Regarding "epigraphs":

It's a "eh it's none of my business, but..." relationship for me.

On one hand, it fits Harry's character, I think, for him to be overly pensive. He's living in the same world as everyone else, but his mind is far away, separated by thousands of years... he has to retreat into himself, it's the only way to organize his thoughts.

Could this be done without the epigraphs? Sure. But then it wouldn't be your story.

As for a technical criticism, I think it'd be better if you didn't address the reader when doing those epigraphs (you). That irks me (breaks the 4th... and it makes Harry preachy).

And "epigraphs", starting with you? Please. Go read Moby Dick, if anything, Melville's the one who started it. Except his are chapters long. Makes the book bloody unbearable to read.

Which is the crucial point. Would the Wastelands of Time be better or worse without the epigraphs? On one hand, it makes the story more compact and I think, more vivid in the reader's inner eye. But on the other hand, your epigraphs make Harry seem more personal and down to earth (because his thoughts are laid out for us). To remove them and otherwise make Harry's thoughts subtle or explained through dialogue, would make him enigmatic. Out of touch with the reader.

It's up to you.

But personally, if I were writing like you, I'd have made Harry mad, that way, his epigraphs would be a little less straight forward (the reader trying to figure out Harry's drives and meaning would probably be more effective for maintaining their attention).

 

It seems impossible to give this story anything but full marks. It is too well written, too innovative, too engaging for anything else. The problem is that it might just be too, well too, for me. I have caught up to the latest chapter and feel drained. You do so many things well that I appreciate and look for. Your descriptions are vivid without being overly detailed and you don’t get bogged down by technicalities.

I think I know why I found your story so exhausting. It reminds me of the Wheel of Time and my subconscious is trying to protect me. Both feature inconceivably powerful protagonist that carry the weight of everything on their shoulders. Both are aware of their steadily approaching expiration dates, and both are fated to fight battles against the gods and those who might as well be gods. By the time the Wheel of Time stopped being engaging and started to be weighed down by minutiae I had already invested way too much time.

You don’t seem to have a problem writing really long stories. Really long stories with really long sequels. I feel that if I don’t bow out now I will be held hostage by your writing for a very long time. If only I had the energy, eh? Still, obviously, five points out of five. I just hope you won’t mind if I send them by tropical bird instead of handing them over personally. Gravity of your literary prowess and all that. Don’t want to get caught.

 

Joe deserves a medal for this masterpiece.

 

I see what you're saying, dude, and yeah, it hedges straight into epic territory. Thanks for the top marks - and welcome to DLP - stick with Wastelands because some pretty hawt stuff is coming up soon, this I promise.

Heh, medals can wait - this story isn't settled yet, and I could easily fuck it up. Man, I could so easily fuck it up.

 

Yeah, joe, you could, but your fuckups would still be better than 99% of the rest of the crap posted on FF.net...combined.

 

Someone get this guy a medal.

 

CHAPTER 10 RELEASED!

Hey folks,

Just updated the story with the latest chapter.

As per usual, it can be find here and there:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4068153/11/Harry_Potter_and_the_Wastelands_of_Time

And good ol' PC:

http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/76/11/

Thanks for reading, let me know how you find it,

~~Joe

 

5/5 Full marks from me, I love it.

Keep going in the direction that your already in.

 

What? This story hasn't even mentioned any other characters that were protagonists in canon. Can't really see why Time-Warrior Harry would seek them out, in any event.

Anyway...

While the bone-man seemed rather...unexciting in the fairy tale, in this chapter it emerges as a really well-thought out, and menacing, adversary. It like how it's unnaturalness was emphasized, as to re-enforce that whatever image our mind is getting, it's not clear enough to get around the scope of something outside our understanding. It's method of arrival reminded me of the War of the Worlds remake.

Interesting it looks at Fleur first. Very much so.

Nice little fight with the bone-man you have here. The explanation of why it was immune to dragon-fire was a nice touch. To be fair, Harry did use another spell against it, that had the effect of knocking it over. So, I guess it's not just fire that works.

It seems Atlantean ancient runes are very useful.

Harry's elimination method of the Bone-Man was fantastic.

This Chronos character seemed to rather come from left-field, but it does make sense in the larger tapestry of the story, it would seem. It does bother me, though, that Chronos seems to speak plainly, as in he isn't intent on deceiving Harry. He will help him when it lies with his interests. However, Chronos speaks of himself as the opposite, or aligned to Saturnia. If he seeks both his salvation and ruination, what possible goal could a being of Saturnia hope to favor from not helping Harry at all?

Interesting, Fleur coming along. Rather a logical decision, considering there have already been attempts on her life. One must question, though: Is Harry being coerced into bringing her? Wouldn't really matter, I don't think Fleur would willingly let him out of her sight anymore.

Great chapter, keep up the great work, you bastard!

 

Joe old chap, you've truly out-fucking-done yourself.

I'll admit, I was somewhat disappointed with the previous chapter, it just seemed to be Harry making somewhat random comments to Fleur and pals, without any sense of the danger (as it were) lurking behind Harry's charming facade.

Oh how infinitely better this chapter was. This chapter is the embodiment of all the qualities the fic possesses that got me reading it in the first place: Awesome and slightly deranged hero, brilliant fights, interesting new ideas (which in fanfiction should earn the author some kind of medal) and the pièce de résistance, a gripping stand-off with a genuinely intriguing villain (which I presume Chronos will remain to Harry, as throwing you a big minute hand doesn't really make-up for threatening your hot blond love-interest).

So then, this is the right stuff I want to see more of. Every time I see some of Harry's awesome new/old skills I can't but help think of how awesome the return to Hogwarts is going to be.

On a side note, will Fleur become somewhat more competent at helping Harry out? I can understand the shock facing the bone-man would have engendered, but I couldn't help think that Tonks might have been slightly more useful to him in that scrap (which is an odd feeling for an assuredly Harry/Fleur fan).

So, score wise, definite 5/5. Or should that be 6/5? Nah, I'm sure you get the gist.

You did good.

 

This is without a doubt the best time traveling story I've ever read. The whole quest for Atlantis made me a little skeptical but it's done in a new and interesting way. I think this is one of the best things to happen to the world of fanfiction as a whole, and I bet in a year there will be another 1,000 stories trying to copy this masterpiece. 5/5

 

Chapter 11 Uploaded

God, I hope not. Thanks for the top marks, dude.

Here we go, folks, not as long as usual but still a hefty 8,000 words:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4068153/...elands_of_Time

And good ol' PC:

http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/76/12/

Enjoy - or not - review either way.

Thanks, team.

 

You done good.

I like that Fleur realizes the gravity of what just hanging around Harry entails (as much as she can without knowing the whole Time Warrior shtick, anyway). I also think you might have coined a new term: 'Demons and death threats, assassination and time travel. This is a true Harry Potter adventure, now!' And something tells me that not taking along his new sword is going to bite Harry in the ass sometime down the road.

I'm looking forward to the American leg of the Harry Potter adventure greatly.

 

Well! I spent most of last night marathoning this fic, and all I can say is fuck yes!

One of my biggest issues with HP Time Travel is that so many people do the exact same gods damned plot over and over and over and over again. Your fic kicks this cliche in the teeth.

Is the quote in your sig from a future chapter or did I miss that one?

 

Joe said it's from a scene near the end of the fic, from memory.

On topic; I enjoyed the chapter quite a bit. Your Harry and Fleur interaction is pretty top notch for your characterisations. The only complaint I can muster is that, considering the pace of earlier chapters, this and the last chapter were somewhat slow. However, the ending gives me the impression things are to get nuts again quite soon.

 

Yeah, me too. I've got a few rough sketches for America - most of them involving Harry/Fleur and the re-introduction of a few characters, as for the most part this is Harry+Fleur+OCs. It needs more Harry Potter before it spirals away into something else.

Yep its from a future chapter, one near the very end of Wastelands.

Aye, I agree, the pace has slowed. We're 100,000 words into the story and only three days have gone by - things will speed up once Harry gets the band back together.

 

Does that mean Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Nevile or Luna? "Prays Not" [Yeah I hate them characters]

The story is good so far, I just didn't want to stop reading it even when it got a little slow paced(only a tiny bit) This is the best time travel story I read.

Also Harry/Fleur interaction was(is) great. I wonder how/when you will
reintroduce Tonks back in

 

Maybe by band he means he'll finally bring Tonks back in. Still, he does need to mention them at some point, if for no other reason than to kill them off.(puppy eyes)

 

Maybe he doesn't.

Maybe by band he means Pink Floyd.

 

I get the impression that all the other times it has been either Fleur or Tonks not both. Maybe that will make all the difference in Atlantis.