Bah.. You and your fucking cliffhangers, Jim..

Hope you don't make us wait another 2-3 months..

Good chapter, sir

 

Quoted for truth you stupid son of a bitch.

By the way, can we skip the TML update and go straight for this?

 

Fuck you Jim. Goddamn you and your fucking cliffhangers. We finally get an update and you leave us with another cliffhanger? That's cruel and unusual punishment. I hate you.

Burning rage aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter. The Hat's song was hilarious and full of righteous WIN. I'm not so sure about the reconciliation with Ron. I've always been a bit on the fence with him, and in your story your keeping him there on that goddamn fence. Also, HJ + Melinda Turpin = lulz.

 

Aye, the Melinda Turpin and HJ one night stand is full of win. The sorting hat song was awesome also, great lyrics.

 

Wow, I have rarely seen a single update full of this much awesome. Concentrated, Jim, excellent work.

 

Pretty fucking flawless. I certainly wasn't expecting the ending--I personally think this is the best chapter of TLL.

Very cool.

 

A most excellent occurrence to come home from work and find on my computer.

Great chapter, funny, nice cliffhanger. I will admit, I haven't the faintest idea how any of them have a chance to escape this. I await the resolution (and TML 7) eagerly.

 

that chapter was pure, concentrated win ! Cliffhanger was a cruel punishment but totally worth it. The song was hilarious and had me laughing, while HJ getting laid was righteous. All in all an excellent update with a strange plot twist and cruel cliffhanger !

5/5

 

Excellent update as always, looking forward to more.

That doesn't mean that I don't think you're a complete and total bastard because, well, I do. *wanders off muttering about assholes*

 

Full review time:

Nice observation mocking Dumbledore's inevitable introspection as to his possible culpability for not helping Draco enough to prevent him from becoming a spineless piece of shit.

Draco's punishment, more than fitting. HJ's not done by a long shot, though, so I await to see further humiliation bestowed upon him.

So much for the Malfoy pride escaping somewhat intact, and not starting to yelp.

Very nice addition to Draco's humiliation by Colin. May not have been his idea, but fantastic execution.

Dobby's reaction is great.

Sirius' advices were pretty amusing, exactly the man-whore advertised in earlier chapter.

Garrett gets points for the song. Probably the first time I haven't skimmed over one of the Sorting Hat's songs.

Even Goyle laughing at Malfoy was a great little touch.

Wow, I wouldn't be surprised to see Malfoy go off to Myrtle's bathroom for a cry after the verbal lambasting he got.

Interesting bits Harry's decided to bring into the elemental fury room. I'm going to venture a guess that the Darkness Powder is so he can use his Animagus form without anyone knowing, maybe the granite slabs as base material for wandless transfiguration, but haven't a clue besides that.

Washed up would seem to be the most fitting for this Dumbledore, but we shall see.

"Ginger dillweeds" Classic. HJ certainly cut them down to size quite quickly. They've already scored a victory against HJ. They're not good enough to get lucky again.

Nice canon link to the Teddy transfiguaration. Well done.

It certainly looks like HJ reaming out Ron in chapter 8 has done good, forced him to mature. It's almost like a completely different person from the one at the beginning of the story.

Dragons. So I guess you are going to use the canon challenges as well. Interestingly enough, the ones you've created would seem to be a more fair, and accurate representation of a wizard's true skill, as opposed to a mere three tasks with very complicated setups.

It would have been nice to see more of HJ figuring out the Puzzle Room, but I'm sure that you're setting it up so that both the audience watching and the reader enjoy the same situation, sense of not knowing what's going to happen.

HJ shoots, he scores.

The Sprout musing was great.

Terrible, terrible, awesome pun by Hat with regards to history.

The history part wasn't too exciting on its own (surprise), but it was spiced up enough to be interesting by the observations about the meditating going on.

Dementors at Hogwarts. That's a pretty cruel challenge.

The banter between the participants was very well done.

Interesting that Manos made it further than Krum. I'm thinking that, on a magical level, Manos is better than Krum. In some respects, he really is like Malfoy.

Wow. Evil cliffhanger much?

This situation stinks. There's too many things off about it. To me, this wasn't done by Hagrid's volition. Probably the Imperious Curse. Hagrid would never put the soul of Harry at stake. The magic required for the two devices would seem to be above Hagrid's level, as well (especially considering Hagrid didn't even know how to conjure water in HBP, a second or third year spell). Unless he just bought the devices at Knockturn.

I really can't think of a single way the champions are escaping this, souls intact. Really, the only way they're getting out is by either outside assistance by a professional curse breaker, or Hagrid takes them down himself. We'll see.

 

The only way i see for HJ to get out soul intact would be to transform to Pronghorn and fight them off to help Fleur.

Great chapter. Kinda felt like a filler, but still good.

 

Jim you are a great author, but your cliffhangers are despicable, to an umpteenth degree. This one was particularly evil, because we had to wait 2-3 months for the update, but enough of my whining let's move on to the actual review.

The Hat as always was absolutely fantastic. His epicness started right off the bat with his observation of how Dumbledore would blame himself, and how he would use that to his advantage. That fucking Hat is diabolical, and I can't put into words how much I love his character.

Malfoy's punishment, while not severe enough, was pretty fun to read. I would have to liked to see more of Lucius' and Narcissa's reaction. I get the feeling we will see more of them in this story, though, in the form of them screwing over HJ, some way, down the road. The verbal lashing that Malfoy got from the Hat was pretty epic, once again proving that no one fucks with the Hat, and gets away unscathed (yes the pun was intended).

The Weasley twins are quickly becoming very hateable, not the level of Krum, but they have to rising on the scale of assholeness. I really hope HJ fucking puts them in place.

HJ forgiving Ron, I usually hate the bastard, but I was alright with HJ forgiving him. He came off as actually sorry for his actions.

Harry actually planning ahead or some of the tasks was very nice to see. My curiosity level for the Puzzle Room task is really piqued.

The surprise challenge with the Dementors was very well done. The banter between the contestants came of as believable. That was some nice foreshadowing with Harry hinting he won't be turning into Pronghorn, unfortunately for him it looks like he won't have much of a chance. The reaction to that revelation should definitely be interesting.

I don't think Hagrid opened the cage on his own. I think someone in the Ministry or Malfoy who put the Imperious on him.

All in all a great chapter, Jim. Keep up the good work, without the cliffhangers.

Edit:
I don't know how I forgot this, but I just read Azrael's Little Helper's post, and remembered the HJ/Mel Turpin one night stand was indeed full of win, and it's about time HJ gets laid.

 

I gotta say once again. The Hat needs a tommy gun. no way around it. Then NO one would fuck with the hat.

 

The Dementor situation is strange though - are these Dementors on a Kiss-everything-in-range orders? If not then there the possibility of losing one's soul is drastically reduced. If so, then that rings all sorts of bells regarding accountability and whether the dementors have gone rogue.

Must say that the HJ/MelTurpin one night stand was pure fucking win.

 

Very enjoyable. I am pleased.

 

Fucking cliffhanger! Skip the TML update, in fact, put TML on hiatus, and finish this!

 

If you update this by the end of the month I will buy "Dead Eye".

...

Are they gonna be selling it in Canada?

 

I will too.

 

I'm going to buy it anyways.

 

There's like 4 or 5 Japanese movies that have similar stories, one of which spawned The Eye spin off, along with a ton of direct to video stuff where someone gets a donor body part and starts experiencing freaky things. It's nice you're trying to get published, but it's pretty unoriginal man.

Let me guess, he either sees ghosts and no one believes him, but the ghosts help him stop/uncover something major! Or he has premonitions of things that show him how to help dead soldiers?

Then again, it's not as horrible as Abraxan's book, "oh noes, it's original because it's got TWO chosen children to battle a crazy wizard!" :banana:


And yes I realize commenting on this is late, but folks on IRC were shitting on the idea earlier, figured someone may as well tell you in a nonrabid fashion.