The beginning is interesting. I know exactly shit about British 'Orders' and whatnot, so this will probably get me into looking at the real thing, too. Look forward to seeing more.

 

"Glows in the presence of pure evil" I think I know where you got that idea And once again: I love the way you portray Harry. Funny as hell. Hope to see more soon

 

Interesting.

It isn't long enough to rate yet though.

 

Jeram - Thanks!

Gizmore - Check up at the top of the story to find out a bit more info. While this will be a Horror story it will not be a gorefest in likes of today's cinema. It will be more Lovecraftian/Dumas. And that should be rearing its head in the next couple of chapters. There has to be a decent amount of suspense before whipping out the 'bloodsoaker.'

ParseltonguePhoenix - British Orders aren't really that interesting, unless you are into that sort of thing. It's 'mostly' political maneuvering. But it does set the scene nicely. You can do a Wikipedia search on it. The info they provide is actually almost accurate.

eXcalite - The glowing-thing is an accurate description of the legend surrounding the sword. The only thing that isn't 'true' is the expanding trait of the cauldron. I added that because it would look silly to have Harry carting around a really large pot everywhere he goes.

 

Ahh ok. I was reminded of Frodo's sword from LOTR which glows in the presence of orcs.

 

I've received a number of queries about what the Order of the Bath actually does. I think I already have too many "info dumps" in this story as it is and have purposely left the information out because I will be going into Harry's duties later in the story.

Here is a decent summary of the Order
http://http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Order_of_the_Bath

But in a nutshell, it was formed to create a political base for someone high in the government at the time. Over the years it has grown to be a reward for military types when their career ends, special services to the Crown, heads of state, etc. It's a group that can supposedly hold themselves up above others when they aren't included in peerage.

They don't "do" anything, officially anymore.

In the beginning they would "sponsor" a few people (pay for their training, housing, etc in times of need. They would be "Knights." They have the military for that now and most of them are old farts anyway.

 

Seems good, I liked Harry's carefree attitude, and it seems promising and even though it seems DH complying there is no mention of Ginny, right now 4/5 because its still short.

 

Harry is strung along too often, I think. He needs to be a little stronger, but then Im sure part of that is Padma's fault.

It needs more, but it isnt bad altogether. 4/5.

 

Intriguing, but it lacks - at least so far - any real element of danger. If officer appointments are not for life but may be resigned at any time, why don't all officers resign every 69 years, 364 days with the implicit understanding that the queen would reinstate them in a week or two? Granted there's a murderer running around, but s/he seems rather easily avoided. Still well-written and entertaining, regardless.

 

Well the answer to that question is easy enough and has already been given. The seventy years is not an exact number, it's around seventy years. Secondly, each time the murders have occurred they've been thought ended permanently. Padma said all of this already. It wasn't until the first murder happened again that they knew it had returned.

Although I guess it could be argued that they could be "laid off" for a year if that was the case. But would it have made a difference to the murderer if they didn't hold the position only by technicality? I've tried not to have any gaping plot holes so thanks for keeping me on my toes nonetheless.

I go into the past murders in the next chapter so it will be a little easier to understand why they thought it was already over and why they've had such little time to prepare, etc.

It should be out either tomorrow or Saturday at the latest.

 

I have to say, at the start I really struggled, seemed like it was going to be a bit to heavy for me but it totally came through, love Harrys characterisation

Looking forward to the next chap

4/5

 

I must admit that I missed that particular subtlety.

Let me revise then: Why not, after the first suspiciously violent death, have the remaining members resign for a while? It doesn't prevent all deaths, (and thus the search for the killer is necessary), but it at least minimizes them in the interim, making everything far less urgent.

Devils advocate at this point. The 'around' was enough for me.



-

 

Updated!

And holy shit, Heather! Thats awesome. I cant wait for Rupert to die! ^_^

I love what you did with Lovecraft too. ^_^

 

Meeh. Too short But great nontheless. Next time moar of Harry's humor please?

 

Because the evil we are talking about here is not going to care about technicalities. Granted, the Order doesn't know that, but they also believe that the killer has been taken care of each time ... they were wrong.


@Xanatos - Thanks for holding on. My opening chapter is usually my worst in every story. So if you can make it through that then everything else is usually good.

@Vash - Well I can't tell you about Rupert as of yet, but you can expect lots of creepy fight scenes in the future. I'm going more for the "BAMB ... well that didn't work ... BAMB ... eeewww that's gross! ... BAMB ... how is this fucker still alive ... BAMB ... Harry, could you please let go of my breast ... BAMB"

@eXcalite - Harry's blood sugar is just too low -- well, that and there was just too much info dumping in chap 3, humor will return fairly early in chap 4. I'm also trying to keep the chapters between 4-5k as to make updates more frequent. I learned that lesson with ULFD. I always wind up rewriting the monster chapters 5-6 times.

I'm already about 1/3 of the way through with chap 4 so it should be out before the weekend, maybe sooner if my inspiration continues.

 

Updated and I have to say...

XD Gods. I loved that chapter. That was awesome, seriously so. I lol'd out loud once or twice, but that may be the Painkiller High I'm on at the moment.

Very well done, though. I thought you did an excellent job with the fight and its nice to see Harry as chipper as ever. Quickly become a favorite story of mine.

The creature was interesting as hell too. Nice little backstory to go with it. I confess to knowing dick all about Lovecraft though so I have no idea if they're all yours or if its a half and half deal. Still, pwnt.

 

I think my head is swelling from all the praise you give me, Vash. ANd since I'm a girl there should be no swelling heads ... (shudder). BTW GO PAINKILLERS!!! Woo Hoo!!

I also know ... dick all.. about Lovecraft except for the campy stuff from the Evil Dead movies... GO ASH! "Cast a Deadly Spell" etc.

But I my psycho brother gave me "Call of Cthulhu" RPG for my birthday last year and I've learned a little through that. I found the hound thorough the game book and did a little research on it. Most of the things I've said are "true" according to the Mythos. I've tweaked it here and there for dramatic effect, though.

Apparently there is an actual book called "The Hound of Tindalos" by Long, I think.

Pic of hound: Though mine has been pimped up a bit to look meaner, bigger, more evile, etc. so this is just their rendition
http://i170.photobucket.com/albums/u272/viceverza1/1144775401_u-Tindalos.jpg



Anyway, now that we know ... maybe... what the killer is, we can get down and dirty. Evil is afoot! WooHoo GO EVIL!!

 

Great...fucking hilarious Did I mention great? This is my favorite Harry right now. And I knew that line would find it's way into your sig.

P.S. Just noticed that this is in the Dark Arts. I always though only dark Harry gets posted here?

edit: I was wondering..how do these hounds become aware of the Order members they are supposed to kill every seventy years?

 

I hope that I will continue to provide quality entertainment!

Dark Arts - Well, it is a 'dark' Horror story, so I suppose it would fit better there than any other place. Maybe General, but that is such a lame catagory. I much perfer something that is actually labeled. It's easier to refer to when you don't know what you want to read.

How do the hounds know? Now that would be telling, and one of the major plot points of the story, so I can't reveal that as of yet. Sorry, baby. Although I can tell you 'some' of the clues have already been revealed in relation to the hounds. You can do a Wiki search on them and find out some of the mythos, but it's not a very good article and displays almost none of the horror of the creature.

I promise I won't pull the reason out of my ass at the very end just to close the plot point. There will be clues along the way.

 

You just had to throw in that bit about pegging, eh?

*edit*
Adding a bit more to my post...

I know next to nothing about the lore that you are using in the story. How much of the story is based in actual lore and legends... If that made any sense at all

I must say that I am enjoying it nonetheless. I keep waiting for the next update to come...