Update. I gotta say, the new Patil history he's adding to this is really interesting. It looks like he's cracking the past open in all of the DA members in this fic. Can't wait to see more.

 

Oh you bastard.

The Fleur avenue better not be closed.

All in all, a good update. Things happening, well written, long enough to sink ya teeth into. Curious about that mirror, and also about Daphne's behaviour.

I liked the whole Padma-Parvati-Harry argument triangle scene. Thought that was really well written. I've never had the resolve to write arguments like that, and I reckon it was really good.

Looking forward to the next chappie.

-joe

 

You have yet again wrote a very good chapter. I enjoyed the Patil scenes quite a bit as I think it adds a new dynamic to the story, and I am looking forward to seeing Harry with some other girls for a bit as a way for him to gain a bit of experience although I still hope for a final Harry/Fleur pairing. In fact, I enjoyed the gift she gave him as it really adds a new way for him to talk to her while still maintaining a distance because talking through messages like that is always a bit awkward what with no physical reactions to base your conversation on it is hard to tell when you are pushing a bit too far as it were. It would be a shame if Heur wasn't the final ship as you write such lovely scenes between those two characters. I look forward to your next update.

 

Short answer is; no, it isn't. A bit longer answer is; Harry doesn't want to sit around waiting for her when she is, in his mind, happy with Bill. Naturally, his self-worth is still pretty low, though getting better as he succeds in helping his friends - Padma being the most recent example - and Fleur being the older, elegant, graceful 'gal she is, he doesn't like his chances. But it isn't over yet. Not by a long shot.

Besides, would I do that without another on screen appearance from Fleur? I think not. She's too interesting a character to end in this way.

The fight between the Patil sisters was what worried me the most about this chapter. At first the fight felt contrived, like Parvati's motives were there for the sake of creating a rift or there wasn't enough to justify her reactions. Then I made the mistake of having Padma and Parvati explain what they were arguing about in the fight (which ain't cool, as the twins would know what they're arguing about so there isn't any reason to spell it out). After that, I just had to make certain that I didn't make their backstory wasn't too cliche or anything. On the surface it probably isn't the most original idea, but as I plan for the Patil stepmother to make an appearance or three later on, I think it'll become original - or at least interesting - enough. From the response I've gotten about this so far, I'd say I succeded on remedying all three problems.


@ LuxDragon. I do plan to give each of the DA characters some background. Naturally I'll focus on Padma, Daphne, Fleur and Neville more than the rest, them being the main characters and all - aside from Harry and Hermione - but we should have some idea of all of their past by the end of the year, and developed further in the next one.


@ TimeLord. Thanks. You've got my thoughts right on in regards to Fleur's gift.

 

A good addition that kept me interested and entertained. Good work.

 

Fuck Bill Weasley. No one should ever accept second place to a 'ranga.

Still, decent update. Interesting with the Patil Twin tension, but don't take 10 chapters to resolve it (hint fucking hint). Solid writing, 4/5 from me.

 

After reading this chapter, I couldn't help but think "Death Eater sympathizer" when the Patil step-mom was mentioned. I think it would be interesting, down the line, to have DA Padma fight DE Parvati. That would be great.

 

DE Parvati isn't likely. Unless scary is a Savant of writing, something like that would kill the story for me. How could she go from boys and fashion to murder and terrorism? She's hurt, she's angry, but I doubt her female scorn goes that far.

 

Parvati was willing to stand aside as something akin to the Imperious Curse was used on Harry. To me, this is the most blatant acts of evil a person can commit: To say nothing, do nothing, when you have the power to spare someone suffering.

Granted, I'm sure it would take some well-placed manipulations to guide Parvati into that position.

Not that I think she's necessarily going to become a DE, I just think the idea is interesting. I do think it is a possibility though.

 

Indeed, but then - who really understands how women make leaps of logic anyways ?

DE Parvati wouldn't be that much of a stretch; just because she's usually shown as having rather vapid interests, doesn't mean she can't throw down when necessary. Buffy the VampSlayer comes to mind.

 

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Besides, we all know how women get during that time of the month. >_> No telling how far Parvati will go when the time comes.

 

The idea of Padma versing Parvati in an all out duel, and Parvati being a DE, is pretty awesome. Although I don't believe that Parvati would follow the ideals of the Death Eaters, she could be manipulated by Voldemort into attacking Harry and/or Padma for her own reasons. Voldemort just gives her a few pushes in the right direction and gives her the knowledge she needs to defeat Harry and/or Padma. I can see it happening, but geez, it won't/wouldn't be easy to write.

@ JustBlaise. No worries there. I've learnt my lesson. No more ten chapter resolutions like the other thing. Well, except for the main storyline, of course.

 

I like this fic so far, despite some of its shortcomings.

Harry's reaction to Ginny forcing him to love her was, in my opinion, rather lame. Even if Harry doesn't want to destroy her life he should have done SOMETHING other than just letting it slide.

As for the possible pairing, I'm not particularly fond of Hermione but...
* Paimon prays for delicious HEUR.


Although Padma or Daphne wouldn't be too bad, either.

3.833/5

 

New update: http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/65/21/

Awesome stuff.

Been waiting for my fix.

A nice transition chapter here into the next semester, and some awesome Harry/Daphne interaction. I don't know what it is about your story, dude, but I want Harry to hook up with everyone all the time. I've no such trouble in other fics, except this one the characters are very well developed. I think that's it - character development. I was all up in arms about the seeming end of Harry/Fleur shenanigans, yet I was just as eager this chapter around for him to make a move on Daphne.

Apart from the relationship side of things, the Minister conversation was very well written, I thought. Taken a few cues from canon, yet added more - in part thanks to Daphne - but more on Harry's own merit.

I expect fast and swift retribution against Malfoy + goons. That turd better get what's coming to him.

Two weeks, you say? Fingers crossed. I keep getting raped by uni assignments, too, so no pressure.

Cheers.

 

It definitely sounds like this is going to pick up its pace again. Can't wait for the changes to canon to start flooding in.

 

Really nice update. And to agree with Joe, it isn't often that I want Harry to go the distance with Fleur at one point, then Padma Patil at another, and then Daphne Greengrass (especially in the Hospital Wing). I'd actually prefer Daphne to Fleur or Padma at this point.

I liked the bit with Scrimgeour, too. Similar to canon, yet different enough to give us a slightly different impression of the man. Your Scrimgeour has his own ideas on how to spin the war, but doesn't seem adverse to good advice. It'll be interesting to see if that actually goes anywhere in the future.

And while swift retribution against Malfoy would be enjoyable...I think I like the added value patience lends to Harry's character. So while I want the fallout to be impressive, I'd rather see it happen naturally than swiftly.

Looking forward to the next chapter, scary. I'm enjoying this...perhaps too much.

 

While I'm still holding out for a Padma connection, I'll admit recent developments are making Daphne out to be intriguing, interesting. I would also not rail against a Hufflepuff three-way. In any fashion at all.

Interesting news that the second semester will only take four chapters. Very different to what had preceded, but why drag one's feet if the major events are spaced out.

Well done, I look forward to the next chapter.

 

Ah, an update! An excellent chapter, I certainly enjoyed the interaction with Scrimgeour and Daphne. And I agree with previous posters, this is just about the only story where I kind of want Harry to hook up with several different girls. I don't know if I want you to go with Heur, Harry/Padma or Harry/Daphne goodness. I look forward to your next chapter, and hope it comes soon.

 

Bravo Sir, Bravo.

There really is not all that much that I can add to what has already been said about your writing and characterization so I'll just say 'ditto' to all that has been said. You've done what almost no one else has managed to do in this genre, create a believable, likable, character driven story.

 

I was going to bitch about Dumbledore not caring about students being brutally assaulted. But then I remembered he didn't do anything when Katie Bell (should have) died due to Malfoy's scheme. So I guess even canon Dumbledore was willing to let people die so Malfoy didn't get in trouble with Voldemort.

It was a good update but rather slow. Hopefully things are being set up for some real action soon - this fic's main problem is still a lack of movement in the war.