The one-character stutter used often bugs the crap out of me: "B-but, why did y-you shut my d-dick in the d-door." Authors need to find some other way to pussify Harry.

Malfoy sneering or smirking his words.

Albus "Dear Boy" Dumbledore. Harry has a name and canon Dumbledore uses it 98% of the time (the train station afterlife being an exception). More than once or so in a fanfic and I'm wishing for Harry to go, "Deer boy? That was my pa. Call me 'Harry,' you Goatfucker."

Luna dropping the name of an animal every time she opens her mouth. "Flip-flopping Kerrynugglers" are not the secret to writing Luna. There is no secret to writing Luna.

 

To be honest, the number of failed fictions out there that tried to right a convincing Luna says otherwise. She is a fairly unique character.

On the positive side, I agree with you on that pet peeve.

 

Well, I peeve when people use right instead of write. BUt thats because I am a whiny nitpicking bitch. So never mind.

 

eh, you aren't alone. I'm the same way. I often rage at stories that have many mistakes and poor grammar.

The one that I've seen pop up lately a lot is that authors seem to not know the difference between illusive and elusive. Seriously, this one is surprisingly common.

 

I got another one: 'could have' and 'could of'.

 

This; makes me die inside every time I read it and what's worse is that occasionally I find myself doing it.

 

Slytherin Prince. Gryffindor Golden Boy. Order of the Kentucky Fried Chicken. Moldyshorts. Dumbledork.

People referring to themselves as Dark or Light or Grey. Referring to Voldemort's uprisings as 'the Dark war'. Who the fuck refers to themselves as grey? Outside of Gandalf, of course.

The indieharry one where he gets in front of the Order and dresses Dumbledoor down, trying to prove how independent and mature he is by comparing Dumbledoor to Tommy Boy/Moldieshorts and warning everybody not to Piss Him Off. Whereupon Mrs. Weasely shreaks in outrage.

 

I would too if I had to listen to that drivel.

Edit: When native English speakers write 'grown' instead of 'groan'. And when called on it, they say they have a top notch education and they know what they're talking about thankyouverymuch.

Stab you in the fucking eye.

 

Well fuck. And here I was thinking that was some crappy fiction explanation.

Not to mention the "Truly, unforgivables can be used for good. Zap a person in coma to wake them up. Control someone's mind to prevent then from killing themselves...." Really, whats with all those indie/dark Harry fics writes that feel the need to suggar coat their words? Someone is shooting you, you shoot back in kind. No needing to speak with yourself in the middle of a battle for your life.

Wasn't there a fic where Harry made fun of that? " if Hermione says that again I'll kill her" or something?

 

How about when indie!Harry writers insist that Sirius was struck by the killing curse because it was in the movie?

 

Text speak, Americanisms, any references to technology that wouldn't of have been available in that time frame... and Harry crying out at the start of the story for Sirus/his parents/Cedric.

Harry: "You should have told me! I deserved to know why Voldemort was after me! HOW DARE YOU TRY AND LET ME LIVE OUT A HAPPY CHILDHOOD."
-

Dumbledore: "Lemondrop?"
-

Molly/Ron/Hermione/Everyone else: "Dumbledore knows best, he would never steer us wrong. We should all follow him blindly."
-

"Like what you see, Granger?"

"Why yes I do, Malfoy."

/dies

 

I don't know about the rest of you, but after a while, the whole "mother goose" bitchy, bossy Mrs. Weasley thing gets old. Very fast. After the fifth "watch your language!" or "Golly gee whatever will the great Dumbledore thing", I just want to make her choke on the magical pots and pans she washes.

 

It was mentioned before but I always hate it when someone tells Harry that he's acting 'very Slytherin'. There are perfectly good words (such as cunning and ambitious - see what I did there?) that can be used to describe a Harry that is not acting like the traditional Gryffindor. Add in that the house names are actually nouns, which sets off my inner grammar nazi, and have no place being used as adjectives and it just annoys the fuck out of me.

Hell, if they'd only use words like 'you were acting like a Slytherin there, Harry' I'd have no problem with it.

On a non-dialogue related note, Harry saying he will have to 'release his Slytherin side' annoys me in the same way. It's like saying Harry is repressing half his personality and will be suddenly badass if he 'becomes whole' again.

 

I agree 100% with everything here, the timeline thing really really bugs me, to the point where I won't continue on with the story, like when an author says Harry is listening to his Ipod or that his favorite band is a band that doesn't come out to 2000 give me a break.

 

Which goes quite in hand with mentioning band names themselves, which is pretty asinine as we established.

 

But everyone likes Linkin Park, right? That means that if Harry likes Linkin Park too, your fic is cool.

Right?

 

Yeah. A guy at my high school. N-n-n-n-nathen.

 

I was more trying to ask if anyone who otherwise doesnt have a stammer (a category that seems to describe fudge), suddenly develops one that extreme under stress.

 

I have been known to start to stutter when I am stressed. It tends to happen at job interviews, sadly. I do not normally stutter at all. Granted, It isn't nearly that extreme, but it happens.

~Kitti

 

Oh good, you signed your post. Me not knowing who you are would have been really awkward.

Anyway, When Voldemort talksssssssss like thisssssssss. That fucks me over every time.