Fucking lol XD

But, sadly, I've noticed something.

Harry in this book is exactly like a super-powered naruto and Dumbledore is like the Hokage. The 'old man' set it off for me.

...damn

SHEEEEEEEEEEEEZA

 

Darius! You shame me!

Although, I suppose the old man comment is a carry-over...

But still! Here I was, just about to write, when this comment made me lose my will.

- Goes to fap instead-

 

May all the gods there are and half a dozen I just made up rain curses down upon you Darius!

Good update; it was nice to see Tonks be shell-shocked by the whole torture thing, rather than the cliched "Teh torture is wrong!!!"

 

Too bad that doesn't work with me Shezza?

I know other people see the similarities now.

Shezza = Narutard

 

[FONT=&quot]The rational part of his mind told him that it wasn’t possible for a woman to hold onto his shoulders as he was climbing a set of stairs like this, but Harry promptly told it to shut up Meciel’s manipulation of his perception very rarely concerned itself with the logical, much to Harry’s delight and disappointment.

I'm not sure what you intended, but I believe there should be some punctuation between "'shut up'[and] 'Meciel's'".

Otherwise great segment, although MOAR Amanda.
[/FONT]

 

Scene 3/3 is up. A spell-check would be awesome before morning, so I could post it before I go to uni. As per Darius request, this scene is full of Narutard material and I'll eventually be making this HP/DF/Naruto crossover where Meciel is the daughter of Kyuubi or something.

Because I can

 

Great update, but, as always, way too short
Will we see Amanda as frequently this time around, too?
I can't wait for next chapter!

 

Minor note: As it is now presumably 1996, Czechoslovakia no longer exists, and hasn't for some time.

 

Meciel doesn't have to know that. We can say Harry doesn't pay much attention to politics, and when Meciel parted with previous host Czechoslovakia was still existing country.
This, or Australian Writing Gods don't have to care about such details.

 

Eh, the Chinese really aren't a minority.

 

They are in the UK and the U.S., the two countries in which Harry is based.

 

I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about.

Ahem.

 

Technically, yes - but one assumes that Meciel has made the assumption as to Tessa's location based on a massive room's worth of documents that she read in under a minute. If the papers indicate that that's where Tessa is, then one must assume that the documents of a major weapons dealer/shipping industry are say, not three years out of date.

 

I was going to reply with "lol, fanboy" but this wouldn't be such a bad idea. The reader could use a break from misanthropic Harry and chip-on-her-shoulder Meciel. Innocent Amanda or the other Carpenter's would be a nice change; even the Winter fairies to a degree, though they're pretty manipulative and scheming and therefore not that relaxing to read about.

Does anyone else think that the readers have waited long enough to find out the motives for Meciel's crusade against the other Denarians? It's getting a bit old following her all this way with the slim details given so far.

The earlier stories were pretty intense because Harry was constantly struggling to survive. Now that Harry's become top dog and seems comfortably assured of winning just about any battle he's likely to get involved in, a lot of the suspense that was previously in the story has left. Where is the big bad antagonist here?

 

We're still in the early days of this story. Shezza can be an evil bitch; wait and see what he has in store for Harry.

 

The higher they are, the harder they fall. I suspect that Meciel will be torn away from Harry, a result of the (anti)hero's hubris and the need for the protaganist to shine in his own light, and not as a vessel to another being. Said struggle will lead Harry to a new heights, and whilst redemption might not be entirely possible, a reconcilliation between his two halves...


... MOAR GOAR PLZ.

 

First scene:
I thought this scene was pretty good. I found it a bit jarring at first that Harry flaunted the fact that he had just tortured and killed someone so openly to the order. I mean for all he knows someone might inform the ministry which could lead to all sorts of trouble. Especially with Voldemort spreading around the truth about his true nature. But then I decided that Harry was just being Harry here and ignoring the potential consequences in favor of amusement.

I do approve of the fact that Tonks, while disturbed about the torture, did not go completely to pieces over the matter. I rather enjoy the interactions between Harry and Tonks and I hope that the two will end up working together again on other missions. I will say however that the emotions that Tonks showed here were a bit strange. First she is downcast, then she is sniggering, then depressed again. I think her amused reaction at Harrys antics was a bit too strong considering the situation. I think it would have felt better if instead of actually sniggering out loud, she would merely have shown a weak smile or something. That would have shown that she can still be amused and that she is slowly getting over the whole thing, without actually making the differences between her reactions so jarringly large.

I think that the justification for torture is still quite weak. I was kinda hoping that Dumbledore would fix that by justifying it by explaining to Tonks why legilimency or even the imperius curse (Yet another thing Harry could have used, it apparently worked for Crouch with Moody) could not have been used to extract information from the prisoner. Ohwell.


Second and third scenes:
Was it just me or was there a sort of vibe there about problems in Harry/Meciel relationship? I refer to the fact that Meciel seemed to ignore Harry by saying things like "my quest, my might" which Harry then corrected by including himself. Was this actually supposed to vaguely suggest that Meciel does not really view Harry as an equal partner? Or am I just seeing things that are not there.

The whole Meciel-slideshow thing was cool. It nicely demonstrated that Meciel is not human nor limited to human levels of comprehension.

One final question, Harry uses petrol to burn the place down because he does not want the enemy to "trace his magic". I assume this is also the reason why he killed the two guards with a blade instead of magic. Fair enough, but this leads to the question: what about the huge whirlwhind thing with the papers he just did a few moments earlier. I would expect that that used a lot more magic than summoning a small fire would. Why is he not concerned that that magic will be traced?

Anyway, I look forward to the next weekend and the next chapter. I am assuming that its time for Harry's meeting with Dumbledore? Hopefully we will see other familiar people in Hogwarts too. I for one would like to see more about the reactions that the students have towards Harry after seeing him fully in action in the ministry.

 

Great as always. I would like to see a bit more potter/Dresden interaction though, and potter/Murphy has the potential to be hilarious maybe Dresden could be around when potter kills Tessa. He is familiar with her after all.

 

I really want to highlight this part of Datas review.

I am getting much the same impression, I sort of the get the feeling the interaction between Meciel and Harry is pretty forced at the moment. Kinda feels that she is... distancing herself from him, or preparing for some sort of major shock, which I can't see Shezza writing.

Knowing Shezza, he is going to pull out something exceptionally evil and unexpected for us, so I am not too worried, as he has already stated that 'there will be no redemption or any of that kind of bullshit'.