I'll start.

"The boy, no man..." is the worst offender. It's especially annoying when Harry is eleven years old and nowhere near being a man. What perplexes me is that every author who uses this apparently thinks it's very impressive. It's not; it just detracts from the reader's experience, so stop using it.

Edit: I meant phrases/words in general, not just dialogue...sometimes I don't think properly.

 

Nor me, in talky dialogues anyway. But in IndieHarry's, its usually Dumbledore musing about Harry's manliness/independent-ness when he expresses to himself that Harry is now a man cause Sirius id dead et cetera.

In actual dialogues, Harry Potter-wise, I'd like to think that "Cub" "Pup" and "Mouldyshorts" are so fucking overused by Sirius/Remus, Sirius/Remus and Fred/George/Harry/Ron respectively.

 

"On the other hand..."

The narrator using cliched phrases while reasoning out Harry's thoughts and decisions.

Fuck that. Show me, don't tell me you shitfucking analseeping assbastard.

 

Yeah, clearly I wasn't thinking. I meant not just annoying dialogue, but annoying phrases/words in general. I'm ashamed.

Anyways...if the thread title could be changed to something more appropriate, that would be great. Pretty please? :awesome

 

LOL. Authors starting sentences with "Well,..." Especially a huuuuge sequence of them.

"Well <fill>."

"Well, <fill.>" A replied.

"Well, <fill>" B Interrupted.

 

Characters having internal dialogues in their head about how they can't be in love with <insert love interest>.

I mean, I talk to myself all the time, but I do it in the first person and I don't talk back as if I'm replying to someone else.

 

Accents done crap. Like with Hagrid or Fleur. If you can't do it, just write normal, not make it so retarded that you can make anything out.

That really annoys me for some reason.

 

"B..b.b..b...b.b.....b.b.b..ut," stammered Fudge, as though a DJ were looping his voice to make a trendy remix.

 

Daphne/Tracey/Slyth!chic --> 'Ice Princess'

'On that fateful night...'

'Tiger Lily' --> *palpitates*
'Lily Flower' --> redundant, much?

You missed 'Prongslet'.

 

This. Seriously, does anyone ever actually stammer like this in real life?

 

Dammit.



Concur on the written accents mess, though.

(Oh, and "New Marauders.")

 

Less of a Harry Potter cliche and more of a general pet peeve...

But when someone shortens 'I dont know' into 'Iunno', I rage internally and hit the back button. The fiction could be the best literary work known to man, and I will not read it for that reason.

 

Well, a word I´ve seen in quite a few fics recently is "Durzkaban".

WTF?

Please avoid these words along with the Marauders pet-names (pronglet, cub, etc.)

 

When authors write the twins' dialogue.

"Well Fred and I,"

"We're just thinking,"

"That we'd,"

"Like to,"

"Have a bit,"

"Of Twincest."

They don't fucking talk like that in canon.

 

Actually, I'm good friends with a guy who has a heavy stutter. Whenever he gets excited or angry, it takes him minutes to spit out a sentence because he stutters so bad. He's the only "infected" one I personally know, but I'm sure there are more out there, just waiting to spread the bad genes amongst our children...

 

Mike Smith, who's part of a set of twins himself, hates them for that.

 

No. I never wanted a telepathic twin. It wouldn't have been cool at all. >_>