Several years after DH, but before the epilogue, Auror/slacker/bum Harry finds a stray dementor roaming the streets and destroys it (fire, destroying the brain, removing the cloak, whatever works). A few weeks later while having tea with Luna, he mentions that there have been a lot of dementors appearing around his neighborhood recently and it's been a pain to relocate them all. It seemed like they were just coming back over and over again.

They weren't being destroyed because there were simply too many of them (Hermione was already on his case for killing one, let alone a whole group).

Luna asks him when it started, which was just after he got rid of the first. She suggests that maybe he killed their leader, thereby becoming it, and they were looking for his guidance. Since it came from Luna, Harry immediately discounts the theory.

After Harry apparates to just a few streets away from his home, he feels chills. It gets worse as he gets closer to his house. Because he is not a total wuss, he does not pass out and just ignores the feeling. Eventually he turns/sees/notices he's been followed by a cluster of dementors. Harry is little more than disturbed, because their appearance was not followed by screaming and a light show. Seeing as there was no one else nearby that he could see, he figures that he will round them up in his backyard and firecall some pest control.

One patronus later has them moving in a loose circle after Harry. When he finally reaches his house, he notices that there are a lot of dementors. A lot. There is no depression ensuing, so Harry counts his blessings before having his patronus try and move the dementors.

Unsuprisingly, it fails. His patronus finally fades away. Mentally exhausted from a long day, Harry frustratedly shouts at the dementors to just get out of the way. They clear a path for him. He walks down suspiciously, wand out.

From the relative safety of the second floor of his house, he decides to test Luna's idea before calling the pest control. Through a warded window, he gives various commands. Form this shape, do loops, act like this, etc. Harry initially feels embarrased yelling out the orders and is surprised when they actually obey.

Harry gets his two way mirror and calls for Luna on the other end. He asks her to come over, particularly floo (Harry didn't floo home earlier because he wanted to patrol the streets or something). After she comes over he asks her to elaborate on her dementor leader idea and explains what happened. He asks her what he should do.

Make a circus with them, she says. Dementors eat happiness and everybody likes a nice circus.

Deciding it would be a half decent idea and some easy money, Harry goes for it. It's a traveling circus and in the muggle world, lest the Ministry make complaints about it. All the dementors have a role, from acrobats to refreshment sellers to being that one guy who jumps through a hoop. One or two patronus(patroni?) typically walk around the audience to ensure the dementors don't get to close. Understandably, all the muggles entering the circus tent are drugged/spelled higher than kites.

Hermione catches wind of this from her parents, who happened to be in the area when the circus was being held. She goes to Harry first, outraged and horrified. She misunderstands the situation, under the impression that the dementors were being forced/mistreated and the muggles were being taken advantage of. This is mostly true.

Annoyed because he managed to get away with it for a couple of years at this point, Harry decides to remove the threat rather than risk the safety of his circus by letting Hermione keep it. No, he doesn't kill her.

He transfigures her into an otter, or any other animal. One imperius later and bam, presto, another member of the circus. Harry is a little sloppy in cleaning up his trail, so Luna picks up the slack. She is his accomplice, helping him keep the circus secret and providing him an alibi for whenever the circus is open and running.

Eventually, other characters learn about it and approach Harry. Same thing as with Hermione. Many people get suspicious about all the disappearances and most of them lead to Harry. Whether these people told other people they were meeting Harry or they had to go to x area, coincidentally the same place as him, word gets out that something is wrong.

Daily Prophet smears and all that jazz.

Harry begins luring the slanderers to his circus to transfigure, imperius, rinse, and repeat. He eventually has a good chunk of Wizard England/Hogwarts/whatever you can call it as part of his performance. Everyone left is either too scared to do anything but speculate quietly to themselves or has been swayed to rat on any non-circus believers. They have all seen the punishments for interfering with the circus.

Harry and Luna enjoy their circus. All is well.

Wait, what? ): There are a lot of problems with this but I wanted to get the idea down before I forgot it.

 

My thoughts exactly.

And muggles can't see dementors.

 

Dementor Circus could make for a decent dream sequence I suppose.

Betrayal reversed: There are a lot of fics were the Weasleys have been dosing Harry and Hermione with Love Potions or other such shit.

How about Harry and Hermione controlling Ron and Ginny, for the Greater Good?

Darker versions of the latter characters are optional. And this plot bunny requires much more forethought than I'm willing to expend.

 

Knew I was missing something. Maybe just in plain sight, because wizards couldn't care less about 'mistreatment' of magical creatures anyway.

It probably does work better as a dream sequence, though.

 

Harry Potter, Master of Death, becomes a reliable member of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement by using the Resurrection Stone to bring the recently deceased back to life long enough to solve the mystery behind their death. However, one such death, the murder of his own son, unravels a mystery that can't be solved quite so simply - is it Voldemort? is it Death Eaters? is it a new threat? or was it Harry himself!...

*gasp*

 

^ Sounds a lot like that new TV show pushing dasies (I think that is what it is called) except a bit darker.

 

I bet Pomfrey would. An argument for Pomfrey the Necromancer:

1. All that time spent healing children's broken body parts after playing "dangerous sports," spell damage, dueling, pranking, and other reckless behavior leaves a lasting impression on her: a desire to cure everything and prevent all injury, if possible.

2. Next to Trelawney, she's probably the most isolated Hogwarts staff member there is; who knows what she gets into with all that free time?

3. How come she's always working alone, when there's a castle full of elves that could provide support? Granted she probably isn't all that busy (see 2nd point), but it wouldn't be unreasonable to see at least one elf turn down a bed, or provide a potion for her, or transport injured students straight to the hospital wing, etc.

(Maybe the elves call her She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or something, I dunno.)

Plot A: some kid died while in her care, and she brought him/her back to "life" in a twisted way to keep from violating her hippocratic oath. The downward spiral continues from there.

Plot B: she finds a way to completely remove any growth defects or flaws from the human body (like those super nutrient/growth potions of cliched-fanfic fame), but it only works when the person is dead. But she doesn't care: she's found the end-all, be-all Cure!

Every person who goes to see the school nurse, no matter how insignificant the injury or ailment, will be diagnosed as a serious problem that must be Cured. She'll restore their minds (via a little Horcrux manipulation), and the Cured students will appear smarter/stronger/beautifuler/better eyesight/more powerful (pick your cliche, basically); the process will even have a wonderful-tasting potion, so the students will undergo the Cure voluntarily. But over time the enchantments will wear out, reverting the students to mindless inferi. The way I'm visualizing it uses elements from Stepford Wives and Resident Evil.

Plot C: magical painting as a beginner's tutelage into necromancy. Completely unrelated to the above, and I have no real ideas behind this one. I just think it'd be hilarious if there were an obvious connection between the magics used to invoke a wizarding portrait and the magic used to create inferi.

 

Teen Wolf : A Hogwarts Story.

Fucking mind blowing brah. :awesome

 

There is actually already a story like this. Here is the link.

http://grangerenchanted.com/enchant/viewstory.php?sid=1819&ageconsent=ok&warning=1

The story is not horrible. Actually a little interesting. Good for a late night read in any case.

Edit: Warning- The few other stories I browsed. :shudder:

 

An idea I was going to run with after Skitter but probably will never now I've started Divining was:

After the attack on Godric's Hollow, Dumbledore meets Hagrid at Number 4 and finds, much to his horror, that there's no trace of magic on Harry. The attack by Voldemort killed enough of Harry that it turned him into a squib. To avoid Harry spending the rest of his life being praised and becoming increasingly bitter for something he can't even remember, let alone repeat, Dumbledore decides that Harry would be better living life as a muggle. From here onwards he assumes that although Harry was marked, Neville was also metaphorically 'marked' by the attack on his parents and focuses on him as the 'chosen one'.

Harry the first eleven of his life with the Dursleys, being increasingly picked on and isolated and picked on, as in canon and unlike canon goes to Stonewall High School, where he, as disillusioned youths so often do, falls in with a seriously shitty crowd of people.

Voldemort's return to power takes much longer than before, with Neville or Ron or Hermione or Dumbledore defeating him at the Philosopher's Stone and Horcrux!Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets. Sirius Black escapes in third year and promptly gets kissed whilst searching for Harry, meaning Pettigrew never returns to Voldemort, meaning there's no resurrection in fourth year.

At the end of Neville's final year however, Barty Crouch Jr. kills his father and escapes, returns to Voldemort and resurrects him, then promptly kills Neville as a grandstanding gesture of 'Yeah? Well fuck you Dumbledore.' Dumbledore then realizes that although he's been telling people for years that Harry is dead, he's going to have to bring him out of 'retirement' and goes to find him.

Harry on the other hand, via deus ex machina of Voldemort being reborn has regained his magic and spent two weeks of seriously weird shit happening to him. He's eighteen, been out of school ever since he fucked off from the Dursley's two years ago and is now living in London making a respectable income doing a not so respectable job. I was going to have him have a pregnant girlfriend as well, just to enhance a) the chav factor of Harry and b) that he's quite happy pottering along in his life.

As his magic starts going a bit ape shit however, he attracts the attention of the ministry, who's eyes pop out as they see Harry Potter's name appear on their radar, likewise Voldemort and the Death Eaters realize that Harry is still alive and so the Ministry, Voldemort and Dumbledore all start looking for Harry, who from his solely muggle capacity, takes them all to be from 'the authorities' looking for him in relation to his less than legal means.

This was about as far as I got in the plot idea, but needless to say, when Harry is re-introduced into society, either by the Ministry or by Dumbledore, he's severely corrupted by years of abuse and criminal activity and then spends a vast amount of his time kicking ass and taking names and trampling all over the toes of everyone involved in order to completely serve his own interests.

End of the day, whether Harry actually plays a role in the gathering war is completely irrelevant. What is relevant is that Harry comes out on top, sipping fruity cocktails in a bathrobe by the pool in his massive mansion, whilst Voldemort, Dumbledore and the Minister for Magic take dirt naps.

EDIT: This is almost exactly the same idea as Shake me! by RoxieSnape, who knew? Oz apparently. Oh well.

 

I think that story already exists, with Harry having a pregnant girlfriend and is total badass, saves a vampire princess from a slayer. Then they find him and bring him to Hogwarts where he acts all cool and stuff.

Also, he has a bunch of tattoos and piercings, just to make him more cooler.

Cant remember the name though.

 

Shake me by RoxieSnape.

 

I did say that Oz pointed it out, my version sounds a whole lot less faggy ;D

 

Didn't see the edit somehow.

As for how faggy it will be, with the bunny as it stands it could turn out any way. It'll depend on the author as usual. One thing to clearly avoid is having Harry raise the fucking baby, terminate it or leave it with the silly gal.

Oh, and by terminating I don't mean having random Death Eaters finding the girl and torturing her causing a miscarriage. In effect causing Harry to angst and wallow in his filth for the next five chapters, then going complete godmode homicidal rampage and find his soulmate Draco.

Yes, I actually read a fic like that once. I'm scarred for life.

 

Something I'd love to see but never write:

Vernon-centric story, not changing who he is, but attempting to make us feel sympathy for him nonetheless. After all, he did have an extra child dumped on him without any say in the matter - despite how he treated Harry, there's got to be a way to make us feel sympathetic about that. And he's not entirely wrong about wizards - they are dangerous, and many of them would like nothing more than to make Vernon eat his own entrails while still alive. Perhaps could start with Vernon meeting Snape and thus his view of wizards being set in stone forever.

Another idea: Post-OotP, or post-HBP. Harry magically clones himself. 2 people are better than one, right? 2 people can learn twice as much, train twice as hard, and be twice as effective in a fight. There is some magical procedure that makes what one learns go to the other - as really, they're still the same person. Maybe say they share the same soul, across two bodies - like each is a horcrux for the other. It all goes well at first, but as they interact Harry comes to realise that there's something not quite right about his clone... then one day Potter 2.0 disappears, and rumours of Harry Potter, dark wizard, begin to circulate...

Then I have two pure Stargate ideas:

Pre-movie. Follows the life of a middle-ranked Goa'uld, trying to rise up the ranks and gain power. Goa'uld feudal society is massively underdeveloped in the series. We never see their cities, industrial centres, strongholds, their normal way of life for those of them who are not the System Lords. This fic would explore this, and then maybe lead into an AU of the Stargate series from this Goa'uld's perspective.

AU, detailing how things may have been different if Earth had found the Stargate when they were at the kind of level of technology we see in BSG/Caprica.

 

Okay this started out as Dumbledore becomes Master of the Hallows and kind of expanded. So after leaving Harry with the Dursleys, Dumbledore decides to search through peoples memories to discover if there was anyway for Voldemort to have survived the attack on Harry.

After some searching he comes upon the memory with the ring, and after seeing the mark of the Hallows on it deduces what it is and tracks it down, now instead of just putting it on and trying to use it, he decides to bring it back to his office and examine it for anything that could kill him, after the initial freak out of discovering it's a Horcrux, he decides to try an find out information about it as well as others, for example, he uses his position on the Wizengamot to go to Azkaban and drug Bellatrix Lestange so she can't use Occlumency to prevent him from searching through her memories.

After somehow also obtaining The Locket, The Cup, The Diadem, and Nagini, he decides to examine Harry to see if Voldemort could have accidentally done something to him, after discovering he is a Horcrux, he has someone assist him in an exorcism and gets the Deformed Baby soul fragment out of Harry and destroys the Horcruxes, using magic or impregnating the Sword of Gryffindor with Basilisk venom, after all it's rare and expensive but Dumbledore should be able to track some down for something this important, he destroys all of the Horcruxes except for the Diary.

From here everything goes as in Cannon, Dumbledore gives Harry the cloak, Harry destroys the Diary, etc.

During the Graveyard Scene, Harry is able to pull Cedric out of the way of the Avada Kedavra because he isn't overcome with pain from the Horcrux, and instead of getting killed, Wormtail just puts him in a Body-Bind for later. Then during the Priori Incantantum the ghosts of Harry's parents appear and help him push the spell further so that the Expelliarmus disarms Voldemort, and the Avada Kedavra kills him.

Harry then convinces the shocked Death Eaters that he's either possessed by Voldemort or is a powerful Dark Wizard who has been posing as a student to keep an eye on Dumbledore or something, anyway he gets them all to bow to him as their new Master.
He then has the Death Eaters, Wormtail, and Cedric use the Triwizard Cup to Portkey back to Hogwarts, once there he tackles Wormtail so he can't escape, Sirius who was hiding in the bushes/shadows sees Peter there transforms back into his human form and runs to assist Harry, Dumbledore immobilizes the Death Eaters and binds them together, everyone panics at seeing the Death Eaters, Voldemort, and Sirius, but Dumbledore is able to calm everyone down, or at least make them quietly go back to the castle.

Fudge doesn't freak out like he did in the books because the fact that Voldemort is dead and gone for good quells his fear of the fact that he had returned to power. With Peter there they convince him to clear Sirius of all charges, and the Death Eaters are sent to Azkaban, Harry is awarded an Order of Merlin, and he goes to live with Sirius for the summer seeing as with Voldemort gone, he doesn't need the blood protection at Privet Drive.

That's all I've got so far.

 

That's because it's the end of the story. Voldemort's dead, Horcruxes are gone. Where else could it go after that?

 

Have Dumbledore go "dark," get the Cloak back, and go on his old mindset of The Greater Good propaganda. Or have him get posessed by the diary before Harry can destroy it.

Or enflamed can bandy on about Harry starting the new Marauders, or finding his soul mate, or shopping, or whatever cliched shit that invariably end up in the fic.

 

Here's my idea;; moon wizards.

We know that Wizards achieved flight some time before muggles, and that hey have bubble head charms. Presumably A full body bubble charm and a broomstick could allow one to reach space at some point.

Now say that the Earth is required for magic, à la "Browncoat Green Eyes", so the wizards can get no further than the moon. There they would build their new world, using magic to make it habitable, ensureing muggles wouldnt find it, and that wizards wouldnt think to look.
The ones who left Earth to live there I think would be a collection of pureblood separatists who left at somepoint in the late 1500's (after humanity began to get a better understanding of the solar system) to get away from the muggles. However over the years, due to a rift in information, Earth wizards beleive the Moon wizards died after entering space, and Moon wizarsds believe Earth wizards died out due to a polluting of the blood (in actuality they established the Statute of Secrecy and hid).

The result of this is that on the moon there are millions of wizards living, almost as many as there are on the earth.

Fast-forward to 1969. Muggles land on the moon. The Lunarians arent best pleased about this as over the years their prejudices have magnified into myth and legend. They now beleive muggles are a monsterous race planning to wipe out wizards at all cost and so plan to stop them.

Actually thats pretty silly... But it gives us a place for a full fantasy setting.

 

Housewife Vigilante​

After the events of DH, Molly Weasley, buffed up from her victory over Bellatrix Lestrange becomes a vigilante. Basically a series of kill-offs with epic one liners. For instance:

After 'dating' Crabbe Sr. via owlpost incognito, she turns up at a conjugal visit under polyjuice. She's persuaded him that she's going to help him escape. She comes into the room and he says "Are we breaking out?" she pithily replies "No, we're breaking up."

I had a couple of ideas for this, including a fight between Lucius Malfoy that destroys an owl post office and as she's about to finish him off he says "Woman, you're crazy." and then she looks around and says; "I suppose I did go a bit postal!" as well as a scene where she kills Walden McNair, who's newly reinstated to the ministry of magic. "Walden, you're fired." springs to mind. Killing Rabastan Lestrange with high velocity potatoes: "Eat your vegetables."

Other possible one-liners: "Hang around!" (After a levicorpus) "I think he got the wrong end of the stick" (After a wand related mishap) "He got the boot," (After a boot related mishap) "Go ahead Phlegm, make my day" (After a Fleur related mishap)

Etc, etc.

Obviously, this would be a comedy/parody and I've no idea where it would go from there. I just thought it'd be a sick idea.