It's been nagging me for a few chapters now but...

I don't like this Fleur. Or rather, I like the characterization, but from Harry's point of view...

I get why she's a bitch, and the back story is remarkably well done compared to other Fleur's, but she is still a massive bitch, and from the looks of things, pretty manipulative in her love life, and the very definition of high maintainence. And the whole just openly telling Harry 'yeah, your chances are low of ever scoring with me' was cold. Telling him he'd be better off going with Aimee - personally, I hope he takes her up on it and never looks back.

Otherwise, well done. Nice twists in many ways during the event, and absolutle LULZ in the Weasley twin prank.

 

Solid.

I applaud your decision to severely injure one of the Champions to remind us that this is schoolchildren against fucking dragons. And using Aimee (who I like quite a bit) made me, at least, care about how the operation went. I'd be less emotionally involved if it had been, say, one of the Durmstrang kids.

I also liked the medical scene, particularly the idea of the Dysktra Shuffle. I don't think I've ever read a fic that had Harry in a Mediwizard role, or ever seen Poppy do more than hand out potions. It's something new in a fiction section that doesn't have a lot of new ideas.

 

I know what you mean, but that is too good to be true.

Ever read Alice's Wonderland by Vash, trust me you'll be pleasantly surprised.

 

A couple of others have mentioned tissue rejection, but you're right, magic trumps tissue rejection. The only concern they had was that HJ and Aimee were roughly the same height.

I considered torching Athena, but it didn't really carry as much weight as Aimee did.

As for Fleur, her iceberg is thawing, but I am trying to keep it realistic. He's in a 14 yr old body and she's an extremely hot 17 yr old. As for HJ's motivations, he's fallen into JP's pattern of chasing after the unattainable.

Ironic that Harry in TML has turned out to be the manwhore and HJ is being much more deliberate in his choices.

 

Genuine review;

Your logic is flawed, Jbern. There is a massive difference between a time-turner and a magic object the level of the sorting hat, which for all intents and purposes and appearances, is mother fucking sentient.

Dumbledore may be intelligent and lenient with his bending of the rules, but come the fuck on. He is intelligent, which is why he wouldn't give something like that away on the world of a fucking forth year, be it Harry Potter or Draco My shit don't stink Malfoy.

 

The sorting hat is just an old hat. A hat that happens to be unique and the basis for the Hogwarts House System, which is the basis for basically everything, from sleeping arrangements to Quidditch teams to whether you're going to be a Death Eater or not.

But I guess a thousand year old magical artefact from the Founders is of no consequence.

 

It stands to reason that if you have a thousand year old hat in the first place, there's some kind of protective magic involved--even if it's not spelled out explicitly in the text.

Maybe DD's not worried about the Hat because he knows something that HJ doesn't and the hat isn't in any danger? Or maybe he's just senile? (You could make a case either way, but who cares?)

 

At this point Dumbledore knows about James' memories within Harry, so I think he's starting to treat him with a little bit more respect. He knows that HJ knows what he's doing, and as long as nobody gets hurt in the process he's more than willing to go along.

 

You mean the way Gringotts had protection to prevent the vaults from being robbed? That, as incompetent as Harry was, he managed to do despite its impossibility?

The way Hogwarts was supposed to be protected when a student managed to out-maneuver?

Forgive me for, you know... being completely stupid... I mean, what was I thinking? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Fucking STUPID, Vash! Whats wrong with you! Of Fucking COURSE magic is infallible. Its stupid to think someone could steal the hat from Harry while its protected by magic.

Oh... Wait... I forgot. Bill is a mother fucking curse-breaker. Which I might remind you, contains the job description of removing curses and protective magics from objects, tombs, and the various like.

And, you know, the fact that Dumbledore is neither careless, stupid, or senile. The fact remains, its an object that for all appearances, is mother fucking sentient. A thousand year old, talking, thinking hat that belonged to four of the most renowned individuals of the last two thousand years. And coincidentally, there is also a wizard of nearly as much renown as Dumbledore, who is for all we know his better, and that... you know... has a fetish for objects that belonged to the previously mentioned four individuals.

EDIT:

.:12·32·19:. ( Mindless ) And coincidentally, there is also a wizard of nearly as much renown as Dumbledore, who is for all we know his better, and that... you know... has a fetish for objects that belonged to the previously mentioned four individuals.
.:12·32·48:. ( &Fenrir ) http://library.ragebuddha.com/albums/random/tentaclerape.jpg :O
.:12·32·49:. ( Mindless ) Translation: Fuck you, think it through without taking the 'jBern wrote it so it must be right' route.
.:12·32·54:. ( &Fenrir ) tentacle rape!
.:12·33·10:. ( &Fenrir ) ..lulz.
.:12·33·31:. ( %World ) am I the only one imagining Voldemort getting it on with the Sorting Hat?

 

I'm a bit out of the loop, but I think you're talking about the time Hat was with Harry at the Dursley's, the safest place after Howgwarts.

 

Yeah, accepting that DD would lend out the sorting hat (It's semi-sentient, right? Maybe it *wanted* to go with Harry.) requires way more suspension of disbelief than reading about dragons and magic and elves and shit--out of everything, what you can't swallow is the Hat story arc? What a trivial thing to nit-pick (It almost sounds like you're searching for something to complain about...)

 

The mentioned above points about Sorting Hat would be true, but considering Hat's personality in this story it is not surprising that Dumbledore would use an opportunity to rid himself of it's presence for 3 month's. And consolidate good relationship with Harry.

If the Hat is destroyed...Well, he is Dumbledore, he could always enchant another Hat, only this time peaceful and good, and nobody outside Hogwarts faculty would be the wiser..

 

I think you've got a great characterization of Fleur - I really do. A good depth, a unique portrayal - all good things. However, if your goal is to create an intriguing path of Harry and Fleur getting together because they've come to some sort of deep understanding other than,
'she's hot, let's fuck...' then I have to say, I for one don't think it's working.

The more this goes on, the more I dislike this Fleur.

She's a massive bitch. You go into her background as to why she acts this way, how she can't stand all the popularity and the crowds and all her girl friends getting pissy - and then she apparently goes out, dates the rich, older famous guys, drags them along for a bit, then tosses them away. She's the very definition of high maintainance, and that last scene sealed the deal - she wasn't even trying to be a bitch when she just out and said, "Harry, you've got no chance with me, go date my best friend." She wasn't trying to put him down, that was just honestly who she was.

So while HJ might go on for a while chasing the forbidden fruit, as a reader I have to wonder at this point what's all the fuss about. This is the girl that in real life, treats everyone like shit because she knows whatever the ramifications, she's still hot.

So yeah, I really like this story. A lot. But to be honest, at this point I'm kinda hoping that Harry takes Fleur's advice, maybe sleeps around with Athena to screw with Krum, fools around with a few of the seventh years, and then ends up for good with a nicely healed Aimee. Wins all around, I'd say.

 

Look, I know ZOMG HE'S DUMBLEDORE, but let's just take a moment to consider just how ridiculous that thought is. Done? The Hat is a sentient artifact designed by one of the legendary Founders, and has been working and developing for centuries. You don't whip that shit off an assembly line.

 

... See the above macro.

Nuk, I'm going to be honest with you, because we're friends and thats what friends do. That has to be the single stupidest thing you've said in this entire thread. More suspension of Disbelief than dragons?

Use some fucking common sense, and think for yourself, you pathetic little lemming. The fucking series is about damned wizards and magic. Yes it takes fucking suspension of disbelief to read.

But when you mother fucking write in the series, logic is still a factor you have to mother fucking consider. Snape isn't gonna fucking buy Lupin a present for his birthday because Dumbledore tells him to. Just like Dumbledore, under any fucking circumstances, isn't gonna loan out a semi-/sentient object to a kid, regardless of how old his memories may be.

In fact, if I had a kid walking around that was displaying knowledge of shit he couldn't know and the explination was the same as this story? I wouldn't give him toilet paper to wipe with, let alone something that valuable until I understood a lot more about what the hell was going on.

Consider some fucking common sense before you mother fucking post. Jesus, did you even bother to fucking think before you posted this shit, or did you just see someone disagreeing on a fucking valid point and actually pointing out that your little false-god Jbern isnt in-fucking-fallible the way you shit licking little cunts say he is?

Oh but wait, I forgot... Jbern has a gazibillion reviews! He must be mother fucking awesome mustn't he?

And no, the hat isn't my only complaint, but Ive already told Jbern I think his reasonings for Remus/Lily were pathetically thin and only viable in bizarro world, and other issues I've had. The current issue, however, has been the Hat in the last few posts and what was being talked about when Inq posted. Its also what what Jbern quoted.

Relavent to the mother fucking post, after all, right?

 

On the other hand Dumbledore is a genius and one of the most powerful wizards in history, and magic surely must evolved greatly from the time of Founders.

Moreover I distinctly remember reading on JK's website that Sorting Hat was once stolen by students in the past. Surely Headmasters must have implemented some backups or something..

 

LOL IT R DUMBLEDORE HE R INFALLIBLE

The point you so easily missed was that it's a completely unique item from the age of the Founders, and more than just an enchantment makes it what it is. The original Model T. Fucking priceless, but we could make another. SO what makes it priceless? Could it be the fact that it's the real deal, original? And that's assuming it can be remade, and I don't think you could with the Hat.

 

Or, you know, considering it was students, I'd wager the teachers found out who it was, got it back, and punished the children.

But you did prove one point I made. Magic is not infallible, and Dumbledore is gonna consider this. And ... you know.. that students can overcome the protection, ... no. Even with James' memories, because theory is different from practice. And muscles retain as much of the memory as the mind, and I'd wager those arent transferable.

 

It was bizarre of Dumbledore to give Harry the hat. It really is too valuable/unique to just give away like that without a damn good explanation. An explanation that Harry did not give.

I always wondered why that kind of illogicality was necessary in the first place. I mean it would have been possible to get the hat to Harry in other ways too. Fawkes for instance could have taken it to Harry without Dumbledore's permission and the whole issue could have been more or less avoided.

The story itself is very good though. The few plotholes, while annoying, arent enough to change that. Keep up the good work jbern.

 

Maybe it can't be remade, which I doubt (simple sentience like portraits, animated cloth and the most difficult bit - a Legilimency upon contact), but nobody would know that this is a fake, after all - only Dumbledore and maybe his loyal pack of teachers. And Dumbledore does't seems like a man who cares about antiques and priceless heirlooms simply because they are antiques. And Hat doesn't give him some exceptional and unique power. To him expand further good relationship with Chosen One would be more important then some miniscule amount of danger to a Hat at Dursleys, who in turn are heavely protected.