The Rape Chronicles by Chazz girl ...I'm not telling you here! YOU READ IT LAZY PEOPLE!Rated: M - English - Angst/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 931 - Published: 6-9-09 - Tom R. Jr. & Severus S.

The title itself screams of fail, and the summary just makes it worse... And no, I have not clicked...

 

A Death Eater's Daughter » reviews
Briney Dolohov, daughter of the infamous Death Eater, had accepted her destiny, but things don't go as planned once she lays eyes on a fun-loving young Weasley.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 62,270 - Reviews: 119 - Updated: 6-9-09 - Published: 3-30-09 - Fred W. & OC

The Torie Potter Project:Living life in his Shadow » reviews
1st in "The Torie Potter Project" series. Pretty crappy at summaries. It's a Regulus Black with an OC story. It's funny, dramatic, and not even OOC really! It's my 1st HP story and there's not many ReggieOC stories out here anyways! So R&R and thanks.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,414 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 6-10-09 - Published: 6-9-09 - Regulus B. & OC

Bloody Elves » reviews
Harry-wood elf Draco-cloud elf the two are made for each other and with Voldemort gone it should be easy right? So what is this about war and prophecies? Will they be able to overcome this obstacle and go on with their lives or is it to much for Harry?
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 14,031 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-10-09 - Published: 4-10-09 - Draco M. & Harry P.

 

Lucky you. I clicked... and now I need mindbleach. A lot of it.

 

"Cloud Elf?"

<.< ....... >.>

"Cloud Elf."

I don't think I can emphasize this point strongly enough. "Cloud Elf."

 

What exactly IS a cloud elf? I have heard of wood elves, high elves, dark elves, night elves, blood elves, house elves and Santa's elves, but i have never seen a "cloud elf".



~Kitti

 

They are elves made of cloud. Flighty, tempestuous fellows belonging to the clans of Cirrus, Nimbostratus, and Cumulonimbus. They often display a fondness for bagels, and have temperments ranging between the hazy and nonexistent. Rather insubstantial fellows, the kind you'd think almost didn't exist.

Oh wai-

 

Noir et Blanc » by The Morrigu reviews

AU. My Name is Yuki Saint-Clair, I am the Beauxbatons Triwizard Champion. I am also Harry Potter, the baby who destroyed the Dark Lord 16 years ago. This is the story of the end. Or maybe the beginning? Darkness is coming.
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Mystery/Supernatural - Chapters: 8 - Words: 62,639 - Reviews: 175 - Updated: 4-14-09 - Published: 2-25-07 - - Harry P./OC

One of the most tremendously gay summaries I have ever seen. I remember glancing at the laptop screen of a Japanophile classmate, where I saw she went by Yuki on a forum, and calling her Yucky henceforth.

I shouldn't say it, but I'm glad my stories all have more reviews than that one.


I checked the profile of the writer, and found an amusing poll:

That's right, she changed Harry's name in every single fic she wrote.

 

Could be worse. Like odd anagrams of HP. Or of him + his slash pairing.

Hmm. Maybe it's been done.

 

Well, to be completely fair, she DID keep him as "Harry" in two of them: Harry Cullen *retches* and the High Lord one - he even could have been Harry Potter there, just with a title tacked on

 

How will I go on by Lauraw18 Ho Ginny felt after Harry broke uo with her at the end of HBP.

The typo made me laugh. Then again, it might not be a typo.

4 brothers Harry adopted! » by teamfred reviews Harry's brother is believed to be the brat-who-lived. Harry is adopted and has 4 brothers. Draco, Neville, and a boy named Zero. JAmes and Lily are alive. NO slash Harry/Tonks; Other Paings: Idk wait 2c.No Umbridge.Full summary inside. Original i think!

What cruel parents would name their kid "Zero"?

~Kitti

 

Insightful parents

/filler

 

Or fans of Code Geass. Make that time-traveled parents.

 

Seeing the lulzly title, I couldn't resist clicking it - a foolish mistake, I admit. Apparently Lord Voldemort is a male Veela and Percy rapes him to take revenge for almost killing his brother.

 

For your viewing pleasure...

 

uke:uke:uke:uke:

 

I wonder, does anyone else share my irrational hatred of Vampires in fanfiction, regardless and Vampire mythology in general?

Whenever I see an author writing about Vampires I can picture them sitting there and thinking "Damn, I wish I was a Vampire, as they are fucking AWESOME, how about I convey how AWESOME Vampires are in my story, while destroying my story in every single way"

 

While I don't share an irrational hatred for vampires in general, I do understand not liking vampires in fanfiction that is based on stories that do not mention vampires even exist. I feel the same way about most magical creatures just thrown in a fanfic just to give the mary-sue special powers. I guess the part that annoys me the most is people write these magical creatures in the story, but seem to forget the weaknesses each magical creature has. I have gotten to a point where I avoid stories that say anything about a dark or magical creature in the summary.

~Kitti

 

I tried to find good ones. But there were so many bad ones, I just had to share them.

 

I don't hate vampires. In fact, I love the Forever Knight version of the vampire, as evidenced by my crossover. Then again, FK vamps are supremely human under all the bloodsucking and superhuman powers. They're very much a product of their mortal lives. What I do hate, however, is tossing vampires into the HP mix with absolutely no mentions of weaknesses and the fact that nine times out of ten, a vampire shows up as an excuse for slash. In short, vampires become an excuse for wildly OOC behavior.

Me, well, not so much. My Harry-raised-by-vampires is straight, gonna end up with Susan Bones, and has a family who loves him. A strange family, yeah, but a family. And Nicolas, at least, has had to be extremely careful to have fed well so he doesn't accidentally attack his mortal adopted son in a blood rage. I've done my best to keep true to all the characters. Which reminds me... with my brother and sister-in-law taking the baby on vacation for a week next weekend, I'll actually have some writing time....