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Lamest joke you know!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Mage Ronin, Jan 9, 2009.

  1. Mage Ronin

    Mage Ronin Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    Tell the lamest joke you know. Starting off...

    My dad was a pistol so that makes me a son of a gun...
     
  2. Boofers

    Boofers Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2007
    Messages:
    350
    Location:
    Michigan
    "Knock knock"
    "Who's there?"
    "I eat mop"
    "I eat mop who?"
    "Haha you eat your poo"

    or..

    Did you hear the one about the evil tuna? He was rotten to the albacore.. <3 Spongebob
     
  3. Lorelei of the Sea

    Lorelei of the Sea Unspeakable

    Joined:
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    753
    Location:
    Southern California
    Person 1: In order to work for this company, you have to be a doer, son. You have to be a doer.
    Person 2: Do her? I don't even know her.

    Or some variation of it.

    ....What? You said you wanted lame.
     
  4. Mage Ronin

    Mage Ronin Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."
     
  5. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    I laughed. :awesome
     
  6. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

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    Did you guys hear about the circus fire?

    It was intense!
     
  7. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    1,604
    Why does the tiger chase the deer?

    He wants fast food.
     
  8. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    What's brown and sticky?
    A stick.

    What's black and white and black and white and black and white?
    A nun falling down the stairs.

    What's black and white and red all over?
    A nun that's been stabbed.

    Lame, but funny :p.
     
  9. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    What do you call a stone-age bra?

    An over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.
     
  10. Mage Ronin

    Mage Ronin Groundskeeper DLP Supporter

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    You guys are so lame, lol.

    Three guys walk in to a bar. The fourth one ducks.
     
  11. Gravity

    Gravity First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2008
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    40
    What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.
     
  12. Cathal

    Cathal Sir Nils' Right Hand

    Joined:
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    433
    Location:
    Canada
    - Hey monkey, what's that you're eating?
    - An apple.
    - An apple... B-but why is it so... brown?
    - Well, that's the second time I'm eating it.
     
  13. MellowYellow

    MellowYellow Fourth Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Canada
    1- A man walks into a bar... ouch

    2- What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....

    ......a stick

    3-Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

    Right where you left it.

    4- Knock knock

    Who's there?

    Little boy blue

    Little boy blue who?

    Michael Jackson
     
  14. Aekiel

    Aekiel Angle of Mispeling ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I laughed :p.
     
  15. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Two muffins are in an oven.

    One turns to the other and says holy shit it's hot in here

    The other muffin says holy shit a talking muffin!!!!
     
  16. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    What's worse than lobsters on a piano?

    .

    ..

    ...

    Crabs on the Organ XD
     
  17. Immolo

    Immolo High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2008
    Messages:
    574
    All from Fallout 3

    I was going to the clairvoyant's meeting, but it was canceled due to unforeseen events.

    It is common knowledge that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives.

    Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?".

    Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

    I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims.

    The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.

    Two atoms are sitting in a bar. One says to the other, "I think I've lost an electron." The other asks "Are you sure?" to which the first replies "I'm positive."

    A neutron walks into a bar. "How much for a drink?" To which the bartender responds, "For you, no charge."
     
  18. Rahkesh Asmodaeus

    Rahkesh Asmodaeus THUNDAH Bawd Admin DLP Supporter

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    Two cannibals are eating a clown, one turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?".

    That's not from Fallout, pretty old joke iirc.
     
  19. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    A pirate walks into a bar with a huge wheel on his belt.

    Bartender says hey you know there's a wheel on your belt?

    Pirate replies Yarrrrrr it's driving me nuts!
     
  20. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2007
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    Location:
    New Jersey
    A termite walks into a bar and asks 'is the bartender here?
     
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