Title: Hungry Thirsty Crazy
Author: Sinister Papaya Fondue
Rating: M
Movie rating: R - 18A
Genre: Angst/Romance
DLP Category: Restricted Section - NC-17
Pairing: Hermione/Lucius
Status: WIP

Summary: The wizarding world is abuzz over a controversial new book by an anonymous author. Hermione accidentally discovers who that author is, and it might change her life - and his - forever...LM/HG

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4148755/1/Hungry_Thirsty_Crazy

Alright, to address the first and obvious issue of it being Lucius/Hermione... I had this story recommended to me by a friend who reads a lot of fics in this genre. Normally, my eyes would slide right past a LM/HG pairing story without a second thought, but she has good taste and hasn't let me down before. So, I agreed to suspend my disbelief and I started reading. Much to my surprise the story was actually fantastically written. The author has some serious talent. The story revolves around a novel written by a mysterious author and the writer of the fanfic does such a good job with it that you really want to read the novel in the story.

The story contains some unique twists that I've never seen before. It has some very original ideas. I challenge those of you who would normally, like myself, skip this kind of story and give it a shot. I think that you will be pleasantly surprised.

For those who can't quite bring themselves to read it, I can't really blame you. My friend had to really twist my arm to get me to give it a go.

For overall writing style/ability, plot, and characterization. 5/5

 

Readable, but not very interesting. It has to have something REALLY special about it to make it in a Harry-centric forum.

It doesn't. This reads like a more elaborate version of Twilight at best.

2/5

 

CRAAAAAAAAAWLING INNNNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN

 

Holy fucking christ. I just skimmed the first chapter and it's been a long time since I've come across any fic with the sheer volume of reasons to never click chapter two.

Fucking retarded Hermione, fucking retarded angst, fucking retarded romance, fucking sissy-ass bitch Lucius, Lucius the secret emo romance novel writer, Lucius the kind muggle-friendly misunderstood artistic genius, Lucius the sex god. And not even once in the entire first chapter is the name "Harry" or "Potter" even referenced.

At least if it had tons of typoes and grammar errors, I could read it for unintentionally humorous reasons. But there's an intelligent, capable writer behind this.

And given what she's writing, I'm fairly certain I despise her and everything she cares about.

It's written well enough, but if this kind of fic is for you, then what the fuck are you doing on DLP?

There's only one rating I can give this fic: rape out of five.

 

Irony.

I lol'd. At this, and the title and author name.

MAI BOOK EAT YOR HAND

I shall endeavor to set out on a dangerous mission. A mission to read this entire fic. Or at least the first 5 chapters. My sanity is at stake here my friends, but I will try.

Wish me luck. :awesome

 

Retarded Pairing = -1/5

Fail Idea = -1/5

Angst = 0/5

^ = 0/5

General Retardation = -1/5


Grammar/Spelling = 3.4/5


Total score .4/5 >_>

Only saving grace was the fact that the author is decent enough with the English language.

 

lol, the "book" goes into Lucius's experiences as a child. Those of him being orally raped anyway.

Edit1:
Also, chapter 13:

Edit2: Oh, I forgot. Lucius also has AIDS, which he managed to get sometime after producing Draco.

Edit3: No, wait, I think Voldemort raped him too, and gave him AIDS.

Edit4: Ok, Voldemort raped him, but didn't give him AIDS. He got AIDS because Bellatrix injected him with diseased blood.

Also, I've read the whole thing. It's not that horrible for what it tries to be, even if it's not something I'd enjoy at all, even if the writing made it possible for me to actually read it. To its credit, I'm sure this is the best written Hermione/Lucius story in existence, not that that is saying much. The above mentioned is all... Um...

Anyway, I won't rate it. I'm not the target audience.

 

That was cruel and unnecessary to quote that Iztiak and you're a braver man than I, to trudge that far through.

Having read that extract I would have to believe that the author is a fangirl solely for the small section below.

DO NOT WANT!

Having read the author's bio he/she/it is a postgraduate which accounts for the solid writing, unfortunately I am unaware as to the reasoning behind his/her/its latest piece of fail. Unfortunately what we have here is a clear cut example of adult fangirl syndrome.

Good writing does not automatically a good fic make. Well written emo is still emo. Bad characterization to appease fangirlism does automatically a fucking shit fic make. Plot, I have no idea if it's original or not as I'd have to be paid to touch anything like this with a ten foot pole.

QFT, read and learn Vates.

1/5 as that is the lowest possible rating I can give to a fic.

 

I only read the part that Iztiak quoted - which pretty much molested my initially good morning. I LOL'd hard at Lucius contracting AIDS though. I don't care about the actual plot; I'll simply keep believing he got it from Voldemort.

Do not want/5

 

The only think that is good about this fiction is the grammar and spelling. This fic is written by a fangirl with a good skill in writing and a dedication to her writing, but in the end... she's still a fangirl.

0.5/5

 

Lol. Well the response is clear enough. Can anyone take this down or move it to the Recycling Bin?

 

I cannot *believe* that you recc'ed this here.

I read the first chapter, and it was as expected...

Appallingly bad, with hints of overblown prose and a smug finish.

FAIL/5

 

lol Oh my lord. This sounds like a big fucking emo fest in the story. I didn't read it, but I can tell this isn't well liked by most (if not all) the members here. Why put this up for review?

 

Seriously. The Hermione in this disgusted me. The Lucius in this disgusted me. The idea this story was based on disgusted me.

So, as my particularly verbose motivator said.

Do not want.

 

What Gaston said!

 

Haha, can't win em all. It IS pretty emo and I'm not much of a fan of Lucius in general but I recc'ed it for the writing style and ability of the author. In hindsight I probably should have mentioned that.

I stand by my rating for the talent of the author, even if she is just a fangirl.

Also, I'm new (clearly) and I'm not sure if I can take my own threads down or do I need a Mod to do it?

 

In the future...just don't recommend fics that don't focus on such emoish crap, especially a Granger/Malfoy pairing. Both of them are bad enough as it is, no one wants to read the elder Malfoy fucking anyone at all, least of all Granger of all people. The day Malfoy falls for a "mudblood" is the day that Voldemort runs crying to Dumbledore wanting to save himself.

 

Lol, so true. I will say, I'm not really a Lucius/Hermione fan either. I just liked the writing. Advice noted though.

 

There is an almost recommended fanfiction thread lurking around somewhere. I wouldn't even place this as remotely close to that but it would have been smarter to give that a trial run in there first.

As I said before good writing doesn't make a good fic, if you're posting it in for review it's with the belief that it should go into DLP library. You're shooting yourself in the foot if you make people think you want HG/LM fics in the library.

For the most part people rate based on content. Acceptable writing is just one of the hurdles for entrance into the library, content and a mastery of the hows, whens and why nots of cliches seems to be the other (in my experience).

Trawl the forums some more and have a look at the fics that are in the existing library, should give you a much better idea of what might or might not be library material.

 

No.... just, no.
I read all of about 3/4 of the first chapter and I just can't stomach it.

1/5