EDIT: Warning! It is currently 3AM and the poster has realized in retrospect that this topic may not have a point. >> And cannot be deleted by said poster. Modplz

Now that all of you have piled in here, gnashing your teeth and ready to spit acid, we can discuss what the topic is actually about. =P

The golden patronus is a ridiculous idea, you know it, I know, but does the wizarding world?

An illusion is a technique that theoretically should require very little raw material (i.e. magical power) to craft beyond maintaining it. The real variables are believability and imagination.

Spin is the fine art of manipulating what people think according to information that may or may not be true.

Does Powerful!Harry actually have to be powerful? Misinformation goes a long way towards winning a battle, and even further towards winning a war. If a single dementor goes down under the combined intensive spell fire of the entire Order, but someone tosses up an illusion around a normal patronus that makes it look golden instead of silver...

Person A sees a golden patronus that dementors cower from. Person B heard the screams of a dying dementor. The rumor mill does the rest.

It doesn't matter that a normal patronus has the same effect, or what actually killed the dementor. 2+2=5 because people want to believe, even given evidence to the contrary. Its what makes the world go round...

This is one of the few things I give Rowlings major props for, she understands the media beast and can describe it spot on. A shame that most of the good guys only whined and bitched about it, Granger might actually have a career in spin control.

So, your thoughts. Viable plot point? Full blown bunny? Still in violation of Potter Law XL but good otherwise? Aw fuck no?

 

Actually, it's not a bad idea. I've been toying with a sort of one-shot where Harry has absolutely no powerful abilities apart from his skills in illusion charms, and how he kick arse because of it.

If you're a fan of Bleach, there's a scene where one Aizen, the antogonist, blocks a powerful attack with the protagonist's sword with merely a finger. I'm positive that that's an illusion from his powers. He also defeated two very powerful good-guys merely by having them attack an illusion of where he was, then slicing them up. Harry with similar abilities of illusion could be as weak as... well, canon... and still kick some major arse.

So yeah, a 'Golden' Patronus would be a good illusion to pull if Harry wanted to put a big publicity spin on his abilities, get the Death Eaters to fear him a little bit more.

As long as it's not real and not made the power of love.

Then we'd rape you

 

* giggle *
Set up a Press conference featuring Harry in Hogsmeade, then have the conference "attacked by dementors." Dumbledore could arrange all this, and with the help of the Hogwarts staff, I'm sure that Harry could end up looking Damn Good. Spin.

Good idea for a political!Harry scenario.

 

Except that even a multitude of Patroni from the Order would not be able to kill a Dementor.

You may be reading too much fanfics, but all the Patronus Charm does is to drive away the Dementors, probably because it is the magical manifestation of happiness- their very antithesis.

The Charm cannot be used to kill Dementors however, and they are for all accounts and purposes immortal, since canon has no evidence that any spell is lethal to it, even the Killing Curse.

For that matter, if the Killing Curse does work on Dementors, I'm pretty sure Aurors would be slinging them left, right and center in the Second War.

 

Dementors are a magical manifestation of despair. They appear wherever despair is (Dementors "breeding") so presumably to reduce their numbers you have to simply increase the general level of happiness in the country/world/area. They would never be eradicated though, 'cause there's always some emo whiny bitch who isn't happy.

Regaring the plot bunny: in its broadest form, it sounds like a good Slytherin!Harry idea, much like "What Would Slytherin Harry do?". Harry projecting a sense of much more power than he actually has through misdirection.

 

Hmmm.
So we don't use real dementors. Harry's boggart makes a passable dementor-imitation. AD, Flitwick, Snape, McGonagall, not to mention Harry. There's a lot material to work with, here.

 

I can see the Ministry propaganda now: "Be a Hero: Use a Cheering Charm"

 

Bwhahahahaha, that brings a whole new meaning to Cheer Up Emo Kid.

@Lucullus: Nono, you misunderstand. I said massed spell fire, not a bunch of patroni. I get that a dementor is nigh impossible to kill, but something tell me if you keep it in one place fore long enough under every offensive hex and curse a group of war veterans can come up with you might be able to do some damage. It would take effort and timing, not a magic fix. (Well, technically... xP)

The killing is just the idea that goes with the image.

 

So the solution to driving away dementors lies in a big fucking hippy circle?

You could always attack them with shit spiders because thats such a brilliant idea.

 

Or cast a Patronus, which is a magical manifestation of positive emotions - an anti-Dementor.

Which is what we've always known, of course. Somehow I think it's a bit more effective than simply trying to think happy thoughts, which we know Dementors can suck away, though I'm sure an Occlumens would be able to prevent that.

 

Why not? The canon solution is based off of some Peter Pan shit. "Think Happy thoughts" indeed.

Maybe a helluva lot of sex would conjure "teh golden patronus".

 

The thread isn't about killing Dementors. It's about presenting Harry as a viable hero - as the Wizarding World's Savior. In effect, this is a publicity stunt. It's a morale building exercise. If AD had had THIS brain storm during the summer before the TriWizard, or even the summer after the Graveyard, then Rita Skeeter would have done a lot less damage to the Resistance.

If Harry hadn't been so badly beaten down from nearly two year's worth of national slander and public humiliation, a lot of things might have been different.

On the other hand, all Dumbledore's plans hinged on making Harry willing to sacrifice himself for the Cause. Keeping his connections to other people to the bare minimum served the old man's purpose.

 

Relax, champ. I know what the thread's aboot. But on topic: the plan wouldn't have worked.

Dementors are dark creatures. Basically, the only beings that have had sway over them (according to canon) have been dark wizards. Assuming AD pulled off such a hitch, someone like Skeeter could easily hint that HP has to be a budding dark wizard to be able to "destroy" Dementors. And he'd be stuck; what would Dumbledore do, backtrack and say that the Order actually helped ?

Then it's back to being an attention-seeking prat again. All of which would benefit Voldemort, cos nobody would be looking for his machinations.

 

Hermione ran out of the Three Broomsticks, her bushy-hair bobbing, and immediately began her search for Harry. After a moment in which she stood, staring confusedly at the half-naked body of the Boy Who Lived girating madly inside of--on top of, she quickly thought--Luna Lovegood, she ran towards the lovemaking duo screeching at the top of her lovely lady lungs.

"Harry, what are you doing!" she screamed, building up what was sure to become a full-blown rant. "There are Dementors coming! We've got to get out of here!"

Harry stopped fucking Luna for a moment and looked curiously at Hermione. He considered her as one would an animal at the zoo, and then said, "You realize I'm fucking Luna right?"

Hermione stood silently, steam pouring out of her ears.

"Listen," Harry said, losing patience, "I'm protected against the Dementors. Pull off your shirt and climb underneath if you want to live."

Hermione began to grow quite cold and thought she must have misunderstood him. "What did you just say?! Come on, we've got to--

"No, god damnit," Harry said, beginning to get angry. "Listen to me!"

Hermione looked at Harry's cock and found it to be pounding Luna in a hole that she was sure wasn't supposed to be used for that sort of thing. She wanted to explain to Harry that he was doing it wrong, but found herself unable to speak as a Dementor swooped down and began making out with her soul. Once it was out, she toppled over, dead to the world.

"Fuck," Harry eloquently said.

"Harry," Luna said, panting, "I'm trying, but you won't keep a steady pace."

Harry looked down and realized she was right.

Thirty minutes later, after the Dementors had sucked out the souls of three-quarters of the population of Hogwarts and nearly everyone in Hogsmeade, Harry knew it was time.

"I think I'm going to--

And at that moment, as he was pulling out of Luna's gaping asshole, a Golden Patronus spilled forth out of his throbbing cock, and it rushed to the nearest Dementor, baking it in 15 years of the most powerful cum to ever exist.

 

Er...It wasn't a challenge, man.
4/5 for the unexpectedness?

 

All I have to say is...

lolwut?

 

IT...

was for the lulz. Just something that came to mind.

 

*Blink*

*Starts to comment.*

*Stops.*

*Blink*

 

Hahaha, god one Averis!