Title: Partners
Author: muggledad
Rating: M
Genre: Romance/Adventure
DLP Category: Romance, Indy Harry, or General
Pairing: Harry Potter/Daphne Greenglass
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Having the right partner can make life much smoother. The right persons can complement each other's strengths and support each other's weakness. Love really does make the world go 'round, especially with a Dark Lord after your blood. HP/DG
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5012016/1/Partners

The writing style is solid. The characterizations believable. There's even a bit of Ron and Molly bashing. Some clichés do apply, but they're a bit less blatant than I'm used to seeing. It's also clean copy, which is refreshing. And even though there are only five chapters so far, each chapter tops 10,000 words, so it's not annoyingly short. I also like the non-standard pairing. There just aren't enough stories out there that don't pair Harry with Hermione, Ginny, or *shudder* Draco.

 

'The bruised, bloody and broken body of Harry Potter stumbled down the sidewalk of Privet Drive.'

I lasted exactly one line of this story. ROFL @ Pussy Harry getting abused by a walrus. Fail.

 

yeah. But that's so standard I don't even notice anymore. It gets better, trust me.

 

A rebuttal:

Massively abused!Harry inexplicably escapes out of Number 4 and ends up at Potter summer house, conveniently enough located next to the Greengrass summer house, where Daphne is conveniently enough staying because she's physically abused by her father as well... I think we all know where it goes from here.

These cliches riddle what admittedly, is a well written fic if we limit 'well written' to putting one word in front of another. What those words end up saying, on the other hand...

The romance is also poorly paced (not to mention poorly executed). I think it took all of three days for Harry and Daphne to share the innermost thoughts, to dating, to becomming engaged.

2/5 at best.

 

By the standards of most DLP members - this fic is dead in the water. While the "Fifteen" is an almost a new concept - there is virtually nothing original here. There is excessive Dursley abuse referenced. The romance goes from 1 to 60 in less than 2 seconds.

That said I fucking love this fic. The writing is solid. Although Daphne skirts Mary-Sue status I'm enjoying reading this story. Intellectually I should hate this fic, but I just can't stop reading this.

I hearby dub this the In'N'Out of HP fanfiction. It's fast food - but I wants moar.

4/5

 

Dear fucking god.

You know if this fic just started with Harry and Daphne in love I might have been able to get through it. If it began with the relationship already established, then sickeningly sweet interaction is expected. But the way it starts with vomit pucks like "The question was on his lips but he daren’t ask it yet. Would you live here with me?" just makes me want to destroy something violently.

Forget slash, Draco, Snape, and abusive ass-raping Dursleys. Shit like this is why I hate.

Sometimes I like romance. Occasionally I will secretly seek out fluff. (Just re-read Jeco's Hope which this author called an influence in fact.) But the putrid, cliched, eye-gouging attempts at romance in this just make me want blood. A Harry/Daphne pairing has so much potential and to see it squandered so horribly on this seeping anal discharge in word form... sigh.

There are not numbers low enough for how fics like this make me feel. And I don't fucking care if I don't sound rational.

I'd recommend slicing your dick open before I recommend this fic.

 

Wow.

Just wow.


Character development is non-existent and the whole plot feels very rushed. Could have been good despite the cliches if the author took the time to flesh out the story a little bit and not just dive headfirst into every new plotbunny.

 

No, just no.

Rushed writing, crap characterizations, way to much poorly done emo shite.

Lowest rating possible from me.

 

Seconded.

I considered being lenient because I know that the author has a decent grasp on the English Language, but the quotes above disabused me of that notion.

EDIT: Took a look at ch 4 to see if it gets better, feels like a totally different story in some aspects. But the beginning is still an ugly shadow, and I'm not a fan of Daphne's characterisation.

2/5

 

I didnt mind it; but yeah once it hit chapter 4/5 and you got past the whole "whirlwind romance" thing it got way better, I hope that the author does well with the politics, that may keep it interesting. 3/5 stars.

 

A Slytherin girl x Harry does not necesarily make a good story, it is new and all but if the plot sucks then there is not much to work with.

That said abused Harry x abused Daphne is pretty annoying, must they both be abused?

 

Found this story a couple of weeks ago but hit the big red X button as soon as Harry asked her to be his girlfriend and pronouncing his love after spending half a day with her. Getting up to that point was a painful read too.

Nonjon already summarized my exact thoughts on the story when I first tried to read it so I'm not gonna bother repeating him here.

2/5 for good grasp of the English language, even if it is wasted on this pile of crap.

 

Yikes; I couldn't finish the first chapter of this one. The author can clearly craft a readable sentence, but the Harry/Daphne meet-cute is one of the most contrived things I've ever seen. I won't rate it, as it apparently gets better, but that first chapter is 2/5 at best.

I recall this author from another story of his--To Stand Against the Darkness (think he's read jbern?)--but I couldn't finish reading that one either. I can't remember why I stopped reading, so it may be a better story in some respects. Has anyone read his other story?

 

"Has anyone read his other story?"

You mean Jberns?

If so, your about to be raged at by some fanboys.

Also, as much of a fan of Harry/Slytherin I am, I am definitely going to be giving this one a miss. Would probably end up ruining my concept of the idea.

 

I believe Mike was referring to the author of this fics - muggledad - other story. "To Stand Against the Darkness" is the name, also mentioned.

On that note, I have come across it before but never read it until now. I managed half of the first chapter before I needed to skip ahead to see if it got better.

That fic immediately showed who Harry was going to end up with the first few lines; "What would Hermione do?".

There's already a contrived way to bring up the prophecy a year early; Voldemort mentioning that Harry was a "child of prophecy".

The massively overused Harry thinking "why do bad guys waste time on how smart they are" thing. That might've been amusing the first few times, but it's so old, and I'm skeptical to believe that's what people would be thinking when they're about to die.

Ron being overly jealous of Harry because Hermione's worried about him.

Ah, better stop. Wrong thread for that. Suffice to say, Mike, that I'm not feeling my interest in that fic. Maybe two years ago I would've.


Now, for this one.

Can't make it through the first chapter. I skipped through the first part given the overdone Dursley abuse. There's no real characterisation here, nor any development that I can see and from what others have said who got further. Nonjon's got the romance angle down pat. Vlad's got it down too.

Writing is decent, but I got nothing capturing my interest. Another Harry/AnyGirl fic where he is abused, escapes for the summer and falls in love with AnyGirl in days. There are very few ones that can pull it off without it being awful, and this ain't one of them.

I'd rate it 1 or 2, but since I didn't read it all, I won't.

 

Woah the line "Will you be my girlfriend" just sucked.
Sorry, couldn't and didn't want to finish this. 1/5

 

I think Imma go with this ^.

And proceed to attempt to get the last 25 minutes of my life back.

Preferably by strangling the author with his own spinal cord.

It...it...just fucking sucked. Hard.


This, however, actually made me snicker.

2/5 for decent writing style. Bastards.

 

Thing is, given the response to later chapters, I think I could stomach the retarded terms of affection and occasionally awful attempts at romance if the relationship were already established. If this fic started after Harry and Daphne had been a couple for a year, I'd look at it completely differently.

Instead it's just frustrating.

 

Can't really find anything to say that hasn't already been said, that said, this is just another example of a fic gathering attention simply because of the pairing. Not the sort of thing that needs be anywhere near our Library.
2/5