you know, you are arguing in circles. The reason why Taure insists that you do not take criticism well is that very little changes in your story.
It is your right as an author to write in whatever way you see fit, but if you want to be known as an author who reacts to feedback you need to actually change according to the feedback.
One good example of that is canoncansodoff, when he posts a story it isn't truly done, he'll listen to feedback and change some parts if he sees that what he has posted isn't appreciated.

Of course you could take that as a sign of weakness and call him a pushover.

You on the other hand, do not accept criticism, you defend your point of view if it applies but you do not change the aspects which annoy people in later chapters.

Personally i like this story, but i must admit i do not take it seriously. I view it as a strange mix of parody and action and enjoy it in that way. If that was your goal well done.

tl;dr : Wether you want to accept criticism or not is your right as an author. You can say: "this is my story and it goes like this" and none of us can force you to change, but if you do that we can and will mock and criticise for the next 25 chapters as well. Because that is our right as readers

 

This is something you say repeatedly, and that's what I understand as not reponding well to criticism. There are some weak elements of the story or the writing that are easy to change, which I doubt you have.

P.S. I'm still interested as to why Dumbledore doesn't seem worried about the real Moody.

 

Dumbledore is doing this for the "greater good". He doesn't want to risk checking the real Moody because he risks the chance of fake Moody figuring out that someone is catching onto his ploy. For all Dumbledore knows the real Moody could already be dead.

 

Okay I suppose I deserve that, goes to show what happens when you don't thoroughly read instructions...but I did put up an intro like I was expected to.

Moving along...

Thanks for addressing my concerns of certain characters being a bit static. It's good to know that Sirius won't just stay the way he is (we already know Harry will change eventually...I just hope Lily waking up won't be the first instance of it). I would imagine he'll change a bit when he decides to stop hiding out at Moony Nights & rejoin the world. As long as I know change is coming, that's fine by me.

 

Grow a pair? I'm not the one that acts like someone pissed in their cheerios every time someone doesn't like what I've written.

There is no debate to be had here, you don't respond to criticism and reviewing your story is utterly pointless. I quit reading after you got all pissy when I left a review.

I'll tell you where it's going, retarded shit like Harry hacking government satellites with a mac book is going to keep happening because you think it's cool. Where would he pick this talent up?

Harry is so powerful that you will have to augment his enemies, if you can pull it off like Shezza has, great, if you can't and just have them be more powerful that's just bad writing.

I guess people enjoy reading about completely unlikable protagonists with no flaws. I'm actually pretty impressed that you managed to do that.

 

I've got to agree, even though you said the modernization served a purpose, we could definitely do without it. The way Apple Computers, pop music & other current things turn up in this story...it's almost like you're getting sponsorship dollars for inserting these products into your story or something.

In the grand scheme of things when a story is usually irrelevant, but the insertion of modern technology & pop culture was just a recipe for disaster. If Harry plays the guitar because Lily plays the guitar, fine...but is it really important that he plays Hotel California or whatever? And with the technology, that was just brought on way too easily. Not being able to use their technological comforts seems to have been a problem that has plagued Muggle-born students, forever...and then one day Harry has randomly figured out a way to stop magic from interfering with technology? That would be a huge breakthrough in the wizarding world, even given the prejudice towards Muggles. Gringotts goblins would absolutely love computers, and even cell phones might take off eventually...they would just be too convenient for wizards to ignore.

Basically it was just a huge breakthrough that you just threw out there as a way to further prove Harry's brilliance that flopped.

If Dumbledore can find Horcruxes the old fashoined way (pulling memories out of people's minds via Legilimency & then searching for locations manually) then Harry can do it without hacking into government satelites on his iBook.

 

I will try to explain the problem we are talking about, the one the author appears to misunderstand.

The idea of using satellite imagery and the knowledge that some areas are hidden with magic to find those areas, by being the first to both know about satellite imagery and large magically hidden areas is plausible. I suppose some muggleborn should have thought about it a generation before, but it's still plausible that Harry is the first to think about it.
Then you can say that he managed to get a computer working in a Faraday cage and used publicly accessible data like Google Earth or whatever. That would have been novel (to me, at least) and interesting.
But instead Harry has somehow hacked military systems (dude, you can hack a pentagon official's p2p application to steal stuff he took home from the office, but the system that actually controls what keyhole satellites look at is not connected to the internet, for crying out loud!) and solved the problems of merging magic and technology. Apparently he did all that in a weekend.
Way over the top, without any reason. Not cool.

The author can decide that the protagonist is a child prodigy who is growing up to be a genius. That's ok. But gifted individuals do not revolutionize whole fields of study without spending a lot of time. Very few received two Nobel prizes, you know.
Basically, if it takes Harry years and years to heal his mother, it should take him years and years to do other heretofore impossible things.

It seems to me those "cool" things you have Harry offhandedly do are like stock characters in action movies. Because they are not the hero's main quest, they are very easy for him to do. He can probably cure AIDS and cancer and the flu in a weekend, because that is not what the story is about. Seems very imbalanced and strains credibility beyond breaking point.

Now that he has that sword (I forget, was it a katana?), the only thing he is missing is giant robots. Yes, I fully expect Harry to ride a humanoid something as tall as the empire state building. In this story it wouldn't be out of place. Do you see how fucked up that is?

 

It is a straight saber.

 

Not really, since that's the whole purpose of leaving a review. Constructive criticism.

That's assuming that Harry isn't just going to wtfpwn everyone.

 

At the very least that would be somewhat amusing to read. But hacking military satellites from an inn is just over doing it. I would like to think that the muggle British government protects their data a bit better than that. Because as someone else pointed out the damn things aren't even connected to the internet, Harry's gonna have to break into the facility controling those satellites to have even a chance of getting those pictures. Unless some witless high-up government official gave him a live feed, but no one's that dumb right?

 

Loooooool.

Considering recent events, this had me cracking up. Literally laughing out loud

 

I really dislike stories where the author just changes things, like setting and date etc, just for convenience. The author, SerpentS/Fettucini (sounds like a pasta, truthfully) whatever he goes by, really irked me in that aspect. I could handle his age change, but moving the story to 2007/8 so he could incorporate Macs for the sole purpose of, unrealistically, hacking a satellite? Bleh...

Though, I do enjoy Fleur's characterization, where she is actually completely up herself, not misunderstood or shy. Come on, if you were part Veela, you'd be a bit egotistical too.

3.5/5

 

I'm still wondering about Harry's Oedipus Complex. He's all butthurt with guilt over putting his mother in a coma, but not a tear is shed for his father who died. No visiting his grave. No exposing people's undergarments to feel closer to the old man. Nadda. Are Harry and Lily going to start a romantic relationship after she wakes up?

 

Someone get this bitch an apron and a cookbook please.

And guys, quit putting on the holier than thou attitude trying to explain to the author what he doesn't understand. He gets it. He understands. He's just a stubborn prick set in his ways with little interest in improving his writing by understanding his audience. Nothing wrong with that.

Not everyone is writing specifically to appeal to the DLP audience. Some people have to write the cliched crap that makes the pre-teen girls squee with the coolest tech toys for the uber-haxoring wizard and the greatest classic rock love ballads that get panties soggy. Obviously MrJoe isn't concerned with comparisons to the stories where Harry and Draco start a band called 'Linkin Park' because well, it's the Eagles in this fic, so it's way different. He doesn't mind that many of us see his use of swords as nothing more than children playing with their metaphorical penises and one of the seven signs of impending shitfic. If he wants to include the most basic standard, contrite attitudes for cliched vampires, it's his right. He's the author.

So don't waste your breath telling him the same things others have said countless times in this thread already. If the author wants to include every damn "cool" thing he can think of spending over 300,000 words before even getting to the Voldemort plot, then he will. But if he's got to keep coming back to this thread to tell you all to fuck off, then that's digging into time that could be spent writing.

And I'm one of the ones enjoying the fic, so quit distracting the arrogant little prick by whining about issues beaten to death about 300 posts ago in this thread. To paraphrase the Wolf, pretty please, with sugar on top, shut the fuck up.

 

For an intellectual in a serious college program, you seem a bit too eager to make 'sexyandcocky!americanHSjock! Harry'. I like some of the story, but I don't see the need to repeatedly drive in the point that Harry is quick with sex jokes. It dumbs down the story, which is a shame because this had potential to be a mature, intelligent story. Actually, i think that a fair portion of the story is quite well thoughtout and intelligent. It just seems that you feel the need to either cater to a type of reader who will rofl@Harry talking about buttsecks... or you just are enraptured with high status Harry combined with Harry who is über sauve.

Just my two cents. It seems you are torn between ravenclaw potter, Captain Jack Potter, and hilariously cool Potter.

 

Man, there are some harsh people reviewing this fic. HP/FD isn't new but it also isn't something I go for. Howver, this story had lots of OCs that were pleasantly characterized to fit in with our new-and-improved Harry who has dedicated himself to retrieving his mother's mind from her 'comatose corpse' or whatever.

There was a nice blend of humor mixed in with the occasional pointless piece or even a Kick-in-the-balls for our dear Stephypoo-lover.

Altogether, I give it a 9/10. I cant wait till its finished, and it is soemthing I can go back and happily read when I need something to enjoy.

 

Is it bad that I took this to mean "pasta" as in "copypasta" until nonjon mentioned an apron and cookbook?

 

I want to see this list.

 

http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=8086

 

Ten bucks says MrFetucinni won't be able to resist, and responds to Nonjon's subtle digs.