Er, he fought the two big Denarians one-on-one. Or actually, in Nicodemu's case, two-on-one (face it, Molly barely did anything during that fight) Which is somewhat out of character for the denarians, for the most part. Tessa had four (five?) Denarians around her pretty much all the time. (Although Nicodemus had four in canon)

All Shezza has to do is to have Tessa and several flunkies gang up on Harry. Preferably with anti-portkey/apparation wards up. Or something like that.

(And also, not sure about this, but isn't Tessa almost/equal in power to Nicodemus, but she just shows an extreme lack of foresight and goes for short-term goals? I think that's what was said in Small Favor. So Tessa + Denarian flunkies would probably match/overpower Harry, even with the new Words he's developing.)

 

Go look in DK chapter 25+ I think, for that. Of course he had Amaris with him, but still.

 

Tessa = or slightly < than Nicodemus, who took on Harry and a Knight of the cross. By himself.

Tessa + [3-4 denarians that gave Harry some trouble, even with Amaris] = difficult fight for Harry.

Or you could take Sammerial and Verrine, the two at the DoM.

 

That's relevant to every fight Harry has, though. Harry won't be killed, because there wouldn't be a story without him.

 

Seriously. -.-


But really, it'd almost be amusing to see Harry killed by some 'Good' person.

 

It's alright, dude, I knocked on wood right afterwards. Necessary precautions.

 

Yeah, I was thinking of that scene when I wrote that post.

 

Another 2k words is posted. This is shaping up to be a long chapter.

 

Nice update, with an evil twist. Really can't wait for more.
Ugh, and 1 death is enough for Harry, isn't it?

 

Only as his power increases. Right now, he could take on nico by himself easily.

Edit: just read it.

Bah, that was a really weak death. Should of at least had something a lot more epic in there imo. Totally saw it coming, either way.

 

I'm sure you did.

Great scene Shezza although it took the other denarian to long to get back on his feet imo.

 

I did after Jon posted what he did.

 

Last part of Chapter 7 is up. As usual, feedback is always welcome <--- (nice way of saying 'Plz Review!') . If anybody can be bothered giving it a spell-check, I'll upload it to FF.Net and PC tomorrow morning and be done with it.

 

shut (or I don't get it)

Spoiler

Lord Harold the....Lord.

rotfled here!

Nice update, already can't wait for more.
PS: didn't you say it was to be a long chapter?

 

Ok lets see:

The beginning of the chapter was a bit rushed I think. I understand you wanted to get things out of the way but it did lead to some questions. For instance, why exactly did Harry almost come to blows with Moody? Of them all you would expect him to be the most willing to "do what needs to be done" and as such accept Harry's methods. Also it might have been nice to actually read about Harrys dinners with the Hogwarts gang instead of just learning it happened in passing. It might have been amusing to read about Harry's reaction to meeting Luna and experiencing her "eccentricities" for example. Though I suppose it might have been a bit fillerish, especially if you did not feel inspired by the idea. Ohwell.


Whatever happened to Amaris? I just wondered that she was not mentioned at all even though Maeve and Cess were brought up in Harry's thoughts. The implication at the end of the previous story was that Harry had grown fond of her daughter, perhaps to the point of love, and that Maeve was perhaps planning on using this against Harry.

If this is true then I wonder if it might be worth adding a line or two where Harry's thoughts of Maeve also bring up Amaris and maybe have him miss her a little as a sort of foreshadowing? Ofcourse if Amaris&Maeve were mistaken about Harrys feelings and you don't intend for Amaris to play a role in Harry's life in this story then Harry not caring about his daughter makes sense.

I kinda hope she will be around though. There is still lots that could be written about her. For instance, I still would love to see the reactions of people when they learn that Harry actually has a daughter. Snapes reaction to learning that there is yet another Potter out there would probably be especially amusing to read about for instance.

Oh, and does Maeve actually still have a debt to Harry? I thought he used up his reward for saving her when he demanded that Maeve&Amaris go to Hogwarts with him in the previous story, and that the whole reason Maeve gave in back then was because she was paying Harry back. Did I misunderstand that scene then? I should reread that part I guess.


One thing that stuck me a bit about the ambush was that Harry did not think to use the sword to counter the darkness. The reason this was more jarring than normal is that what happened here with the whole ambush with darkness thing was very reminiscent of that scene in Small Favor where Dresden and Michael(A knight like Harry) are ambushed and caught in darkness and Michael easily dispels the darkness by pulling out his sword. I re-read SF a while back and so the scene was still pretty fresh in my mind, which naturally made Harry not thinking of using the sword a bit foolish on his part, especially given that he actually considered methods on how to get rid of the darkness such as fiendfyre. It has also been quite a while since that thing has been used so I wonder if it should not have been mentioned, especially in a "denarian heavy" chapter like this.


The whole transfiguring Verine's shirt thing was amusing, especially since it nearly fatally distracted Harry in the middle of the battle. That was so in-character for him.


The whole demonstration of Harry using a word to knock the attackers unconscious was nicely done I thought. You gave the whole thing a very nice feel of "alienness" which further emphasized the idea of using an inhuman language to power the spell. This whole idea was really cool and I like seeing Harry put it to action. Nicely done! I do wonder however how Dumbledore could possibly use that word since it did such huge amounts of damage and he does not have a fallen in his head capable of fixing him up.


Why was Verrine so surprised that Harry had his own mind left? I mean its not like its all that rare in the DF-universe. Nicodemus, who was the leader of the whole group for a long time was not a slave but worked together with his fallen. And in Small Favor we learn that Tessa does the same as does Rosanna. Frankly, when we consider Harry's reputation, the fact that he has a holy sword and the comments he made during the fight which are very un-Meciel-like, it should have been utterly obvious that Meciel had not destroyed Harry's mind.


Verrine agreeing to serve Harry was cool. Though I wonder how its all going to work out. What will Dumbledore think of someone like Verrine working for Harry for example. And what about the sword of the cross? Does Verrine not have any problems working for someone who is also a knight. And ofcourse is she for real or is this all a clever trap by Tessa. Right now Tessa probably has far more people working for her than Harry does so from that point it would make more sense for Verrine to be loyal to her rather than Harry. Should be interesting either way.


On the whole this chapter was very cool. We got some nice action, we saw Harry use his new cool "trump card" and even the plot moved forward nicely. I really hope you will be inspired to write more DL soon so that we will get a new chapter next weekend.

EDIT: Oh! Something I was planning on asking but forgot. Whatever happened to Umbridge and why is it that neither Dumbledore/Ministry seem to care that she has mysteriously disappeared.

 

Because....

she was a bitch.

Umbridge, I mean.

 

Holy shit that was a long review Datakim.

Otherwise, Shezza, I liked it. I liked it a lot actually. I still think you should have Harry kill off the crazy denarian that Verrine brought with her, thought I really love the idea of Harry having some lackeys.

Still love Harry's personality.

 

I hate it with a passion. DIE I SAY DIE!!!!!


Im talking bout jons idea to kill Harry by the way.