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Abandoned Technomagus by Esama - K+

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Skeletaure, Sep 4, 2008.

  1. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    I liked it, but I can easily see this becoming really tedious, really quickly. ._. A tentative 4/5 from me for now.
     
  2. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    This has been updated with a chapter of reasonable length. Some progression, but much of the same. Still enjoyable though. the good news is that we're going to skip forward 4 years between this and the next chapter.

    My review:

     
  3. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Indeed.

    :fap
     
  4. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I just read a review there and lol'd:
     
  5. Fimbulvintr

    Fimbulvintr Seventh Year

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    Finally updated. I thought it was a decent chapter, the time skip was tastefully done and a good, plausible reason for Harry to go to Hogwarts.

    I am however, worried about hair bun!Harry. I noticed a fair number of slash fics already posted by the author, and I fear bun!Harry and gold glasses!Harry is a precursor to surprize buttsecks. Has the author said anything about the probability of slash?

    Aside from that, a good chapter, I enjoyed the tales of Harry's success and Hermione getting owned on the intelligence front. A 4/5 from me, unless we get surprize buttsecks.
     
  6. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Lol, I find it more likely that Harry's fashion choices are something to do with the Alterans and will somehow turn into just yet another thing that Harry is superior in. Like, using your wand to hold your hair up gives you Samson-like strength. Or something.

    Anyway, my review of the latest chapter:

     
  7. Under_score

    Under_score Second Year

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    I've enjoyed the story so far. However I'm worried that this could sink really badly.

    "And the fact that his hair was in a bun which he had skewered with his wand…"

    I hate stories that give him long hair mostly because they're a warning for incoming excessive tattooing and earrings found in horrible independent Harry fics.

    This does not look like its heading that way, but it will be hard to see Harry face adversity because he is so advanced. The next challenge for the author is to make Voldemort a realistic enemy for Harry.
     
  8. TehLicha

    TehLicha First Year

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    Well, Harry DID just publish all his findings, so Voldie has access to all the same kickassery that Harry does. Or at least, what he published.
     
  9. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    /me rages.

    Fashion choices aside, the chapter was pretty boring.
     
  10. Anstid

    Anstid Fourth Year DLP Supporter

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    This has been updated.

    I like AU stories to be really Alternate, so while the premise of this story is quite interesting, Harry going back to Hogwarts as an observer to write future books about Wizarding curriculum leaves me feeling kind of meh. I don't really see any need for him to hang around with kids his age when; he clearly doesn't identify with them, he's running the most innovative and wealthy company in the world.

    But the author has stated that he wants to get much of the early HP stuff out of the way since his HP/SG timeslines are canon, so maybe it's just filler til the two timelines meet.

    For sucking me into reading it and keeping me interested,

    4/5
     
  11. iceking1600

    iceking1600 Squib

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    The only thing thats got me kinda iffy about getting into the story is the amount of slash the author has in the profile. I'm alittle afraid this will turn into slash if it doesn't the harry in the story will prolly be abit . . . funny.
     
    Last edited: Mar 8, 2009
  12. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Updated. What the author said at the end is bang on: "I think there was a plot here once upon a time... Can't remember what it was though."
     
  13. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    He actually admitted it? If I lose my way, I just bluff.
     
  14. Banner

    Banner Dark Lady

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    At this point, I'm vaguely wondering why I was so thrilled with the story at first. Harry is now incredibly uber, and is painted with such brilliant colours that everyone else pales to utter insignificance. Whatever happened to Daniel Jackson, and how is the author going to get back to Stargate from another dimension?
     
  15. Chaoticblues

    Chaoticblues Professor

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    I'm liking it so far. It's one of those stories which succeed in making Harry a genius without it being extremely annoying. The only unfortunate thing about this story though is that to me it just reeks of arrogance. Still, it's not too bad and sure is better than many. 4/5 because it was quite captivating at the beginning and it's still not terrible even though it felt like the author has lost his/her initial flare.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2009
  16. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Haha, I find Harry extremely annoying for much of this story. I hope it ends something like this:

     
  17. I liked this fic well enough until the most recent chapter, but new chapter was just so blah. Sure it had its flaws, but it was still early and I figured he would have to face off against Super!Anubis or something before too long.

    I don't think anything happened in the last 5000 words. I want to give this one the benefit of the doubt, because I really like Stargate crossovers, and the author even said at the end of the chapter (as posted above) that the plot is gone.

    I am also wondering when the Stargate elements will come into this more. I think the Hayes that was in this chapter eventually becomes president of the US, so it still seems to be a Stargate Crossover somewhat. I just don't know right now...

    I am going to hold off for rating for a few more chapters just to see what comes of this and if it gets back to something decent.
     
  18. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Well, if we assume that (s)he's keeping his/her timelines straight, then the Stargate program was re-started in 1997, so at the very earliest the Stargate stuff is going to come in when Harry is age 17.
     
  19. Water Mage

    Water Mage Denarii Host

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    This one has been on my favorites list for awhile and I haven't gotten around to reading past chapter two until today. What kind of foolishness and fuckery is going on? It's almost like two different stories from beginning to end. It started with a strong promise and the author clearly has an agenda, and mentions that they know where there going with this. Then Harry meets the Flamels and it got shaky, not bad but still good, and finally it went into craziness. How can the term magic bother him this much. And the term wizard seems to offend him more than hardcore pornography. There's more but my mind is still blown by the author recently admitting to having no plot whatsoever. It's clearly an SG-1 crossover...so time jump...and include SG-1. Him being super inventor got old, fast.
     
  20. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, think I'm gonna rate this down to three. It's become average.
     
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