Horrible. My feelings can be summed up in that word.

I am neutral towards Hermione at her best, and this is definitely the worst. Even sappy OOC Harmony stories are more accurate than "DARK LADY JANE, fashionable AND dark, but not really evil. ".

 

Dam I got roped into reading this shit and I want the 5 mins of my life back. OOC main characters, slash, poor writing style and basicly what everyone else said. 1/5

 

I don't get it. Why is her name Jane instead of Granger?

Quisling?

 

Hermione Jean Granger is her full name according to Wiki.

I suppose Jean -> Jane isn't that much of a stretch. -_-


Edit: Alright, who's responsible for this? :awesome

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quisling

EDIT: Warlocke you fucking idiot.

 

..............................
I'm never taking any recommendations from you. Even as a parody this would be shit.

 

Because Dark Lady Jane has more flash. It makes her sound like a G.I. Joe. YO JOE! Also, it was for the same reason Voldemort isn't called Lord Riddle... Lady Granger sounds dorky in comparison to Dark Lady Jane.

I was too lazy to type for myself, enjoy this cut'n'paste from wikipedia...

Basically, it's a way to say someone is a turncoat/traitor/Benedict Arnold, while also proving you're better read than the average mook. Remember, this Hermione isn't just angry, she's also better than you.

Better Than You. (For fun, say those last two sentences out loud in GLaDOS's voice. I did, and found it somewhat amusing.)

It's interesting how, when Hermione becomes angry with her friends who have 'betrayed' her (where betrayed means 'not willing to stand by and watch her horrifically torture your only other friend, just for being a terminally stupid and insensitive dummy with foot-in-mouth disease'), what she really means is 'I hate all men. All men have wronged me.' It's more than a little telling that the only men depicted as halfway decent in this story, are the gay ones. [Edit: No word on which way Dumbledore swings in this fic, though he's clearly depicted as one of the bad guys.]

Even out of control Weasley bashing stories come off as more reasonable by comparison.

That Hermione can look at her broken friendship with Harry two seconds after the fact with indifference, indicates she wasn't his friend to begin with (or just not really Hermione... I think I'll go with that one). Indeed, this Harry isn't Harry either, to say nothing of Cedric and Viktor.

Oh, and Dumbledore isn't going to be "flustered" by Hermione asking a few simple questions, at least not visibly so (certainly not in a public setting). We're talking about a guy so in control that he can act casual around Voldemort, or as Albus would say, 'Hello, Tom'. I think Dumbledore is a complete jackass, but I'll admit he does have the ability to remain as cool as a cucumber.

The real ending? Dumbledore Obliviated all of the witnesses, rewired Hermione's personality with an obliviation and a few loyalty/compulsion charms, then sent her toddling back, contentedly enjoying her lemon drop, to the Gryffindor common room to help Harry learn to die. Die. DIE for the Greater Good! Ahem...

The author apparently isn't familiar enough with actual men (as opposed to the dumb, slavering demons she employs to depict them) to be properly acquainted with their anatomy, so for future reference, if you're forcing someone's dick into their own mouth, the operative phrase is 'go blow yourself' not 'go fuck yourself'.

If you have your heart set on saying 'fuck', then aim for the anus, it's closer and requires less time/effort to reach. I know for a fact that women have them too, so use that as a reference and then extrapolate.

Personally, I believe Hermione to be above such gauche behavior. If she were truly that wronged, that angry, I believe she could find revenge without stooping to such behavior.

Also, the phrase 'AK-ing' in reference to casting the Killing Curse on someone is... ugh. If you have to use it at all, use it in dialogue, not in the narrative text.

A few of her stories could be good/interesting if she'd just reel in some of the blown out of proportion, over the top, ridiculousness. Everything is turned up to 11, the men's stupidity, the betrayal, her anger, her revenge, her popularity, her fashion sense (wtf!), her enemy's/her death. It's all inflated to laughable extremes (even when the betrayal comes from a fellow womyn, Ginny). Toning down the blatant man hate would be a start.

I know it's a common tactic to imply that the author shares the character's opinion (in this case a scorching anti-male attitude), in order to mock, denigrate, or somehow discredit them, but when story after story is filled with the same incendiary denouncement of the male gender, you pretty much have to assume it's the author's opinion, not just their characters' (and she has made repeated disparaging remarks about male authors and the 'male voice', writing-wise, being inferior or somehow less desirable than female authors and their writing).

Every author puts a part of themselves in their stories. In HP fandom, we tend to look at authors who give Harry (or any other prominent character) likes and dislikes that match their own as being amateurish. Bearing that in mind, an author who lets his/her personal bugaboos infect nearly every sentence of nearly every story should, sadly, be considered as being in the same league.

The world is full of strong, successful women who don't hate men. Despite what Rowling did to her heroine in the last two books, I believe Hermione to be one of them.

 

Clearly someone incredibly awesome.

 

The best part of this fic was this:

Spoiler

Twenty years later, Harry Quisling Potter had his revenge, AK-ing the Dark Lady Jane in the back when she thought that their fifth lifetime truce was still in effect.

The rest however, was pathetic. Seriously, Hermione flustering Dumbledore? Hermione cursing? Rampant OOC-ness and MarySue-ness jumps at you from the very beginning of the fic.

 

She has an LJ, and it's painfully obvious that Warlocke is spot on about her fear of Weiner.

Some of the comments are worth the price of admission

 

I'm not really sure what I can add to the previous comments. Other than the characterization is so off it hurts. I can imagine she'd argue she's working off the characters Rowling provided, which - perhaps if she's reading the blackmarket Kurdish translation could be true.

Her LJ is fucking hillarious though. I'd actually recommend creating a thread just to quote the shit there. Such as this, where she is arguing for Snape/Hermione:

"While Hermione ships with anyone, the vast majority of fics ship her with Draco, Ron, Harry, and Snape. The last may seem squicky, but probably has the highest quality of fics since only the best (and almost exclusively female) writers attempt it - there's so much emotional baggage to overcome. "

She is so right that only females can produce high quality writings. True fact: Stephen King didn't get published until he got a vagina surgically grafted onto his crotch.

1/5

 

Dude, she's making six figures, so we are all the obvious losers here.

 

Depends where the comma is.

 

That was also written back in March of '08.

She started writing again in August of 08, when the economy began its freefall.

It's quite possible that she's no longer making 6 figures.

 

Fixed that for you.

 

Horrible, horrible writing.

-1/5 for wasting my time.

 

The lack of misspellings doesn't make it good writing.

Right, Moron isn't actually covered in vomit, he just looks like he is.

 

This story is a proof that passable spelling and grammar aren't enough.

1/5

 

I was looking around at her live journal and found this interesting challenge.

I honestly think its hilarious and needs to be done. It should also contain H/R, as she hates that ship with a passion and be posted on her page.