe it is realistic, and eventually the natural outcome of a relationship like that. However, maybe, I didn’t want to read about realistic. I was fine as it was, thanks.


Afterwards, the Harry/Many thing comes into play, and I have to say, rarely have I realized that crassly how very much the whole is not the sum of its pieces. Concerning the pairings, it's like you have in front of you chocolate, crisps, and all the yummy things, but they're all on one plate, mashed together, and while taking a bite, you realise that while each is delicious on its own, all together at once they taste quite bad.

I like each pairing. It works as a Harry/Lavender story. It works as a Harry/Fleur story. It works as Harry/Narcissa -- but together it does not work. It doesn't make the story three times as good, just worse.

Or in figures: I'd give 4/5 for Harry/Lavender, 4/5 as well for Harry/Narcissa, 3.5/5 for Harry/Fleur, 3/5 for Harry/Tracey and Harry/Daphne.

And together, that makes for something around 2/5.

And what makes it that much more frustrating is that each taken for itself, it is that good. Up to the obvious point Harry/Lavender is refreshing, because it's casual. No true love shit, just two teenagers having fun. That is so rare in fanfics you have to search it with a reading-glass. Or Harry/Narcissa -- it makes for a good H/C -- in another story. And so on.

Purely for wasting that potential, it gets another -0.5

And finally, in regards to Lavender, I think we ought to hate her by now.

However, I don't.

Instead, I hate the author. And that's the last strike.

1/5.

 

Lol, I was angry when I wrote that, so what did you expect? And it got not all that much to do with the Harem thing. As I said, first the author tore an up til then perfectly alright character to shreds. I don't like that -- not just here, in general. And afterwards, it all but screams from every line that I'm supposed to hate Lavender now. Only, I don't want to, so hating the author is the next best thing -- for trying to make me hate Lavender. Does that make sense? I thought it did when I wrote it.

If the author stopped doing that, we would be well on our way to become best friends again.

Well, I was, as well, but I almost wish there was no conflict. If I read an overpowered Harry, I want to have fun. So what Harry had with Lavender fitted that exactly, and that was why I liked it so much. What I don't want to read when I want to have fun, however, is that much relationship-Drama. It's the very anthithesis of fun. So that's what got me all huffy.