Yeah... me too. That's what you get for not reading the context.

 

No offence taken. (I hope this is correct)

 

NEW RULE

Severus Snape is NOT the heir to the vast Snape fortune!
​

There is no Snape family manor, no Snape family signet ring, and no title of Lord Snape.

Severus Snape's father, Tobias Snape, was NOT magical, he was 100% muggle. He wasn't even a charming, handsome, wealthy muggle, he was a poor, drunk, and abusive muggle. Because he was a muggle, nothing of Severus's that has to do with the Wizarding World would be under the name of Snape.

If Snape had any of these things, they would be under his mother's maiden name, Prince.

Snape does not sit on the Wizengamot and there is no ancestral castle/manor/cottage because if there were, he would be living there instead of in his dead parents' sewage-stinking hovel in an industrial zone.

Finally, he has no title beyond that of 'Professor' (when Hermione or Dumbledore force the students to actually use it), and 'Potions Master', which is merely a job description, not an indication of academic achievement.

Thus, there is no Prince legacy, beyond getting the ever-loving shit beaten out of you by whoever you've pledged your life to. Eileen got battered by her husband, but her son has her sorry situation beaten, hands down. Severus got his body and/or mind kicked around in one way or another by Lily, Voldemort, and Dumbledore.

Other than that grand tradition of degradation, he inherited jack crap. He does NOT spend his time away from school sipping brandy in his sprawling manor house. Too bad, so sad, end of story.
​

----
Some people apparently needed this pointed out for them.

 

Where's that a quote from? It's pretty awesome.

 

Thanks. It's all me, I just wanted to highlight it by putting it in a quote block. I think I'll ninja-edit for clarity...

 

Speaking backwards does not create a spell​

“htrof emoc, niotalupinam fo nomed, suedomsa!”
This will not call a demon. It will make every reader with enough brainpower to figure this out (which is half a braincell running on Diesel) pity you for your meagre creative prowess.

At the very least, speak proper nonsense.​

 

I hate incantations that are word scramble.
Put some effort into it, or simply mention "[magic user] casts an incantation that [has this effect.]"

 

Ouch that is from my fic. And surely if it is used in a circumstance which is kept consistent (for example some sort of summoning which uses mirror language in every case) and not just for every spell (edolpxe! yelled Harry) it can be allowed?
I mean there has to be an element of consistency over plain retardedness.

 

Being consistently retarded isn't better than being plain retarded.

Thing is, you don't even have to have an incantation. If, for example, you had just said that the words rolled from his tongue directly from the foreign memory (if I remember correctly) without much conscious thought, voila, no idiotic mirror language.

 

You make a fair point, I reckon I'll just correct that in the chapter now. Thanks Potterlaw - *gives a thumbs up and smiles at the camera* - now I don't write like a douche!

Seriously though, these rules are gold. And now I can stop other fanfiction writers writing like I did

 

Your *Gives a thumbs up and smiles at the camera* makes you look like a douchebag and a retard.

 

I don't know, it gave me lulz.

​

 

Your post makes you look like a douchebag and a retard.

Srsly, it was obviously a parody.

Nice pic, Wack.

 

{shrugs}

had the intended effect on me, It took a minute and then I got a mental image that was pretty much exactly what warlock posted.

Granted it was a slightly sarcastic thank you, but hey, it was worth the lol.

 

Unless it includes the words "never" "not" or any other such

 

First, you fill me with hope...

...and then you take it away.

 

Amendment to Warlocke's Rule:

Know your manors. Just as Snape does not have an ancient Snape Manor, neither does Remus Lupin. Or Ted Tonks. Or, every other character in Harry Potter, unless explicitly stated. If everyone had a manor, there would be no real reason to have one, and families like the Malfoys and Blacks would simply be your average wizarding family. They are not, for better or for worse, they are among the elite of their society.

New Rule: Nicknames

Hermione does not have a nickname. Hermione's nicknames fail without question, ever single time. She will never be referred to as 'Mione, Hermy, Mine, or Herms. The only possible exception is Ron, but when he gives her a nickname, everyone else will immidietly recognize it for the fail that it is.

Clarification: On that note, noone will have nicknames. Snape may have a plethora of nasty terms he is referred to in private, but every character when in direct conversation, will use said individual's actual name.

 

Except for Tonks - it is her preferred form of address.


Edited to add: And Dumbledore is RUDE when he refuses to address her as Tonks. Calling her "Nymphadora" isn't a matter of a grandfatherly old man using a pet name - changing someone's name against their stated wishes is actually an insult.

 

Well, Tonks is her name, just her last one, so it doesn't really make a difference, unless you're talking about DH.

And I don't know about how rude it is, calling someone by their first name instead of their last, despite it being against her wishes. Besides, she seems to have a good relationship with him, being in his order and all.

 

Banner is correct. It doesn't matter how 'close' they might be (and I doubt they are that close, as if anything, they have a boss-employer relationship at most) Tonks has explicitly stated her preference to be called such. For him to do otherwise is to go against her wishes, and is thus nothing short of disrespectful.