The worst part is that the dunce actually linked his MySpace profile to his Fanfiction profile. Apparently he is fifteen and a Tokio Hotel fan.

The fact that he's fifteen and can't spell properly, even though it's his first language is bad, but a Tokio Hotel fan too?

Oh my God...

 

Actually - in his defense the band is called Tokio Hotel. It confused the hell out of me when I first saw it on Dutch TV.

It's a German band, so I presume the Germans spell Tokyo as Tokio.

I was very sad when I realized that the lead singer was a guy. Me and my roommate at the time spent a week arguing over which gender that lame ass was.

 

There is a girl in my year at my University who is a Tokio Hotel fan. She thinks she's hardcore though.



The fact I'm saying this has nothing to do with having struck out. Nothing at all I say!

 

That's... that's kind of sad, really... There's nothing hardcore about Tokio Hotel, especially since the lead singer seems to have some gender issues. I was thoroughly surprised when I learned she was a he. That, of course, does not bode well when you're in a rock(?) group...

Oh and for the thread I found this festering piece of unmentionable evil:

With Lilies Bedight by IsabelleMalfoyPotterSnape reviews
Severus Snape is a Veela who refuses to bond with his mate. But like all soul mates, they find a way to be together. Revised.Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,969 - Reviews: 19 - Published: 3-28-07 - Harry P. & Severus S.

Snape is not and will never be a Veela. Being a Veela would imply he is beautiful which we know from canon that he isn't. The fact the man has greasy hair implies he never showers and that must mean he smells bad as well. Plus, I think wearing robes everyday would kinda help that smell along.

Apparently, being pansexual means you're bisexual, but only for the love? What the...

Just the mental picture is enough for me to vomit uncontrollably...

So, are they in love or not? Pretty decent line, but pretty stupid of Harry to admit to Snape. I used to have this hot teacher in History class, but that didn't mean I would blurt out my undying lust for her at any random given moment... (Maybe I was wrong? Huh...)

Wrong, the line should have been:

... if you like slash. If you don't, it should have been like this:

*Sniff* If that's not art, I don't know what is!

 

Ass. I was trying to eat breakfast when you put your Harry/fruit/Snape/orifice stuff here.

 

... I just had a truly amusing vision (it hit me all at once,) of what Snape would do if a student brought food into his dungeon. Anyone want to place bets on exactly which potion would be poured unobtrusively into Harry's lunch box? Snape would have a wonderful time observing fascinating side effects.

 

Harry Potter and the Awakening of the Heir » by pami1993 Harry does an inheritance test and finds out he is a king, and Dumbledore's grandson. Moreover, he is now married and has children : great story make sure to review!

wow...who knew a test could do all that?

Oooo how sweet *gag*
oh...then there is a lovely scene in the bank...

Hey wait...Isn't this stuff I usually see in evil!Dumbledore stories?
and then:

wow...elf and vampire huh? who knew

It's enough to make a girl want to puke.

Anything else? Why do people feel they have to give Harry EVERYTHING
~Kitti

 

Ninety-nine billion galleons? Does Earth even have enough noble metals to cover that? Anyway, that's many times more than the combined GDP of all nations.

Or did the author use comma as decimal separator? Then it would be just ninety-nine galleons...

Either way, it's no wonder that Harry and Tonks were shocked.

 

He could use the 99 galleons to buy 99 luftballoons.

 

He should use his 99 billion galleons to attack the Protestant England! He should call it ... the Armada!

 

Coming of Age » reviews Fenrir has been waiting 16 years to take what is rightfully his, I hope Harry is ready for him.

Harry is not certainly not Harry in this story.

 

Awesome find, man.

Exactly when did Gabrielle suddenly become Lavender?

My wrong-nometer is off the charts!

That... actually kinda made sense... in a star struck obsessed money-hungry whorish way...

Is anyone in this story not dominant?

I.. I'm speechless. Once again, Lavender? What the fuck is she doing in this family? And Luna, of all people? And 'Grager'? Lol. Lastly, who the hell is Luke?

Ahh, of course. How else would all of the other characters not fuck him senseless with their giant cocks of awesome slash-ness? I'm thinking Draco in particular...

Who the fuck is Patricia?

Did all of three of them have a son or does the author mean Harry? Kudos for the 'Lilies'.

Oh God, the author really likes slash... or just deluding himself.

Draco and Ron's cocks are no good here! Harry wuws Fenrir!

I really like how the author discard common biology for his own twisted ideas, because as we all know, males can get pregnant. Use protection ffs! Them girlz will just leave you if you get knocked up!

And of course how the author decides to change what he didn't like about canon, like the characters' last names and their ancestry. I mean, obviously J.K Rowling got it all wrong, Luna and Lavender are obviously Gragers.

This was just the first chapter. The lolz are strong in this one.

 

Another one that came up today. How can someone write fanfic like this?

Mudblood

 

Oh, yuck. That's really really bad. And not in an awesome way.

 

Wow. And I thought the normal written fics were bad.

 

I just...I mean...words fucking fail me. How can 500 words of text be so bad in so many different ways?

 

My god! I cant wait to see what happens next!

I read it 5 minutes ago and I am still laughing.

 

If you guys thought that was bad, here is something worse.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4994467/1/imma_Wiserd

God knows what the author had in mind while writing this story.

 

I doubt they had much of anything in mind. Or in their mind.