ReadCon recently began a consistant segment on their site (last updated: years ago/link to interview with Jbern) in which they sat down, face to face and interviewed top-notch authors. We at DLP saw the challenge and answered, with a scintillating drilling of local hero and German, Shezza Schweinsteiger.

General Information:
Aliases: Shezza, Demon God of Chaos
Random URLs: Fanfiction Account, Denarian Renegade, The Denarian Knight, The Denarian Lord.
Picture:

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I sat down with the "Berliner" earlier this evening.

BioPlague: Shezza.

Shezza: Hey BP ^_^.

BioPlague: First question. And I'm not letting you off the hook. What happened in your life that made you decide - "Hey, you know what? I'm going to finally complete one of these fucking stories?"

Shezza: Lol. Determination And to say "fuck you" to Xiph0. Xiph0 kept hounding me that I never finished a story.

BioPlague [begins trying to read Cell Block 4d; can't find it]: Shezza. Cell Block 4D. Where is it? Interview is still going, by the way.

Shezza: It's on my Yahoo group.

BioPlague: Can you give me a link?

Shezza: Sure.

Fuegodsomething: What compelled you to include hallways filled with shit in your previous story?

Syaoran: He was stoned.

BioPlague: Hey. Only me ask questions. I'm the interviewer.

Syaoran: Maybe. DRUNK! High on GLUE! Not enough SLEEP!

Shezza: What?

Syaoran: Post all your old stories on PC, that would be awesome.

[Hint for the readers out there: that means Shezza uses a mac.]

Shezza: Hmm... Not a bad idea.

BioPlague: Wait. Where is that link?

Shezza: I'm looking for it And here it is: A Link to Awesomeness

BioPlague: Shezza: What do you think of JoeHundredaire?

Darius: Who was actually passing you #pirates logs?

BioPlague: No one. I just made that up in the vague hopes of causing their asses to clench. Somewhere along the line, Dwitbal decided to be a hero.

Shezza: Who?

BioPlague, others: Rofl.

BioPlague: The guy who reported your first fic. And got trashed. The Future Remapped, Again and Again and Again. You know. The first fic you wrote?

Shezza: Huh?

BioPlague: Yeah, I'd try to forget anything associated with that story too. Hey. Didn't he join the forums?

DarkSyaoran: Owned. Don't you remember?

Shezza: Not really.

[The German tried to forget and evade the question. But I remained persistent.]

BioPlague: That fucking time-turner story. The one where they go into the chamber of secrets.

Mr.Fuegorilla: I LUUUUUURVED THAT STORY.

BioPlague: And do a ritual. LOL.

Jeram: Wow. That's ancient history. Damn.

[Kind of like the holocaust should be but unfortunately do to American Lobbyists like AIPAC... oh. Yeah. The interview.]

Syaoran: I remember reading Ancardia. Holy fuck.

Shezza, BioPlague: LOL.

BioPlague: Anyway. A ritual.

Syaoran: And insane.

Shezza: Old stories are old.

BioPlague: OMG.

Shezza: It was cool back in 2005.

[Not really]

Mr.Fuegodwhatthefuckistheotherpartofthisname: God, at the time.

BioPlague: Didn't Harry turn into Kurama from Yu-Gi-Oh or something?

Shezza:

Syaoran: Cell block was the best.

[Hell yes it was. I began reading it.]

BioPlague: Lol. Harry turned into a fag with tattoos. Oh God. That story. Future Remapped XD.

Syaoran: I so wanted him to fuck her [Blaise Zabini, a black male]. Hard.

BioPlague: Anyway, I'm putting down internet hero for that JoeHundredaire question up there. For your answer. Ok. Next. Didn't you do a story? Where Harry had to fuck his mom? His dead mom?

Shezza: Lol.

BioPlague: Ok. Maybe I'm mixing Vash up with Shezza.

Shezza: Yeah. It was a response to a challenge. Dropped it .

BioPlague: Yeah. Ok. Lets move onto some more serious and more relevant questions. With DLP lagging in second place behind ReadCon in viewership, members and page hits, we're wondering: How do you feel about being an inferior writer in comparison to Jbern?

MrWhattheFuckGodesomethingsomething: Hah. Demon God of Chaos did a Harry/dead!James. I remember that.

BioPlague: Do you lament not having a book deal?

Shezza: I dunno. I try. I really try to overcome my inferiority.

BioPlague: I heard Abraxan turned you down.

Shezza: Maybe I should just give in and suck Jbern's cock like everyone else.

Everyone: LOL.

Shezza: He [Abraxan] did.

BioPlague: Abraxan's a girl. Hard to tell. Looks kind of like a small planet. Or a whale. Or maybe a Plutoid? Can you believe they removed Pluto from planet status? Fuck. Anyway.

Kmfrank: I think Kinsfire should write a book.

*Kmfrank has been permanently banned from #darklordpotter

Shezza: Yeah. I didn't meet the standards they set.

Darius: "Giovanni> While I am not in favor of banning some of these members, I am in favor of Raven making some concessions to the 'Old DLP' crowd as a way to demonstrate the veracity of his apology."

[Yeah, he's not gay.]

BioPlague: Abraxan looks like a wooly mammoth. I think she actually tried to dress up for that picture. She has makeup on.

A picture of Abraxan in her natural element: stealing glances at a Milky Way.​

Jeram: KINFANFICTION

BioPlague: Ok Shezza. Why don't you write Harry Potter stories anymore?

Shezza: Straight HP stories are boring.

Jeram: HA!

[Jeram found some gold.]

Shezza: Resistance of Azkaban was my last.

BioPlague: Wow. Sounds original.

Shezza: Well, there is a sequel -

BioPlague: We're moving on. Anyway. Don't you have a membership at ReadCon?

Syaoran: Resistance of Azkaban was my least favorite. It's probably better than Arcania.

BioPlague: Arcania? Arcadia.

Shezza: Yeah, probably.

BioPlague: DREAMFALL!

Shezza: It's actually "Ancardia".

BioPlague: Arcadia. Sure. ZOE!

Vash: Farscape/HP

Shezza: Spell it right, SHEEPMAN!

Vash Finish it.

Syaoran: FUCK YEAH! [he screams]

BioPlague: Getting back on topic. Hm. Anyway. Weren't you one of their authors? ReadCon's that is. With a special forum? Like Tinn's?

Shezza: Yeah. I was going to use it. But I'm too damn lazy to upload it in two places. And I was at DLP first.

BioPlague: Do you think Yarrgh enjoys cumswapping?

Syaoran: LOL. Shezza: You should do the Farscape story when you have writer's block.

BioPlague: LOL.

Shezza: Who's Yarrgh?

BioPlague, Others: LOL.

Jeram: I think that's an easy question.

MrOtterPopsFuegezuswhatshisname [wow, aren't they fucking awesome? 100 otter pops for 3.95? Jesus.]: C'mon. Cooperate.

BioPlague: Please. This interview is serious. Everyone. DLP has a reputation to maintain. So. Are you one of those fags who worships Tinn?

Shezza: [pause]

BioPlague: YOU DONT KNOW WHO TINN IS?

Shezza: Nah. Just fucking with you. I don't like her story much.

[I finally realize what the fuck that farscape shit is about five minutes later]

BioPlague: HEY. Isn't that the one with Luna in it? And a fucking spaceship?

Shezza: ...Yes.

BioPlague: But have you read Marie-Antoniette? She may look like a dog. But I haven't seen a dog type like that.

Shezza: I haven't read it.

Syaoran: What story is that? Is it even HP?

BioPlague: James... something story. Yeah it is.

Syaoran: Oh fuck that.

BioPlague: Didn't she make another one? Symphony of Quarter? LOL. QUARTER!? Quartet!

MrFlipflop: I was going to say....

Shezza: So are we done?

BioPlague: So Shezza. Do you have any plans to write a story?

Jangel: <Yarrgh> The thing with Bio is...

Jangel: <Yarrgh> that he jut straight up pisses me off.

Jangel: <Yarrgh> And the problem is that he gets excited by doing that

Shezza: ...You mean apart from the one's I've been writing now?

BioPlague: Wait. You've been writing?

Shezza: Yep.

Vash: Yeah. Marie-Antoinette is the name of James' OC wife in that story iirc. Vold won and forced all the muggleborns into a village without a wand. Forced James and Lily to seperate.

BioPlague: I thought you were retired.

Shezza: Two books of a trilogy. The Denarian series?

BioPlague: Ah yes. Now I recall [what?]. A trilogy.

Shezza: Denarian Renegade and Denarian Knight are done. 200k Words a piece.

BioPlague: What's next?

Shezza: Denarian Lord.

Jeram: And then?

BioPlague: Yeah?

Shezza: Which I've plotted... most of... it's a trilogy.

Jangel: "<Yarrgh> Calling his wife a whore, suggesting that Kinsfire has to try to rape her for her to get off, saying that she needs to get raped again...that shit is just wrong." ROFL. What a cry baby bitch.

Jeram: And after that?

BioPlague: What's the fourth story titled?

Shezza: That's it. Trilogy means 3.

BioPlague: Trilogy is 4.

Jangel: ....

Shezza: 3.

Jeram: What's the fifth one?

BioPlague: Tri means Spanish for 'Four'

Jeram: Bio's a native speaker. From Nicuragua.

BioPlague: What? I'm from England.

Jangel: LOL.

[I let Shezza off easy on the trilogy thing. I trust a Jew to count correctly but time is running short.]

BioPlague: Anyway. Denarian Lord. Tell us what happened in the last two stories. In one or two sentences.

Shezza: Go read it, bludger.

BioPlague: Yes. But what about all the people who don't want to? Cliff notes edition please.

Shezza: Harry finds a coin with a Fallen Angel in it. Voldemort comes back. They duel and try to kill each other, while Harry tries to kill other Fallen Angels. You know, it sounds really crappy that way.

BioPlague: Funny how that works.

Mr'Falopian-Tube': Any summary goodness for 3?

Shezza: Well. Dumbledore will hire Harry to kill Death Eaters. Meciel wants Harry to kill three more Denarians who really pissed her off. Maeve is a bitch.

Syaoran: Meciel dies. [cums]

Shezza: Pfft.

BioPlague: Oh! Is this one of those stories like the ones Darius masturbates to? Where everyone is renamed? Is Meciel Hermione?

Syaoran: No.

Shezza: It's a crossover. But more to the Harry Potter side.

Syaoran: READ IT.

BioPlague: Right. Anyway. Final question. Feartheturtle. Great admin? Or Greatest Admin?

Shezza: Who the hell is feattheturtle?

Syaoran: FAIL ADMIN.

BioPlague: I'll put you down for 'Great'.

That's a wrap folks. Make sure to catch Shezza in action when his new Comedic Romance, Denarian Lord, hits DLP and PatronusCharm. For DLP, I'm BioPlague. Good night and good luck. Well, actually. He released it just today, so go ahead and read it here:

THE DENARIAN LORD

 

I lol'd.

filler

 

Well done.

 

All Shezza's old stuff (Cell Block 4D, Future Remapped, etc, etc) will be exclusively on PatronusCharm.net. Give it a whirl. Cell Block 4D seriously is hilarious.

I still think it's my favorite work of his.

 

HAHAHAHA

Awesome Bio.

 

I checked the Yahoo Group, but I don't see Cell Block 4D over there. =/

I suppose it'll be up on PatronusCharm soon enough. I look forward to reading it.

 

Cell Block 4D is also known as Revelations. And Merrill's right. It's fucking awesome.

Also, I lol'd.

 

Pretty amusing. I laughed out loud a couple times. Nice job. Was this a one time thing or are you guy going to keep doing this?

 

Lol at the random mentions of Dreamfall and Zoe (win in themselves) and Farscape. And damn, I do want to see more of that Farscape story!

Will read the other stories when I find the time.

 

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

It's a shame we don't have the Rep system anymore.

Well played, Bio.

Well played...

 

Wait, what?

 

Despite the lulz of the rest of the post I remain unamused.

Also, well done, Bio.

 

Haha, glad to have gotten a mention in this epic post, Bio

 

*Fukken Rolls*

JEWGOLD HAS BEEN FOUND! XD

 

hahaha! Shezza did mention last night that Bio was asking weird questions in irc. Glad I got to see the lulz.

Very nice, Bio.

 

Cell Block 4D, by Shezza (Revelations)

All his old stuff can now be found on Patronus Charm, exclusively.

 

Oz, I think this was right after you left. Too bad for you!