Maybe I wouldn't go quite that far, but I can certainly say that he is not a "great" writer. I'm sorry if you like him, but I cannot stand his stories, and even super!Iruka sounds plausible when standing next to his monolith of story ideas packed into one chapter.

I admit, I enjoyed his first few chapters, but after that...

 

I read Partially Kissed Hero and I liked it a lot. Better than Chuunin Exam Day. I did read Chuunin Exam Day some time ago, but stopped once the story turned into a deus ex machina clusterfuck.

I like harem stories, but the way this one was done is just beyond the pale.

 

The only story that seems to keep going besides that one is LOST SOUL, honestly you would think Naruto would have conquered the world after 400,000 words wtf.

 

Update. It looks like it's going to be Naruto/Yugito.

Oh, and now that I think about it, I'm really surprised their aren't more fics with Killer Bee.

 

Either that or it's Yugito/Kirabi. That would be interesting, too.

(Am I the only one that reads Killer Bee as Kirabi (Japanese, one word) as opposed to the English name?)

 

Hmm. I rather like the premise; of course, I'm terribly fond of "Groundhog Day", and while thirty chapters in it starts getting ridiculous, at least it's ridiculous written WELL. There is also his unique view of things that keeps me coming back.

"Partially Kissed Hero" is by far the superior story, of course, and the attempt to curry as much reader favour as possible within "CeD" by having Naruto shack up with EVERY possible female, regardless of how likely or unlikely it is, is a point to the story's detriment.

I'm well aware of my own 'gaping plot holes', as one of you have describe it, and I realise that not all of you are going to accept the "fanfiction is as fanfiction does" get-out-of-jail-free card excuse. *shrugs* Read it or don't read it; I'm doing this for my own enjoyment, primarily. That some of you seem to like it yourselves is just bully for me.

Thanks to all of you who commented and reviewed with accolades and criticisms both. I DO plan to rewrite DoaM at some point to patch up the plotholes around which I skirt most treacherously.

Enjoy all the room to stretch out on that bandwagon, mate: It's been done to death, and I'm so bloody sick of it that I won't consider it.

There are always multiple ways to view the same situation, even given identical information. I happen to prefer my way. If you prefer the thought of sweaty-stinky guy-on-guy action, then, well...go do it, uh, over there.

Yes, there.

Why yes, I DO mean 'In the lava pit'.

*sigh* Yes, the one with daemons clawing their way out of it, the shrieks of a trillion tormented souls echoing behind them. THAT one.

Go. Shoo. Have fun!

Hate to break it to you, but the ROMANCE aspect of the story is going to be fairly understated with regards to Itachi. Hell, I'd even question calling it romance - the guy's a little wonky, and he's slowly coming apart.

No, the romance involved is primarily going to deal with Naruto. As much as I like Itachi, and as much as I'm enjoying tearing his psyche and established character apart, I don't think I'll be able to write him actually saying "I love you" to someone.

Seriously - Itachi? Are you kidding?

I may even make his 'romance' one-sided or I may even make it a 'romance' of convenience for him; he's very pragmatic, and though I'm making him face his emotions again, some wounds just don't heal, especially if they're self-inflicted.

This is all conjecture, of course; I have a basic idea of where I want to go, and I've a billion scene ideas rattling around in my skull at any given time, most of which won't be used.

*shrugs* Who knows?

Bloodreaver Alpha OUT.

 

Yes! Another chapter.

I was hoping for the Itachi/Iruka fight but this was pretty good as well.We got a close-up into Naruto`s character, you didnt change much from cannon.He is still a loud-mouth.

A little insight into Killer Bee`s relationship with his demon, I personally wont like a similar thing between Naruto and the nine-tails.But it is your story so ... whatever

A Naruto/Yugito will be kinda cool.

The only thing your story lacks is a epic battle . The one between Itachi and Iruka should change that.

GO ITACHI ! KILL THAT MOTHAFUCKA!

 

That's more what I was alluding to, to be honest. Romance is never a big thing for me, so I was more worried about it taking centre stage than it being done well. So many fanfiction writers go the road of pairing their favourite character with the person who seems to best 'fit' them. It's the reason for the majority of the Naruto/Hinata fics out there after all.

Still, with this I'm confident you'll do much better than that so I'm pretty damn happy about it.

 

NEVER mention that pairing within earshot of me again. God in Heaven...! With exactly TWO exceptions that are well-written enough to allow me to OVERLOOK the stupidities behind it, NaruHina stories invariably boil down to:

"n-naruto i luv u, thats why i stalk u and use my bloodline to watch u shower"

"o hinata i never knew u existed since u never talked to me or anything but i luv u 2"

"look my stuttering is cured lets get married and have a billion baybeez"

"ok"

BLEUGH.

 

If it was for lulz I would be the number one fanboy.

The Bannana says it all.:banana: :banana:

Link?

So basically the Naruto version of Ginny Weasley?

 

Yup.

Pretty much, the only Naru/Hina I read was Team8 by S`Tarkan.

He could say it to Sasuke...and then rip his eyes out.

I have one question regarding the story, in cannon Itachi was terebly sick and almost blind, why isnt he sick in your story?

 

Team 8 and People Lie are the noly two Naru/Hina fics I've ever really enjoyed, at least that's what my memories say, but I'm not one to hate a pairing just based on a few (lot of) shitty writers' stories. Ginslut is the exception of course, because I hate her in canon too .

On topic though, I'm still looking forward to the next chapter. Any ideas on a timescale for updates?

 

Hah! Team 8 by S'Tarkan is one of the two. The other is "The Dichotomy of Namikaze Naruto", and that might not even BE NaruHina. Looks like it is, but...

Anyway, regarding why Itachi isn't sick.

What an ignoble end Itachi had in canon! What a waste of a good character! What a letdown! But then, that's pretty much Kishimoto through and through. The only reason in canon that Sasuke could even TOUCH Itachi was because of that debilitating illness, and he STILL got pwned. If it hadn't been for Itachi's decision to die, Sasuke would have been chewed up and shat out.

I stated that I'm picking and choosing various elements from Shippuuden, and Itachi's illness got the axe. I don't like it, it doesn't contribute to the story any, and it doesn't hold the slightest jot of interest for me.

It's...stupid.

 

And the blindness ?

Even Madara became blind after a while.

 

Itachi wasn't blind by that point in the manga, and this is set before that so it makes little to no difference to the plot. That's especially given how reluctant he seems to be in regards to using the Mangekyou Sharingan.

Also, The Dichotomy of Namikaze Naruto is a good fic, but I reckon you would enjoy Nugar's People Lie just as much (if not more) despite the Naru/Hina pairing. Then again, it pretty much transforms Hinata's (and Naruto's, though not so much Sasuke's >_>) character so that she's all but unrecognisable from her canon self. It works out very well though.

 

*grins* How about 'right now'? I seem to be hitting my stride as a writer - I've had periods of months between chapters before, but right now I can't go a few days without writing a few thousand words worth. *shrugs* It'll probably taper off soon after the last chapter in this Arc, but enjoy it while you can - I don't have a set schedule.

Thanks for the recommendation. I read this one a long time ago, and I'd forgotten about it.

Here's the first half of your 'epic battle'.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4061318/26/Diary_of_a_Madman_Memoirs_of_a_Nukenin

Hope you like it!

Not the reason at all. I don't really care one way about Iruka - he's so insubstantial and so flimsy as a character in canon that it's almost as if he wasn't there.

THAT is the reason I chose Iruka - because he's supposed to be an integral character to Naruto's development, yet his complete lack of depth makes it impossible to empathize or even like him. He's two dimensional, at best...I just wanted to 'flesh him out', as it were, in an unusual way.

I've only seen a 'StrongIruka!' fic once, if you don't count the incomplete thirteenth chapter of "Dichotomy of Namikaze Naruto", where it ends with him scaring the shit out of Kumo-nin.

Pity that the idea wasn't as original as I thought, but then, maybe most of the StrongIruka! fics are short crap with pairings I don't like, so they probably just haven't come up on my radar. Oh well.

*grins* Well, I can't be revealing everything, now can I? Be patient, mate; you'll eventually see what happens.

Bloodreaver Alpha OUT.

 

Yes, man ! Yes! I bow at your feet and congrat you for this epic battle start.

Are we going to see Susano? *puppy dog eyes* Pweety Pweasss?

 

I Don't know if anyone has asked this yet but will Itachi's canon illness be a part of your story?

 

Read above

 

Ah missed that the first time through. Thanks