Well to be fair, Abraxan sucks...

I'm looking forward to torrenting your book Jbern, then if it is indeed awesome I might just buy my own copy.

On an unrelated note...

I just realized what's been bugging me or a while now since I started reading your fanfics.

Your story's read uncharacteristically similar to The Dresden books. You and Butcher have a very similar method of delivery when you write. Especially lately with this story.

I don't even know if you read the books but I thought it should be said.

By the way good choice on reducing drakiekins to my baby. Those kind of nicknames are amateurish at best.

 

Glorious Update on ff.net! YAY!

 

I don't read Dresden, but did see a couple of the TV shows when they were on Sci-Fi. If my first person writing style is modeled after others, I'd say it is CT Westcott with blend of Robert Heinlein.

The guy wrote a total of 4 books in the late 80's. I've read three of them (The Eagleheart Trilogy) and they're great. The first book in the Trilogy is called Silver Wings and Leather Jackets. Track it down and read it. I'm sure you'll enjoy it enough to read the other two. Heinlein, I always liked for the thinking the lead characters did during the story and the commentary running through their minds.

Dead Eye will be on Amazon.com, its UK sister site and Barnes and Noble.com. If you can buy from them, you'll be able to get it.

Mid - Thanks for the non-rabid fashion. I appreciate it. As far as unoriginal, since it's not published yet that's a rather unfair assessment. A plot device might have been used elsewhere, but that by that line of thinking there probably hasn't been anything "orginal" in the last century.

If you decide to read it when it comes out and still feel that way, I'll accept your criticism. My original inspiration for the story came about from the Greek Myth about Charon the Ferryman and the fact that I do watch the Ghost Hunters TV show. As for the actual plot, I think it's a breath of fresh air. People who read it will be the ones who make the ultimate decision of whether I succeed or fail with this series.

I know most of the IRCHoles aren't going to buy my book. They're just going to continue doing exactly what they do now - look for their next dose of Lulz. I suspect this same argument will resurface when the website for the book goes live and when the book is released, though I might be too busy at that point to play in their reindeer games.

Back to Lie - When I finish TML 7, I'll take a long look at putting it on hold in favor of Lie. We'll see how it goes. I did put Darkness on hold finish Bungle and Lie on hold to finish Darkness, so it's a possibility.

Drakiekins had to go. My baby was a much better solution. From my perspective, the cliffhanger was the way to go to get people back in to the story. Some people seemed to think that the Draco branding thing was a cliffhanger, so I decided to show them what a cliffhanger really looks like.

I start on TML 7 today and I plan on having it done in the next 7 days. That should give me ample time to knock Lie 14 out before I go on vacation for the 4th of July.

 

So that's what a fucking cliffhanger should look like! Nice fucking update. Definitely didn't see Hagrid going nuts before it happened. Did he get to share in an Unforgiveable experience?

The bit was Melinda was a nice touch, too. Especially that second foray into studying the principles of Transfiguration. Faster Harry as an answer? Good stuff. Nice chapter overall, man. Good job.

 

That was fucking win. Even overall a great chapter, though that last scene outshined everything, so it could as well have been a filler, and nobody'd still bat an eye.

Banter between the contestants was cool. Hagrid war cry -- wtf awesome, and the cliffhanger -- pure evil.

Fleur was played down, hence, I'm expecting she'll be kicking major arse in the next scene. HJ thought transforming before everyone's eyes was a bad idea? Too bad, as they say, speak of the Devil and hear the wings flap. Ha-hah. I'll make an educated guess, and predict we'll see Prongslet and a fully-transformed Veela kicking each other's arses while simultaneously trying to stay alive. One thing is certain: the Hogwarts populace won't get too terribly bored.

 

That is such a faggoty nick-name.. Burn it with fire and don't bring it up again, please..

 

Says the guy named Boofers.

 

Says the guy named Immolo

 

If you understood Latin you would get my name. Besides even if you don't get the reference how does my name seem homosexual?

 

Oops, my bad! Confused him with something else. Hmm, come to think about it, Fleur being not able to fully transform, and being insecure about: is from the TML story, not from this one, right? Urgh.

jbern, update fucking quicker, I blame it on you.

 

All these so called 'reviews' are not reviews. Sorry.

Jbern I hope your book sells better then Abraxan's who averages about 1 copy a week over at Amazon.com if the Sales per week to ranking charts are to be believed.

I'll even keep track in my sig for you.

On to TML

The dementor scene made me what the fuck extremely hard. Dumbledore letting them IN to Hogwarts in the first place much less allowing them to be withing a foot of his students is ridiculously OOC and just flat out would not happen.

In POA he wouldn't let them in the school period. And he banished them from Hogwarts once they came to a quidditch match.

I'm assuming there is some sort of explanation for him allowing this but I can't think of any short of a dues ex machina that would make him allow this. Is he secretly mentally retarded and forgot to take his potions?

One thing I've noticed in your fics is that you don't ever have the same character play a similar role in any of your stories. Usually it's the polar opposite. That's not necessarily but it leads to extremely random things like Hagrid going insane over Giant rights in the middle of Hogwarts and releasing dementors on not only children but also one of his closest friends. There has to be an explanation for that obviously because even a mentally retarded Dumbledore who was off his meds wouldn't allow 'The Chosen One' to fight dementors in hand to hand combat.

Given that Dumbledore is sitting outside the ring I would be very surprised if he couldn't just tear the fucking thing down but that would be rather anti-climatic I suppose.

---

Moving on from TML again this publisher, I looked at their site and all I saw was Abraxan. Are you the second author they've published or am I missing something?

 

Actually, despite the potential OOCness, I really like the thing with Hagrid. Either he's turning into a crazed half giant whose already weak mind has finally snapped under years of secret hatred to the community that sent him to Azkaban twice, and then even when proven innocent, received no real aid from said community and was still unable to legally have a wand.

The other option is smart!Voldemort, who has somehow Imperioused a close ally of Dumbledore to go on a rampage in a public forum, drastically bringing not only British but International pressure against the giants, making it easier to recruit them. Also, said action will undermine Dumbledore's authority abroad, and potentially get around that pesky prophecy by having the Dementors leave Harry as a vegetable, an easy kill from 'his hand.'

So despite Dumbledore's seeming OOCness, the scene still rocked.


As for now, while I recognize of course that sometimes one is forced to do something drastic in the face of dire odds, I'm not entirely certain that Harry will transform into Prongs. I get the sense we've been building up to a Fleur discovery, not Harry revealing his talents in front of everyone. Of course, logic might dictate he has no choice, but I'm going to hold back just a tiny bit.


Anyway, great update. Tuprin ftw.

 

I'd take a guess and say it has something to do with fire, using pig latin picked up from words like immolate which may well be totally wrong.

As for sound homosexual, it was a joke, a funny, a flex of the humor muscle.

 

Nice characterisation as always: details like Ron's spider-teddy incident, or HJ feeling more like James are nice touches. Also, good work on the hat's lyrics, and vengeful Dobby was great (maybe a bit Kreacher-like though).

"TML" is "Turn Me Loose", and this story isn't it.

Good point about OOC Dumbledore, but the scene is hardly finished, and with good authors it's probably better not to assume the worst. For example, wouldn't the dementors be ordered not to eat random people before going into the castle?

It means "to sacrifice", or has to do with the post sacrificial ritual. Although, had Immolo known his Latin grammar a bit better, he might have known that the word he was looking for was "immolor".

 

I think Dumbledore only allowed Dementors in Hogwarts with cages and several Aurors guarding.

Its not like they are locked in a room with a student that is wandless and no chance of escape.

 

It means I sacrifice and it implies fire. Immolare is the infinitive and immolo is the present singular. Immolor is biblical era Latin. It is not considered proper latin by Caesarian times Latin which is the one taught in schools in Britain and the US.

 

I hope our book sells as well. If you want to keep track, I'll do my best to provide you with data.

As I explained in reviews that have question Dumbledore allowing Dementors into Hogwarts. He demanded and received assurances. The Dementors were to be in cages. There were 2 Aurors for every Dementor and the Director of the DMLE was present. You'll notice that other than bringing the cages into the room Dumbledore did not address the crowd.

As for only allowing them over his dead body, Fudge brought two of them with him at the end of GOF and ordered Crouch, Jr kissed.

John and I will be third book from Whimsy Hill. Lynda previously published a sculpting book and now her Star Sons book. She opted to start her own company rather than continue to play the query/submit/wait/wait/wait game.

I saw another opportunity and pursued it.

Back to the story, I like doing different versions of the characters. Dobby in Darkness was pretty much off the shelf canon version. In TML when he showed up he was stoopidDobby! In this one, I wanted to do the sinister version of Dobby basically turning HJ into one of those Pitbull owners who always ends up saying, "Oh don't worry, he doesn't bite."

As for Hagrid, in Darkness he ended up being "War Machine" Hagrid that many liked before like so many others, he died. TML he's a hard drinking, not too picky about his bedmates kind of guy. After all, he was the result of an interspecies tryst so he has his own opinions of what is or isn't acceptable. In this one, many suspect he is under the influence or has been replaced.

I look at it this way, why write the same old characters? Try something a little different.

 

Firstly, the switch in scene between HJ talking to Melinda and HJ shagging Melinda was pure 100% win. Secondly, holy fuck was that an evil cliff-hanger.

The two most likely outcomes to the cliffy would be Dumbledore ripping the barrier down or Pronghorn ripping some Dementors into shreds.
Lets be honest, a Pronghorn!Harry/Avian!Fleur/Dementors showdown is what we're all hoping for in terms of action, though it would make Dumbledore seem like a bit of a OOC twit. But hey, that'd justify the Hat (i.e. what we knew all along!).

I immediately thought, "Blimey Hagrid’s gone batshit crazy." Considering Voldie's penchant for longwinded impressively inventive plans, repeating the old "capture/replace-a-Hogwarts-member-of-staff-to-get-at-Boy-Who-Lived" number after its original incarnations failure wouldn't seem like a great move. Plus presumably Tommy-boy still wants some of that good old HP-brand red stuff for his grand return, if at all possible. It wouldn't be that easy to lure a soulless corpse away from the safety of a hospital ward (or grave if Soulless!Harry was put out of his misery).

 

Immolor is the 1st person present in the passive voice, and it was taught to me in school, and probably to you as well. PM me if you wan't to read out your entire dictionary to someone.

 

It was a while ago and we rarely used the passive voice. Besides why the hell would I use passive voice in my name?