Title: Harry Potter and the Pyramid of Phyre
Author: Umpy
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure/Romance
DLP Category: Independent
Pairing: Harry/Ginny
Status: WIP
Summary: After the war Harry vanished with a small girl for 7 years. Now a new dark force and a terrifying tournament draw the Boy-Who-Lived out of his exile to stand, once more, as a hero. Can he and his adopted daughter, Lily, prevent another war? Post-DH Pre-Epilogue


Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4545238/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Pyramid_of_Phyre

I found this to be a pretty good read, once it gets going. I'll be the first to admit that the beginning is slow and annoying, but once the main villains are introduced it picks up quite a bit. There are some grammar and spelling problems, but nothing too bad. Overall, I think it's pretty good. 4/5

 

PHAIL.

(philler)

 

I read this story a while back and I didn't like the Harry/Ginny pairing. The author wrote Ginny as a childish, jealous, overbearing and bossy. Any other pairing would have worked out better in my opinion. I would have liked to see Harry meet someone else or not been with anyone at all.

The one positive thing I remember from reading this story is the realistic advances over the years that Harry makes with his magic from how worthless he was at the end of Deathly Hallows.

Overall, a well written story but just not my thing. 3/5

 

What's up with all the idiots posting crap recently? It seems like there's been an upswing in the amount of stupid going around this site.

The story tries to sound mature and grandiose, but the author fails rather potently at that. Add in all the plot and dialogue cliches, bad sentence structure, the fact that Snape has a secret daughter named Lily, and it's quite easy to tell that this story should die in a fire.

Or phyre, if you will.

The story is awkward, cliche, and simply too grating to continue reading. Unless the author magically gets really, really good in later chapters (which I sincerely doubt), the story gets a 1/5.

 

This is not a bad story - that said, it wasn't good enough for me to read beyond the 10th chapter or so, either.

The romance was fairly terrible, the jokes quite unfunny, and the villains reminded me of Charmed; other than that, it was good. An interesting premise and decent writing skills to back it up.

3/5 for me.

 

Basically everything that kmfrank said.

It was decent and well written, but probably not DLP's cup of tea. That said, 3/5.

 

I also agree with everything kmfrank said, I read this (against my better judgement) and couldn't get into it, the whole thing seemed to combine plots from other stories into one, the writing was okay, but I couldn't get passed chapter 7, 2.5/5.

 

The writing, though solid, is very unengaging. There seemed to be promise that this version of Harry had some hidden, possible dark, dimensions with this quote:

but he is very quickly established to be a plain character indistinguishable from the Harrys in hundreds of other stories.

2/5

Just the latest story in a procession of poorly considered and shitty recommendations. Next.

 

I blame the upswing on the PC stance.

As for this fic, I could barely make it through the first few chapters. It was boring. The writing style is decent but overall, it just couldn't hold my attention.

3/5

 

So, Harry doesn't make an appearance until chapter seven. It's all actions that are taking place in England and yeah... makes for a boring read. So far anyway

Edit: Dialogue is horrible, and the entire thing seems to focus more on Ginny / Hermione than on Harry.

1/5

 

Rule of thumb. If a fic starts with "Harry Potter and the ____" it is near guaranteed failure.

 

Ah, yeah, I remember reading this. I think I was annoyed right off the bat. Harry takes off to leave for what amounts to the lamest excuses ever. Ginny gets super pissed at him, and I immediately don't like her.

The whole thing with 'Lily' is weird--why did Snape adopt her in the first place, why does he demand Harry (whom he barely trusted to not blow up his potions) take care of her, and why does Harry say yes?! He's all of... 17 when he leaves? What a way to see the world, eh? Toting around a toddler...

And then the author sort of sneakily draws you in, because despite it all you still want to see Harry again, but it drags on for, what--seven chapters before you even see him? And Ginny... when it finally registered that, no, this story is never gonna be about Harry, and yes, it really will be all about Ginny, I gave it up.

It was a relief.

 

Looking at the reviews, I'm somewhat reluctant to read this. Is there any hope for Harry/Snape'sAdoptedDaughter?

Phantastic.

 

Baaaaaad punctuation. Because. People do not talk. Like this.

Confusing '.' with ',' is a crime.

The plot feels contrived, the premise makes little sense, and, where the fuck is Harry? But what I hated the most was the character interactions. Because everyone is so damn quirky.

Also, is Phyre just an attempt to be archaic? Or to have repetition of the letter "p"? Or is there actually some deep seeded reason for using it? (don't think so)

But, nonetheless, no really glaring grammar errors, so 2/5.

 

Hey now...

As author of two of these fics, I'm inclined to disagree. But upon rereading, both HP and Unlocked Knowledge and HP and Alchemist's Apprentice could definitely use a lot of improvement...

 

Nobody saw this yet?

I love these shitty stories, they provide such wonderful laughs.

 

There is only one thing more I need to say (and I am sorry - waaaay off topic) - Dr. Strange Lulz, both your name and your signature wtfpwns. Pwns.

Once again, sorry for the off-topicness - but as a person who took classes in both WWII and theory of knowledge, it had to be said.