1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Abandoned Elementary Calculations, by KCourtKat

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Banner, May 12, 2008.

  1. Synchro

    Synchro High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    554
    Location:
    Texas
    Kraken's blood as a core? Isn't that something that Ollivander does not use in his wands? Also isn't the trace placed on the wizard and not the wand?

    It was alright for the most part, bit abrupt but alright...and the keeping my true talents hidden theme appeared yet again, but it was approached slightly differently here than the norm. 3/5
     
  2. Palver

    Palver High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Aug 4, 2006
    Messages:
    557
    Location:
    Lithuania
    Yeah, I hate it when the reasoning is to "keep my enemies to underestimate me", but to not stand out and to attract more attention from Dumbledore for the time being is alright i guess.
     
  3. Tehan

    Tehan Avatar of Khorne DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 22, 2007
    Messages:
    3,742
    Ages ago, pretty sure it was on DLP somewhere, someone theorised that Ollivander makes his wands out of his three preferred materials (err... phoenix feather, dragon heartstrings, and... I forget the last), and then trades them with other wandmakers around the world that use other materials. That way he's got a wand to match everyone.
     
  4. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,672
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    I have *never* believed that there are only three standard core materials, plus the very rare one-off items that come available every few decades or so, like phoenix feather and veela or thestral hair.
    My take is that wand-making is as exacting as medicine, and those are his specialties. Other wand cores come from other wand makers.

    It doesn't make much sense to me, and that's the only justification that works at all.

    * grin *
    I went back and reread "The Weasley and Malfoy Lunch and A Show" scene again. Harry's attitude was fun.
     
  5. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,318
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    I think this fic has been getting a somewhat unfair treatment here. Sure, it isn't perfect, but many other worse fics got better grades. I enjoy Ravenclaw Harry, and this one is reminding me a bit of the sadly abandoned Child of Mercy.
    4/5
     
  6. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 7, 2007
    Messages:
    362
    Not bad so far. I was wondering if Harry was going to sulk after AD's manipulations, but he hasn't. At least, not yet. I'd like to see how future chapters come across before voting. I can see this story passing or failing quite easily, and right now it's walking a fine line.
     
  7. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2007
    Messages:
    832
    Location:
    Iceland
    I stand by my earlier rating, this hasn't disappointed me as of yet, at least.

    The story will stand or fall on how canon events will be handled, I think.
     
  8. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2008
    Messages:
    1,604
    I was under the impression they detect only Howgwarts students - thus detecting Harry with Marge and not with other accidental magic.

    Also, Harry likes knowledge and power, which Ron doesn't have. Malfoy does. As for Hermione, she was like in cannon with more respect to Harry because he's smart.

    Harry acting like a pompous dick is realistic for a genius with no social life.
     
  9. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    I'll give this one a 3.5 for now. Above average in alot of ways, but it still lacks the essential flow that I look for in the really good stories.
     
  10. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,318
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    Ok, after today's new chapter I'm gonna have to downgrade this to 3.5/5. The elemental magic and the friendly chat with V totally made it jump the shark.
     
  11. BloodRedSword

    BloodRedSword High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2007
    Messages:
    564
    Location:
    A place where we had caned American
    I'm holding on to a wait and see attitude.

    How much does the elemental magic will affect the story I have no idea. I really hope that all it does is only help him with minor task instead of giving him supernatural powers which can WTFPWN! anyone who fights him...

    As for the LV's chat, I kinda of expected it.

    So as of now, still 4/5 in my account...
     
  12. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,318
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    It's not the fact that there was a chat that bothers me, but how it went. I also didn't like how he made Snape a pureblood.
     
  13. Darje

    Darje Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 18, 2007
    Messages:
    385
    Location:
    Yesterday's leftovers.
    I'm not sure what you think about the talk, but I dislike the fact that Harry is taking a reactionary position to Voldemort's actions.

    If you check the author's profile he points out that he doesn't consider anything past OotP canon, so Snape being a pureblood is believable (before HBP I thought that he was a pureblood with a crappy childhood and parents).

    Edit: When I said I was not sure what you thought of the talk, I meant to say that I did not know what you did dislike about it.
     
  14. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,672
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    I sure didn't expect him to take a good stab at murdering Snape. Evil!Snape, too - good job, Harry.
     
  15. thapagan

    thapagan High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2006
    Messages:
    577
    Ah the old "can't kill snape off to early or I will lose my plot device" Scam, combined with the "push down the stairs" and "The mob enforcer broken bone warning" I sense a new cliche right around the corner.

    What I want from this story is to see and learn about Padma and Su.
    What I will get is up to the writer, and so far it is a 4/5.
     
  16. Mordac

    Mordac Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,318
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Birmingham, England
    Rather spectacular return to form after the phail that was the last chapter.
     
  17. Korisovra

    Korisovra Headmaster

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    1,163
    Location:
    At your mothers house
    The new chapter was much better than the last few. I'll amend my rating to a 4/5 as long as it stays at this level.
     
  18. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    honestly, how many 11 year old kids can kill a person in cold blood?
    I thought his reaction was already over the top, but if he had killed him i would have called him a psychopath. Don't let what we know about Snape colour your reaction. In this story Harry has had 1 week to get to know him, and even if he behaves like an ass that isn't enough to make an 11 year old commit murder.
     
  19. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2006
    Messages:
    1,672
    Location:
    Virginia, USA
    I agree with this Harry not being a cold killer. Yet.

    It is a possible future development. In this story Harry isn't emotionally driven the way JKR used AD to mould him into a willing sacrifice. This one tries to use reason and logic at all times. His ambition is only tempered by his wish to be completely independant.

    DO remember that canon!Harry DID actually deliberately kill QuirRiddle. The man was begging him to stop, but Harry followed through.
     
  20. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Messages:
    290
    in a intensly emotional moment, when faced with his parents killer yes.
    But as i said, Snape hasn't really done anything to warrant such an action.
    The normal reaction would be teenage angst and frustration since the teacher is in a position of power.
    A logical person (meaning completly logical like Harry is portrayed) should adopt a "watch carefully" position, since Snape is obviously in a position of power, so direct confrontation is too dangerous.