Title: Tyrant
By: Minstrel Knight
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure
DLP Category: AU
Pairing: None
Chapters: 5
Words: 47,607
Updated: July 27, 2010
Published: August 23, 2009
Status: Abandoned
Summary: Sirius defeats Voldemort in Godric's Hollow but is disenchanted by the Wizengamot. A story of intrigue and rebellion, inspired by the history of Julius Caesar. Sirius descends from politician to army general to dictator, while Harry and Draco grow

Link: Tyrant

I know that the summary sucks, but the story is way better. This is a very original idea.(at least that's what I think, never read anything like this) Sirius defeats Voldemort out of dumb luck and distraction, thus the mutt isn't as powerful as you think. This is a great political thriller, and the author seems to update quite often.(3 long chapters in 2 days!)

There is no pairing in this story, even though there are some teenage crushes, Draco is a good guy, but doesn't approve of Harry. I have to warn you guys though, Ron/Draco friendship. The story is well written and seems to move in a reasonable speed, even though the first 2 chapters are Sirius centric.

I really like the political part of this story, there is no other story that goes so deep into politics. As you can see I also suck at writing summaries! just go and read it, I enjoyed it(even though it's a bit short at the moment).

I will give this story a 4/5, because I wanted a pairing| No story is great without a bit of Romance|

I know I am a new member, but please be nice. The story is very good, and I wanted to know what other people thought of this.


Checked by Minion, January 7, 2013

 

I read James/Sirius/Voldemort duel and then promptly clicked "X", it was that pathetic.

 

I was about to recommend this fic, but Lordduke's beaten me to it.

Palver, the James/Sirius/Voldemort duel has indeed been poorly written. Looks like action isn't one of the author's strong points. But if you read chapters 2 & 3, they make for quite interesting reading.

The first chapter gets a 2/5 for me ( primarily because of the poor way in which the duel was described). The remaining two however get a 4/5 from me.

Decent stuff, but we'll see how the story goes from here.

 

I agree with you, the first chapter sucked, but it was the chapter that set everything up. The duel sucked, but if you kept reading you would have discovered some good stuff Palver, your loss. This is one of the most original stories in terms of Politics(no other story at the moment beats it), and action.

 

Sirius centric?

How old is Harry in the fic and who did he grow up with? Perhaps more importantly, how much do we see of him?

 

...... All right, who can get a link to Methane's stuff to this squib?

 

A lot. It's a historical parallel to Rome. Sirius is Julius Caesar, but just like the TV series Rome, Octavian (Harry) is the real main character as he goes from being a bookish teenager to the future Augustus.

The crazy part is that somehow the parallel works well. It's obviously very AU, but it ends up being entertaining if you can get past that. You can only read so many post-OOTP rehashes, this is the most interesting HP story I've seen in a while. First chapter sucks but it improves rapidly.

 

The only problem I can think of is that all politics in HP has a flat feeling to it without turning the world into a massive AU. Politics in Rome was awesome because Rome controlled a massive empire spanning continents. The British Ministry of Magic rules a hidden community of a few thousand people. Sure, they have lots of power over the Muggle world should they decide to use it. But they never do.

 

Yeah, that's an inherent problem with HP. It's very colorful on the surface but the world really has no depth and the tiny population is a killer. The author is trying to get by it by bringing in some other countries and having standing "armies", but you can only do so much within the limitations.

I just googled it - "In that same period, the population of the early empire under Augustus has been placed at about 45 million." I never realized there were that many people. Wow. Anyway, you probably need some level of interest in ancient Rome for this story not to suck.

 

45 million people back then is more like 450 million people nowadays. If no more...

Won't bother to read this, politics in stories doesn't interest me very much. Real politics are awesome but in stories they fall really flat, particularly since you often know what the opponent is going to do. Besides, it's much to black and white for my liking.

 

Well being a bit of a Roman History buff myself....I happen to like this story immensely.

Technical execution is nearly flawless. I have yet to detect a major grammatical or spelling error. But of course, that is true of any story that I don't immediately label as fail/5.

I will say that the dueling scene in the first chapter had much to be desired. Plot wise that is the only major flaw with it.

Over all I would say that this has the makings of a 5/5 story. However it seems to me as if the author is trying to force a H/G pairing that doesn't seem suitable for the characterizations of the the characters--Indeed it would seem to me that Draco would be a more suitable match for this fic for Ginny whereas there might be a more suitable female for Harry.

All that said I am withholding a rating pending future updates as this story.

Edit to Add: Also I quite like the political intrigues in this story. It is refreshing to have something other than inbreeding and juvanile prejudices being the ruling force of a HP fanfic.

 

Criticisms

- The dueling scene is that pathetic, clumsily abridged and reeking of laziness. It nearly convinced me to drop the story right there. It also speaks ominously for the upcoming war scenes, which we can expect given the plot development of the goblin rebellion. Edit: Heh, nevermind. There's no massive war scene in the third chapter since the author skips most of the campaign, with Sirius already having beaten goblins everywhere except Italy. It's like the first duel, except in macrocosm.

- Bizarrely, the dialogue during that sequence and the following scenes were utterly shit, but it immediately improved afterward. Editing really needs to be done for the beginning. The most glaring problems are all concentrated there. Sirius decides to check up on James and Lily with no preamble.

It's just sloppy.

- The transitions between scenes are often haphazard. Out of nowhere Draco and a band of characters are at a boot camp with Lupin of all people (what the fuck?) bellowing at them. There’s no description of the location, which is an overall flaw of the story.

Due Praise

-The legalese read formally, which is enough to seem realistic. The first courtroom scene ends with Sirius walking out in an outraged and cliche manner, though it is a minor issue.

-Originality. The goblin rebellion and the events preceding it are interesting subject matter.

Mixed Opinions

- The goblins. There’s the no-wand clause being removed, but there’s little information on how capable goblins are with magic. The boot camp scenes teaches the children to form a shield formation, which of course rendered useless if the goblins can cast the Avada Kedavra. The whole decision to give them wands doesn't feel deliberated enough.

- The detailwork is kind of impressive in a way but empty in another. Even the little terms to describe politics, such as Dumbledorean. But there’s no real depth. The author usually just pulls something pseudo-scientific which sounds realistic only on the surface such as:

It's some technical drabble which doesn’t mean anything because there’s no substance behind it.

- Which brings me to Harry himself. He’s still a child at this point, but the author is a little aggressive in portraying him as precocious.

- The wizard army of a thousand people? Really? I don’t know what conclusions have been drawn from the magical population debates, but that’s an audacious number. Maybe it’s believable given the longer lifespan of wizards, maybe not. Edit: Alright, glanced at the 3rd chapter and it turns out there's a thousand Aurors, and a thousand to each legion, making for a total of 5,000 soldiers. I suspect the author stretched the numbers so he could write a massive battle scene.

Conclusion



I’m giving this a Minstrel Knight out of a Ruskbyte. Not on the level of Methene’s story but still worth reading.

 

I agree with you on that. I have a fear that the story is going to have some bad battle scenes. But I think this beats Methane's Of Blacks and Malfoys(I think thats the title) this story Harry centric(unlike OBAM), I just can't wait for the next chapter. The only complains I have is that the author doesn't give enough details and the battle scenes are terriable. At least it is orignal and makes me want to read more. Can't wait for the update.

 

Dude, Andro, just use a fucking numerical rating system. Its really fucking annoying having to figure out what the hell you just rated it as. :/

 

First four words of the story:

Shades of Bulwer-Lytton's "It was a dark and stormy night..."

I think I'll pass.

 

What the fuck? The first four words of a story are like the most retarded thing to judge a fic on. Almost as bad as judging a book by its cover, though that actually means something usually.

 

I read through this to give you the benefit of the doubt, and I have to say, OBAM has superious fighting scenes, an excellent political scene and better dialogue. If only the bastard would update.

As for this, 1/5.

 

I actually really liked this. Then again, I have a thing for Ancient History and Rome in general. Maybe I'm just projecting. There are a couple of places where I would have cleaned things up, but the idea itself is good.

4/5

 

When I read Fan Fiction, I want to read something that has Harry in it. I guess we have different taste. We both can agree that this story has the worst battle scenes.

 

Nah, I like a Harry-centric story as much as any DLP-er, but it's practically the only one of it's kind to succeed. Go into the forum and read Silens Cursor's stuff. He'll get you drooling at the awesomeness he writes.