I put my own name in there and I got "tweet Hot-Baby Nuts"...And then I put in Bucks and I got "Sugar Lips Lovey Cakes".

 

Drakosha is a perfect pet-name. Well, perfect if you're slav. Just, wondering out loud, how "Drakosha" sounds to the English ear?

P.S. Jim, remember I mentioned that Harry and Hermione scene looked stiff, in the last chapter? Well, now having re-read parts of it, I remembered I said that and, well, did not find anything too terrible about it now. A few moments did appear off though.

Factor in that he was trying to...​

is that normal for a teenager to use that phrase? I really don't know but it put me off.

“Harry!” The poor girl’s eyes bulge from their socket.​

That one short passage could use a bit more action. (That was when he joked about all purebloods having a copy of the examination sheets.) Have her sputter a bit, or even mock-pummel him a bit. And the following passage is all soliloquy and no action.

Sometimes there appear scenes like that, in the Lie story, when in the midst of action, it got smothered by a bout of self-reflection that we have to plow through. Take Harry/Ginny/Hat scene when I, personally, had to go back several times to re-read just what the hell were they talking about.

It seems you're doing it by choice, but to be honest I can't see how it could be good. Maybe if you add in a transition, and make it humorous or sarcastic. For example:

I don't know if that could be useful for you, or whether such a style could fit in the Lie. Anyway, back to the rest of Harry/Hermione stiffness:

After a minute, Hermione snorts, “Thanks Harry, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time.”​

“I needed it too. Anything you want to go through?”​

That's the part that really stand off. Do you usually thank anyone for having a good time/sharing a good laugh, especially a friend?

Really, phrases like these surface from time to time in your writings, and, well, when I'm thinking about your style the first thing that I remember is, you need to work on dialogues: the sentences are characteristically short and blunt, and that's where the stiffness comes from.

 

"Drakie" is short, sweet, and relevant. It actually sounds like something someone might actually say.

 

While it does sound like something someone would say, I don't see the particular someone as being Narcissa.

 

Then try using a previously unknown middle name Draco has. Could be anything. Stuck up purebloods don't seem to be the kind to give their children endearing nicknames.

 

Yet Bellatrix calls her sister "Cissa" ? "Drakie", or even "Dray", aren't completely off the mark.

Only mudbloods get/give weird nicknames. "Hermy" was an odd one, but I'll bet no one saw fucking "Tuney" coming - I sure didn't.

 

Yeah, fanon was way too obsessed with "Pet" to even notice "Tuney"...

-Kevin

 

Cissy, to be exact.

 

Tuney is a young persons nickname, Pet is an adults nickname. Its relatively easy to see how they would each come about if you think about it.

 

Seriously this is not that complicated.

Narcissa is a pureblood and basically upper aristocracy. While her son has obviously been pampered his whole life, I highly doubt she ever called him DRAKIE.

Just call him Draco.

 

How about knob-jockey?

Seriousley it doesn't really matter, I don't think you really need a nickname. Maybe she says DRA-- and Lucius cuts her off before she finishes.

 

I'm having a hard time picturing that scene.

"Oh, my poor little knob-jockey!" Narcissa wailed...

Actually, that might be sort of awesome.

 

seems alot of people focus on the start of his name, how about the end, something like coco baby.( draCO) coco baby kins

 

Yeah, indeed, Coco Baby is a spectacular pet-name for Draco. It's so good, I suggest jbern use it for the duration of the story. Pure genius.

 

This. This right here. USE THIS.

 

<Headdesk>
Hopes were up.

Please, for the love of all that's holy, I'm in withdrawal here Jbern!!

On that subject, either just Draco, or having Lucius cut her off mid-sentence, sounds like they would work.

 

Well you certainly got my hopes up. Anyways I don't really care what MILF calls her son.

 

Draksykins?

 

* horror *
I thought I was a fairly disgusting pevert. I'm going to wash my brain, now.

 

May I know how's the current chapter going, Jim?