Chapter 17 Added: "Storm"

Yeah, I know it's late, and yeah, I apologize to the people who wanted to read it first (Mindless, Seratin, Amer, the list goes on), but here it is, updated on DLP Wba, fanfiction.net, and PatronusCharm. As always, read, review, and enjoy!

 

Awesome story. Only spotted one error in your latest chapter:

This should probably be "taking" considering the context.

5/5 from me.

 

Yeah, I just fixed that. Missed it during my read-through. DX

 

Chapter 18 Added - "Ritual"

Well, frankly this is a disgusting turnaround time, but I managed to finish Chapter 18 of Renegade Cause, and it has been updated on DLP WbA, PatronusCharm, and fanfiction.net. A bit of a slower chapter, but it ends with a bit of a bang.

As always, read, review, and enjoy!

 

I fail to find an adjective that captures the essence of your insanely quick update times.

 

Left my reviews on FF.Net: http://www.fanfiction.net/r/4714715/

There's a lot here that irritates me and not much that interests me. We're only just seeing the plot emerge in the most recent chapters, and unfortunately I'm not really into the whole dark!Peeves thing. Like so much of this story, I just end up asking myself "Why did he include that?"

Also the plot as a whole lacks any kind of structure, lurching from one thing to the next with no mind to pacing.

I disagree with pretty much all of the characterisation. The emphasis that the story has on the Ministry I also disagree with, as it bores me. The relevance of the Ministry to the wizarding war is perfectly summed up by Dumbledore's escape from Hogwarts in OotP. When a wizard of his calibre wishes it, they can completely disregard anything the Ministry decides to do. That is one of the main differences between the Muggle and magical worlds*.

The story is also full of contrived occurance after contrived occurance, usually to artificially prologue the Kemester plotline that got old fast.

I should really rate this 2/5, but I think I'm going to give it an even 3 as you do have an awesome update rate.

*I think one of the reasons I dislike the story is that it's simply so unmagical. Magic does nothing to affect the behaviour of your characters, and they use hardly any of it. It would not be hard at all to transpose your plot into a non-magic AU tale.

 

Nice update rate. I just recently caught up with your fic the other day and am glad to see a new chapter so quickly. Some thoughts: first, I agree with Taure in that I dislike Peeve's role in the plot. It just doesn't sit well with me for some reason.

On the other hand, unlike Taure, I really enjoy your OC's and your characterization of them. Kemester, etc, are all interesting and well written, which is why I feel, whenever I read Peeve's being crazy and what not, that an OC might have fit better there, or even the Bloody Baron. It's just hard to take Peeve's seriously, I suppose.

I love that Harry's not being a whiny bitch about killing/using the simulacrum, but at the same time it seems a little bizarre how little it phases him.

All in all, I'm really enjoying this story, and especially your style. It's quick, well formulated and engaging. Keep it up, bud.

 

I've read through many chapters of this fic, and I do agree that it is well written. The OCs and plot are pretty original, and the overall characterization is excellent.

However, am I the only one that has a huge problem with Harry's character? It's nice that he's independent and all, but he seems a bit weak to be fostering that sort of attitude. Of course, I take into account that he's only a 5th year student and all. But then I ask myself, should a politically and magically weak Harry be trying to take on the Ministry and Voldemort by himself? At many points in the story, he seems like a dumbass. Dumbledore doesn't seem especially manipulative and evil in this fic, yet Harry vehemently rejects his help. And when there is no other option but to accept Dumbledore's help, he still refuses to be grateful at all. I can only think of a dog biting the hand that feeds him at this point.

All in all, personally I'd give this fic a 3/5. Just not my cup of tea.

 

The above review was the dumbest thing I've ever read.

Silens, what the above imbecile pointed out as a flaw was, in fact, the best part of the story. Harry's in over his head, knows it, but he's too far out to stop swimming now, so he just keeps going. One of the few stories (and authors) with the balls to pull this off well.

Again, opposite of what the above poster said, the OC's are the part of the story I like least. Kemester, particularly, almost seems too caricature-ish; we don't see enough of his (lack of) motivation for him to seem totally 2D, but the single-mindedness with which he's pursuing Harry - yes, even after Harry causes his brother's death - seems a bit excessive.

Umbridge thing was kinda meh too, in my opinion; if she's scarring everyone (and has that many blood quills? Didn't she take the one out of a special box and such?) someone's bound to complain/leave/bring down the school board.

There are some things I could have liked better, in general, but a solid 4.5, which means another 5 star vote from me.

 

I'd only agree on the Umbridge point. I think it went a bit too far with making an entire class writing with the blasted things just for turning a bunch of kids against the rebel. I guess the whole thing will turn back to bite her hard on the ass, but then the nerve one should have to use an illegal device(assuming it is really illegal) while having a number of "law enforcement officers" in the same place, is simply staggering. And somehow I don't think that Umbridge has it.

And Kemester, must be one of my most favorite OCs I've recently encountered in Harry Potter fanfics. But then, what you pointed out as what you don't like about him, is in fact what I so much love about his character.
The only thing I hope Silens has thought about is getting over with the current arc of events, and move on the real battle with the Minister and Voldemort. Having an annoying OC character, which simply begs for a gruesome death, like Kemester, is nice and brings a feeling to the story but then the said character could be used for that long before it gets boring.
And, yes, I do hope Silens won't hold back when he actually writes the scene with Harry sweeping the floor with the effing bastard.

 

...except Silens' Harry is effectively the same in terms of magical skill as OotP Harry, just even more of a moody teenager.

So Kemester would likely be the one sweeping.

 

Except this Harry is willing to do something about it.

 

Well if Renegade!Harry=Ootp!Harry in terms of skill, then his willingness to do something about Kemester is irrelevant. It would be amusing to see Harry try and fight Kemester, but he'd still lose. IIRC the "strongest" spell in Harry's repitoire was the cruciatus, which would probably hurt Kemester just as much as it hurt Bellatrix.

When Silens gets to the main conflict with Voldemort, it will be interesting to see how Harry matchs up to Tom. This Harry has the odds stacked against him, and he's barley learned any Simulancy. I'm worried that a talented author like Silens will have to resort to some super power boost *cough*hallows*cough* that will match Harry and Voldemort.

I'm very excited to see where this goes, and how Harry plans to shorten the gap. 4/5

 

What I really meant was that he seems to be willing to do something about improving his skills. He sure got pissed at Dumbledore for not being willing to train him. He is kinda preoccupied about staying out of Azkaban at the moment though.

 

I agree with that 100%, and you mentioning Azkaban got me thinking about Grimwald Place. I'm not sure if it's been mentioned before, but why didn't Harry just stay there and get stronger?

 

The beauty of magic is - you need one lucky shot to render your opponent harmless and then all it takes is an iron bar and some privacy, mate. From there on is all in the head...

edit: of course OotP Harry was never pushing himself so hard, and was pretty much described as a fucking pacifist. Now, even though he might be as skillful with his magic as OotP Harry, but you should not underestimate the creativity of the mind and what a cunning man pushed to the extreme could do with just a few magical tricks.
I guess you got me wrong - when I said "sweeping the floor with him" I didn't mean for a second in a straight and "honorable" duel.

 

No, he's willing to bitch about people not magically waving a wand and increasing his skills for him (see the perceived injustice of Dumbledore not teaching Harry, which is silly: if Harry can't do OWL-level magic then he certainly can't do any advanced magic Dumbledore would teach him, and there's no point Dumbledore teaching him OWL level magic because he can learn that from lessons/books), but he has no interest in improving them himself.

At least, he hasn't yet.

 

I'll just throw in a comment here or two regarding Harry's rough 'skill level' - the most real 'test' of Harry's skill came in Chapter 17, against one Lucius Malfoy. If I recall correctly, Lucius only managed to escape with his life and his deep-fried genetalia, and the spell that caused that wasn't the only new one in Harry's repetoire.

You might see more of those spells in the next chapter, which I anticipate arriving in about three or four days.

---------- Post automerged at 10:29 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:06 AM ----------

And I apologize for the doublepost, but I finished this chapter in extraordinary time, and I have updated in DLP WbA, fanfiction.net, and PatronusCharm. As always, read, criticize, review, and enjoy!

 

Looks like you took all the advice to heart.
Definitely a lot more magic in this chapter and Dumbledore's finally decided to do something about the people running roughshod over his school- torturing students in class with blood quills, intolerable excesses and overall abuse of quetionable authority.

The only thing that still slightly annoys me about this is Harry. I hate his character, he never really seems to learn anything (and I'm not just talking about magic). Thankfully from the looks of this latest chapter it appears he's going to get there. I mean people are forced to adapt under less dire circumstances so I've never really had much patience for how stupid he appeared at times.
'Traitor!', 'You betrayed me!', I mean come on Harry... He acts like he doesn't know Tonks works for ministry and has to keep her cover to be useful to the order. He's even seen Kingsley act like he barely knows them at all (Dumbledore included) to keep his cover. He's still young, I know, and he's guaranteed to make mistakes but when its sink or swim you've gotta learn fast or you're gonna drown and its over.

For me its a 3, for now.