Quasi-dupe:

 

POA: Bursting with happiness enough to drive away a million dementors, Harry performs a victory lap at the top speed of firebolt after winning Quidditch Cup for the first time. Forgot about the hoops while waving the snitch at the crowd. Damn.

 

After inheriting 6234;79423y5dfr3425 Galleons, Harry walks into the combined vaults of his wealth.

At which point one of the stacks of gold, which seemed to extend for miles, tipped over and crushed Harry.

for everything else; there's Mastercard

 

After Dumbledore places Harry at the Dursley's door step, Mrs. Figg's cats gang-rape Harry.

 

This idea reminded me of this fic, I don't think I should post it as idea when it was already written.

 

I henceforth refer everyone to my signature. The premise - Tonks gets peeved at Harry for marrying Ginny instead of her.

 

Harry's visiting in the Forbidden Forest. The Ford Angela tries to give him a hug.

 

Harry is on his was to find the Basilisk and rescue Ginny. It surprises him on the way down... he doesn't look away.

 

2nd year: When the Trio takes Polyjuice, Harry changes into Pansy Parkinson instead of Gregory Goyle. He carries on with the plan anyway, only to get knocked out and dragged away upon entering the Slytherin common room. He awakens in the middle of being violently raped by a 15 year old (thrice held back) Goyle, and dies from shock.

Meanwhile, Pansy Parkinson enjoys her first ache-free evening in months.

 

Related one:

CoS: Riddle does the intelligent thing and orders the basilisk to wait, mouth open, at the bottom of the entrance pipe.

 

Didn't mean to repeat one, whoops.

1st Year: On the way to the front gates of Hogwarts, Harry's boat tips over. The giant squid was hungry, and Harry makes a nice appetizer.

2nd Year: Harry was very fast while running into Platform 9 3/4's solid wall. It's a shame he never got back up.

3rd Year: Unable to sleep, Harry leans against the portrait of the Fat Lady, debating if he should take a walk under his invisibility cloak. Suddenly, the portrait is torn to shreds and Harry with it.

 

First Year: Harry dodges too late against the troll, and is splattered by a well-placed swing of the club.

Second Year: Harry forgets that one lucky spell when faced with Aragog's family in the forest. Eaten by spiders.

Third Year: Lupin murders Harry in werewolf form, while Hermione and Buckbeak watch.

Fourth Year: Dragon swats Harry into the dirt and roasts his corpse. Or killed swiftly while waiting for the Firebolt to arrive.

Fifth Year: Tortured into vegetation by Delores Umbridge.

Sixth Year: Jumps in front of Snape's AK to protect Dumbledore.

Seventh Year: Eaten by Nagini in Godric's Hollow.

 

OotP: At Sirius's will reading, Harry finds out that he is Snape's child due to said Snape raping Lily, and promptly kills himself after finding out his facial features change to those of Snape.

 

On his around the world training trip, Harry never disinfects his water. As a result, he gets multiple parasitic worm infections in his brain and instestines. Dies from dehydration via scours (chronic diarrhea).

 

Harry has a rare allergy to Felix Felicis... and dies a painful death after ingesting it.

Ron has Harry convince him that landing the flying car on the roof of the Hogwarts Express will work. Cue Harry's death by physics or some such.

Harry's stubborn streak is promptly ended when he refuses to acknowledge that Umbridge's Blood Quill nicked a vein, and he's bleeding out all over her kitten plates.

Huh, that is a little therapeutic.

 

Harry travels back into the body of his 11 year old self to set the future straight. He dies from a curse shot in Diagon Alley while on a shopping trip, it appears that Voldermort also traveled back in time.

 

Everyone, shut up. A valid point was raised, I agreed and took action and deleted everything, so back to the topic.

Following the promises of candy from a strange man, little Harry is abducted and never seen again.

After reaching the Triwizard cup again in the graveyard, Harry discovers that it only has enough energy left to transport one wizard. Half of Harry and half of Cedric appear in the maze.

 

Harry has sex with Ginny, after he has discovered what he has done he commits suicide because of all the disgust he feels because of it

He thinks he can fly without a broom, to prow this he goes to the astronomy tower and jumps from it. He can not fly and ends up as a wet stain on the ground.