I was going to bring that up. Now I've reread the whole series I noticed that there are a few mistakes in most chapters on ff.net, mostly I think where you've changed things from what you posted here.

Should be of not if.

That said this was a good chapter, the characterisation of Meciel was very well done and you used an interesting way of bringing up Meciel's past.

I was a little disappointed with the last part between Harry and Meciel, I was hoping for something more, but I suppose you risked cheapening it. Of course there's also the possibility that there will be more on that later on.

 

I'm a little confused about the void Shezza. You described it as a place full of darkness where one loses the ability to feel anything. Yet Harry thinks of the place as horrible and cold. Where he indeed to lose all sense of feeling, he could not feel if something is painful, hot, cold or warm.

You also wrote that not only had Harry's senses left him, but his emotions had slipped away too. Meaning Harry would not be able to think something was horrible in the first place. Instead he would simply register the place as neither a good nor bad thing. Not only that, you also described Meciel's face as contorted up in pure agony. This does seem a bit contradictory.

And finally, when Harry leaves Meciel's mind he embraces the pain because it is better than feeling nothing. Pain is a negative feeling. When you feel pain you don't want to feel it again. Especially in high amounts as Harry was exposed to. If you however lose all your emotions, you won't be thinking of the experience as good or bad, since those sensations have been stripped from you.

So as soon as Harry comes back, his sensations will turn from neutral to bad. I could understand the fact that Harry is glad to be back and so welcomes a little pain. But as you describe the scene, Harry looks to be in as much pain as a person under the Cruciatus curse. So I think it is safe to say he will be more concentrated on the pain, rather then any other feelings (and thus would not be welcoming it). The only way that could work, is if the void is worse than eternal pain. And if Harry has truly lost all his senses and emotions, he would not be following the same line of thought.

This was a good update however, and I did like how you added a more humane aspect to Meciel. Unless of course she was simply faking affection, as anybody would expect a fallen angel to do.

 

Er ... depends on your definition of 'cold'. The word can be used with different connotations - i.e. psychological coldness; without human warmth or emotion.

Well, it's not. Let me answer you with a quote from the story:

The whole thing's a Dementor-induced illusion - ILLUSION. As in, not the real deal. You wouldn't expect every little thing to be perfect. The 'Void' was just a trap to keep Harry and Meciel contained while the Dementors fed on their happy memories. So yes, it is perfectly justifiable for Harry to feel horrible.

Blah blah blah blah. tl;dr

Your point? Harry'd much rather be in pain than be trapped in his own head. Deal with it.

 

I concede this point. But it still does not explain how Meciel is in agony while under the effects of the void.

And here is also a quote from the story:

It does not matter if the effect is an illusion or not. The illusion was meant to imitate a real thing, in this case the void. Which is why Meciel believes she is in the void in the first place, it's the working of the illusion. The quote above describes how Harry perceives the void. If Harry described the void as horrible after he shook off the illusion, then it could be justified. However he describes the void as horrible while he is still under its effect. Despite the fact that all his emotions and senses have been drained from him.

 

Meciel feels agony because 1. She isnt human. 2. Much as Harry sees his parents' death in canon Meciel's worst memory is the Void. It was nothing. For a being of such power and wisdom to have absolutely nothing but her own mind would be torture.

Shezza also says in the fic that Harry did not really enter the Void. He had but a small glimpse of it and even that was enough to nearly destroy his sanity or what passes for sanity. Harry simply had a peek of the Void. He was like a little kid catching a glimpse of the hot girl next door, he cant touch it or go there. He just saw it for a moment.

 

This does not matter, as feelings are part of being human. If Meciel can experience agony, then she has the ability to feel. Which again is contradictory. Unless of course Meciel is affected differently by the void than Harry is. But that still does not explain how Harry shudders and feels horrible when all his senses and emotions have been drained from him.

No. To lose one's emotions means to lose one's emotions. If I were in the void I would attempt to feel panicked or frightful at the fact that I have no emotions. The key word being attempt.

But he experienced it, and had time to perceive what it was like. And he does after all describe what the void is like, so your point is irrelevant.

 

Seems to me that you're making a big deal out of nothing. Yes, the Void is a place where you can't feel emotion or feel anything for that matter. But, we're human. Have you even thought about what it'd feel like to feel nothing? That's not a feeling we normally have. Our brain and body simply isn't wired to be able to feel nothing. I imagine each person would experience it differently. For Harry, that emptiness was an excruciating coldness.

 

Never mind, you're right. This is indeed a minor detail, and should not detract too much from the story. So I'll refrain from posting on the matter for now.

 

For now. Haha, way to make that sound ominous.

 

I've always thought the Void as something that is 'outside' existence, a place beyond all the rules and laws of the universes; in the Void there is no time, there is no past nor future, and that a single moment in the void would be like an eternity... or something like that. A place of 'unreality', where nothing exists.

Imagine sending immortal beings (immortal as in... will always exists) in a place where nothing can exist...

Well, that's juts my interpretation of the Void; if it was only a place where you can't feel anything, it wouldn't be that terrible, right?

 

My only thought was that most people would slap someone who was "out of it" or even attempt to do something romantic in vain hopes that it would help.

Harry?

The first thing to pop into his mind is a headbutt to the face.

 

I've been rereading the Series and came across something. In the Denarian Knight story, Harry goes to Dumbledore to get him in school and not killed by the White Council right? Dumbledore agrees, and lets Harry into school. Does that therefore have Harry owe a life debt to Dumbledore?

 

Didn't he agree to protect the students in exchange, in case there was any trouble from the various Dark forces at work? That would negate the life debt, if there was one, because it would have been paid by Nicodemus' death and Harry completing the year.

 

I thought it was that he wouldn't harm the students, and that was 4th year, not 5th. I'm talking about when Morgan takes him to Dumbledore for confirmation he's a student after Harry says he's taking the OWLs.

 

Harry also promises in DK to protect Hogwarts after Dumbledore is gone.

Anyway, rules on life debts and their repayment are unclear, so its debatable. It seems to me that what Dumbledore did was not enough to create a life debt, in that he saved Harry's life indirectly rather than directly. Had he cursed Morgan to bits to save Harry that would have been a clear cut matter, but this is less so.

 

On the other hand, Harry saved Dumbledore's life directly in the Atrium fight while he was busy saving Neville.

 

I would venture to say they arent keeping score with who owes who stuff.
More of a line of credit for favors.

20 years from now.

"OLD GUY!"
"What can I do for you today, Harry?"
"Remember when I saved your ass from Snake face way back when? I need a favor"

 

Dumbledore saves Harry in almost exactly same way as canon!Harry saves Pettingrew.

But, I'm pretty sure Dumbledore took an oath to protect Hogwarts' students. As Harry was, formally, still a student it would cover him too. And even if Harry was indebted to Dumbledore, he saved his life later this year and probably saved him (and whole school) from Drakon in 1st task.

Uh, that, and Dumbledore wouldn't use it even if he could, after all the only reason Harry respects him is because he did not use power he had over Harry as he was expected to.

 

I like everything up to now, but I really don't like this turn in the story.

Several months before you had posted something involving some ritual and Dumbledore and some bonding thing and it was met with a lot of criticism centering around how people didn't believe she could be affected by something like that and it would nerf her and was ruining her badass character.

Though I'm not well-versed in the Dresden universe, I don't actually see the problem. Dumbledore in HP and your story does represents one of the strongest figures, and his actions were not without consequence. Nevertheless you scrapped it, which is fine.

By contrast, I think this scene is more worthy of that sort of criticism. I don't suppose everyone wanders into a Dementor hive but isn't one of Meciel's strengths her ability to fortify and protect Harry from these relatively common (for him) mental incursions? This seems like a really glaring and specific weakness, even if it's there something "unique" or "special" about Dementors. So she's able to protect him from anything except Dementors?

Or maybe she's taken unaware, but the same thing could happen tomorrow. I assume part of the reason you have emphasized Meciel's ability to shield his mind is because a Mental Arts Harry is kind of boring. In some future conflict, we could just think that the other guy would win if he'd planned and brought along Dementors. You're leaving this big exploit open (a little like Felix Felicis).

That being said, looking at other people's comments, I do like this backstory on Meciel, and even reliving some terrible memories. It's interesting and well-written. However I just think that right now with Dementors is the worst way to get there.

 

You said it yourself. They wandered into a Dementor hive. Hundreds upon hundreds of Dementors, not just a few. At least, that's the way I took it. That many Dementors would send anyone and anything to the ground.