Title: Diablerie
Author: belleradh
Rating: M
Genre: General/Supernatural
DLP Category: Independent or maybe Dark Arts
Pairing: None apparent
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Ah, for the love of evil...
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5089231/1/Diablerie

Hey, Belleradh has a new fic out. Yay.

So Harry is possessed by a demon and loses all rights as a human. Only one chapter, but it's looking pretty good so far. I thought it should be posted here.

 

Link? Where is it posted on?

 

EDIT: Okay you fixed the link. Good.

 

Oh sweet bloody hell a crackfic ended up here? Are you TRYING to get me roasted alive?!

I mean it's nice you like it but it's really not up to DLP standards by a long reach. No beta, Hell it's not even outlined!

Seriously, it's just a steam-venting exercise. Fun and games. *flails*

 

I didn't notice any spelling or grammar mistakes, and if you plan on continuing, I intend to follow it. I figured others would want to do the same.

(Yeah, yeah, I forgot the link. Oh, well, fixed it.)

 

Belleradh, this has to be, so far, my personal favourite of all your fica. Reminds me in certain aspects the Denarian Series, but with a Canon Harry and a tricksy demon.

Favourite line?

Had a flashback to wolfenstein games where you kiled Nazis who messed with the occult. ... Fairly random I know.

5/5

 

Probably the best fic where Harry is a magical creature. The male-veela! gay-fey! Harry stories offer no competition whatsoever.

The only thing is that this fic is under Humor/Spiritual, and during the course of 20,000 word showed signs of only one of those genres.

I like that the ramifications of his compromised humanity are being explored.

It would be awesome if Harry hunted centaurs to feed himself.

4/5

 

Oh, the humor was because I wasn't taking the story seriously, and spiritual, because she's a demon. Punny, no?

I'll go make it right.. god. People taking my stuff like it's supposed to make sense. There needs to be a whipped-cream genre. I'd be all over that one.

Made it Gen/Supernatural since that seems like a safe catch-all.

 

Eh, I was hoping for something along the lines of a kick-ass demon with hellfire. Apparently not though. (Shezza has poisoned me)

 

I read maybe till half of first (and only) chapter and had enough of this classic Azkaban!Harry setup (even if it wasn't that).

I don't think it should be placed in the library.

 

To be honest, I thought I'd gotten over my creature!Harry phase. Apparently that is not the case, as this has just proven. The words 'need moar' come to mind as well.

 

What amuses me is I've not read any Azkaban or creature Harry stories before - honest! They just aren't my style. So the cliches, if they're around, are more logical progression. Sorry for that.

Wait, lie, I read RB's Lord of Caer but I think that's a bit different. Anyway, hope it manages to stay interesting, but I agree with KrzaQ, I never intended this to be Library material

 

I like it.

The concept of Harry and an Other sharing the same mind and body hasn't been done too well before (with the exception of the Denarian trilogy), but this story does a good job of it.

It feels... fresh, somehow. The dialogue between Harry and the Other is humorous, and the powers that Harry's been granted with are intriguing. If this continues, I'd definitely be willing to follow it.

4/5.

 

The scene about him losing his rights really reminds me of all the scenes where Ministry seizes his vaults and Weasleys & co kill Hedwig and tear his cloak. I guess it's not the same, but the feeling of unfairness is.

Also, I don't think I can remember reading creature!Harry that wasn't fail.

 

The only mistake I saw was missing an end quote when Dumbledore was telling Harry about his new status.

My only complaint, so far, is that we enter the story at an odd point. It doesn't matter that you fully explain the setting at the end of your AN/Summary chapter, this stinks of bad writing/laziness, and should be corrected. Nothing major though, just a little insight into what is going in Harry's head right before he explodes should be sufficient.

Other than that, good first chapter. I especially enjoyed the byplay between Harry and his other (better) half.

 

I found it extremely interesting. I got the alert that it had been posted, looked at the summary and kind of waffled on whether or not to bother and am glad I did. As everyone else has said, other than Shezza and one of the other DLP members, I've never come across a Creature!Harry that didn't de-volve into extreme gayness at some point.

NEED MOAR! does seem to fit the bill on this one...

 

This.
Also could not force myself to read till the end of the chapter.

Evil ministry take away his money and his rights yet Harry stoically stays to fight the war... Seen enough of this shit already.

 

Huh, don't think I've had him 'returning to the war' yet... so far all I've said post-event was a return to Hogwarts, because officially, Dumbledore has 'leased' him, as a way to keep his own prerogatives in place. I don't expect that to go over so well. I'm still in setting and characterization, so trying to predict the plot out to the end of story seems a bit stupid, to be blunt.

Maybe you should wait to see what else I put down before trying to write my plot for me, hmm? Just a suggestion.

 

This story is fun to read to pass time but did not appeal to me as great. Maybe it is the first chapter and the start, but it reminds me of those annoying self pity angry Harry stories which drag on about Harry whining about life being unfair and people treat him like crap but does nothing about it. I am very surprised he is willing to stay in a world that treats him like an animal and expect him to save the day when needed. Reminds me of the old days when they sacrifice people as offerings to unknown entities but in Harry's case it is self inflicted. I hope the demon did not show it's weakness without benefit. 3/5 for now

 

Yep. You are right. He did not commit himself to a war yet. But the main problem of this chapter is lack of logic.
Ok. Imagine for a second that one day all your possessions and basic rights are stripped away. And you have a wonderful resource such as magic. Would you stay in a country that has betrayed you?
It always amase me that Harry just take all the crap in this kind of stories. Why not try to run away? Or just black mail the ministry that they go fuck themselves and that he would not fight Voldemort for them.

Your Harry does not act like a real person should.
Another point is the classic betrayal of his friends... Fuck... This is so overused that I dont even want to rant about it.

So what do we have? A classic emo!Harry gets abused by the ministry and is betrayed by his friends. Add just alittle angst and you will get another shitty story that can be easily found on ff.net.

Not saying that you are an awfull writer. I like some of your fics. The point is that this story has not shown anything to catch an interest yet.

All of this is just IMHO.