From what I remember, Dumbledore was blinded by his desire to possess the Resurrection stone. That's why he got hurt, it had nothing to do with not realizing the item was cursed.

I just can't see Lily being that fatalistic. Also, Lily and James clearly felt protected enough so that they didn't see the need to keep their wands on them at all times, and if they felt safe, there was no need for a super ancient bloodmagic ritual. Still, I suppose you have a point.

 

Time Turners:

Do not fucking use. Ever.

Why?

Because they are probably the most ill-conceived implement in all of the Harry Potter story. Only Hermione could be so stupid as to use such an incredibly (shall we say broken?) device simply to attend more classes.

How would the story have changed if Harry had one handy at all times? How about Voldemort? Of course JKR didn't bother to think these possibilities through when she wrote the story, so used the most incredible artifact in all magic for the most mundane shit imaginable.

Don't. Use. A. Time. Turner.

 

I thought the author meant that Harry won't be taking sides, not that he won't be a prodigy. And he still can ask an older student to put his name in the goblet.

 

This is very ironic, isn't it ? Voldemort marked Harry in canon as his equal with Killing Curse which does not leave any marks. If only V used Diffindo.

 

Why didn't James's death protect Lily's life? Because Voldemort was planning on sparing Lily's life not her husband's.

I am sure there are plenty of mothers who would die in the place of their child. How many had the choice? Can you think of any other situation where a dark wizard would want to kill the child but spare the mother? Usually the mother is the target and the child is the afterthought.

It really is an extremely unlikely circumstance when you think about it. Who would be intent on killing a child but not the parent and then change their mind about killing the parent and then proceed to kill the child?

There are so many different ways you could get the parent out of the way long enough to kill the kid that you have to be pretty callous about ending people's lives to use it as a first resort. But, if you are so flippant about killing people, why plan on sparing the parent to begin with?

I agree the prophesy was vital to Harry's survival, but not in the way you all think it.

Only when you have a person like Voldemort, a situation like the prophesy created, and a request like Snape's could the events like what happened that night occur as they did.

Way too unlikely to believe happen more than once. Really it strains credulity that someone as callous as Voldemort would attempt to honor a request like Snape's to begin with.

Also, the problem I have with theprophesydidit! Is that if that were true for one prophesy it would be true for them all. At which point, Seers would not be Seeing the future but Creating the future and instead of being celebrated they would be persecuted if not killed. Divination would be banned as a Dark Art since most of Divination involve something bad happening to someone.

 

I don't really see how most of Divination involves something bad happening. The only one that we really know of in the book is Harry's, which was obviously not pleasant. However in the DoM, there is an entire gigantic room filled with those little prophecy balls. I really don't think that anyone should assume that they're all bad based on only what one seer (Trelawney) says in the book.

 

I thought that's what the author meant as well.

 

You already said in chapter 1 that the killing curse backfired because of a one in a million fluke. Just stick with that story. I like the idea that if you use a curse that instantly kills you their is a 1 in a million chance you die.


Also HowdyU is right the Time Turner idea I had was dumb. He made some good points I hadn't thought of. I was really just trying to think of a way for Harry to use time to his advantage without him being a Gary Stu time traveller. It would probably be better if Time Turners don't exist in this story though. Considering POA doesn't have to happen it should be very easy to keep them out of the story.

 

"Harry quickly removed the owl of its burden" - relieved of it burden, I think

It's good. Believable. Addresses my concerns. Moar.

Edit:

I've noticed the quote in your signature. Do you believe someone's gender or promiscuity affects or is an indication of their intelligence? Are you fighting ignorance or ridiculing chauvinism?

 

Aww! I wanted to read that encounter now! lol. Nice so far, though Harry should of told his parents, or at least prepared them by saying he had something he wanted to tell them and would... eventually. But would Hogwarts, Dumbles and co. be willing to change how they teach just for Harry?

 

Professor Quirinus Quirrell (the author spells it wrong) had reason to lie and deceive the protagonist, but I think he wouldn't blatantly lie about something that can be easily looked up, like whether it is possible to skip grades in Hogwarts (even if looking up people who graduated too early for their age is too time consuming without computers). If the protagonist says he wants to take OWLs next year or third year, and an unrestricted pass to the restricted section of the library, Dumbledore would say "absolutely not" (or something sleazy that implies the same) and then the protagonist can say he tried but Hogwarts is too inflexible to meet his educational needs. A letter (and maybe even a floo call) from Karkaroff promising much more than Hogwarts would agree to would help.

 

Come on, still not the most expected scene but you promised it was coming next for sure so no problem. Again a transition chapter, nothing much to say but in Quirrell first letter, he mentions exams getting scored twice so you might wanna correct that.

 

"It wasn’t like he could tell his parents that someone had been jinxing his broomstick –they'd have him off the team faster than he could say Quidditch."

This is significant because in Canon, Severus was using the counterjinx to save Harry. Assuming the same is true in this story (with Nathan), there is no reason for him not to tell Lily about it. Also, where does Severus stand regarding any life debt or protection of Lily's kids (as he is not responsible for her death.) He may therefore have moved on, or be less of a guilt-ridden grump.

Alternatively, you could remove the entire broom jinxing incident as it is not essential to the story or Voldemort getting the Stone, and he may be too preoccupied teaching Harry.

You also forgot History of Magic, which is another core class.

Screw Parseltongue; Harry is NOT the child of prophecy. That's the very essence of this story as an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE to the CANON one. Any inclusion is forced. Nathan may be one, but "I want it!" does not justify Harry having this ability in the context of your story.

I think Hermione getting the time-turner was more for Harry's benefit, and is unnecessary for a kid like him anyway. He needs some sort of purpose to put this studying to.

Its interesting watching him turn Dark, and it works because you skip over things you are aware we already know, but at some point (I imagine within the first few years), you'll need to differentiate further from Canon.

The world you have created is very different, and it is only logical (and interesting) to see where this unexpected bend in the river leads, and how it affects the story and characters.

Sirius never went to Azkaban, Peter was immediately exposed (where he is unknown, but he could not hide at Weasley's or Hogwarts as I imagine Lily and James warned kids of his Animagus form.)

The letters in the beginning of the scene are pretty lame. They feel like you are trying to force a correction from a prior chapter or fix an oversight (understandable as fanfiction is episodically exposed to audience like TV.)

What's the issue? That Harry did well on his scores, so Filius will fight to keep him in Hogwarts and Harry did not tell his parents before applying to Durmstrang?

Why can't Harry just tell them over break that he applied to Durmstrang (or is investigating it). This is also more dramatic as it creates a moment of confrontation where he has to tell them about it before the meeting. There is no need for Quirrel/Voldemort to get involved. He wants Harry to go to Durmstrang, and Harry's grades qualify. The issue is who/when his parents get told.

His parents could even say he wants to transfer to Durmstrang because he's lonely, but transferring is not the answer. (Embarrassing, yet true, and also it shows them questioning his ability to make his own life choices. Also true for an 11 year old.)

Meeting is held, and extra lessons are agree upon, with Parents trying to do something for kid.

Screw this forced exposition via letter business. Its dramatic dead weight that is superfluous.

---------- Post automerged at 11:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:05 PM ----------

"It wasn’t like he could tell his parents that someone had been jinxing his broomstick –they'd have him off the team faster than he could say Quidditch."

This is significant because in Canon, Severus was using the counterjinx to save Harry. Assuming the same is true in this story (with Nathan), there is no reason for him not to tell Lily about it. Also, where does Severus stand regarding any life debt or protection of Lily's kids (as he is not responsible for her death.) He may therefore have moved on, or be less of a guilt-ridden grump.

Alternatively, you could remove the entire broom jinxing incident as it is not essential to the story or Voldemort getting the Stone, and he may be too preoccupied teaching Harry.

You also forgot History of Magic, which is another core class.

Screw Parseltongue; Harry is NOT the child of prophecy. That's the very essence of this story as an ALTERNATE UNIVERSE to the CANON one. Any inclusion is forced. Nathan may be one, but "I want it!" does not justify Harry having this ability in the context of your story.

I think Hermione getting the time-turner was more for Harry's benefit, and is unnecessary for a kid like him anyway. He needs some sort of purpose to put this studying to.

Its interesting watching him turn Dark, and it works because you skip over things you are aware we already know, but at some point (I imagine within the first few years), you'll need to differentiate further from Canon.

The world you have created is very different, and it is only logical (and interesting) to see where this unexpected bend in the river leads, and how it affects the story and characters.

Sirius never went to Azkaban, Peter was immediately exposed (where he is unknown, but he could not hide at Weasley's or Hogwarts as I imagine Lily and James warned kids of his Animagus form.)

The letters in the beginning of the scene are pretty lame. They feel like you are trying to force a correction from a prior chapter or fix an oversight (understandable as fanfiction is episodically exposed to audience like TV.)

What's the issue? That Harry did well on his scores, so Filius will fight to keep him in Hogwarts and Harry did not tell his parents before applying to Durmstrang?

Why can't Harry just tell them over break that he applied to Durmstrang (or is investigating it). This is also more dramatic as it creates a moment of confrontation where he has to tell them about it before the meeting. There is no need for Quirrel/Voldemort to get involved. He wants Harry to go to Durmstrang, and Harry's grades qualify. The issue is who/when his parents get told.

His parents could even say he wants to transfer to Durmstrang because he's lonely, but transferring is not the answer. (Embarrassing, yet true, and also it shows them questioning his ability to make his own life choices. Also true for an 11 year old.)

Meeting is held, and extra lessons are agree upon, with Parents trying to do something for kid.

Screw this forced exposition via letter business. Its dramatic dead weight that is superfluous.

---------- Post automerged at 11:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:11 PM ----------

Tried to post as Edit, but could not get it to "save" and move on after a few minutes. Decided to double post.

EDIT:

James and Lily could even wait until after meeting to confront Harry. They could assume the meeting is about Harry not making friends (if you throw Filius into the room). Therefore, they want to talk to his teachers first to get their opinion before talking to Harry and coming to a solution. What a shock when they learn the meeting is about Harry leaving for Durmstrang. Why is McG there anyway?

Great story, and I'm really vibing on it. Especially good with unique, developed character work. Still too early for review (Beginnings are all promises)...

Eager for another update, anyway, and blah blah blah

---------- Post automerged at 11:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:12 PM ----------

Fucking Kinkos

 

I like how Filius feels guilty. He unintentionally was holding back a genius. He though it was just a bookworm who was overly arrogant. Then grades came in and he realized that he is losing a student that is once in a life time to teach. Far better at charms then his mother ever was. Far better at transfiguration then his father. Far better the Remus at DADA. So now he was flipping out in the first of your three new scenes made a lot of sense and also was somewhat satisfying to see.

"Harry shifted nervously. “Ugh, no, I'm good,” he said before making an excuse and going back upstairs to his room. "

This comment seemed a little off to me. I dunno it might just be me but it seems too normal for a loner prodigy that you have been portraying him as. The "ugh" and the "I'm good" just don't seem to fit his personality. I am not a author so I have no idea what to replace it with. How do nerds talk? They might say "I'm good" and I just didn't know it.

I guess you guys are right about the Parseltongue. Oh well I tried. I like the ability >,>

Wish you would have given us the scene where he tells his parents. I can't wait for that scene.

Would be nice if you could have somehow gotten Karkaroff to attend the meeting. Maybe Harry finally get the acceptance letter Dec 27 and then asks if Karkaroff can help convince his parents to allow him to go since His Head of House, the Headmaster, and the Deputy Headmaster are all coming to try to convince his parents to keep him at Hogwarts.

Also was Christmas not important? You completely skipped over it. I would think whatever books Harry gets might be useful to him and might need mentioning.

 

Huh, not bad for an update, a bit small but I have seen worse.

 

It'll be interesting to see the reactions about Harry -> Durmstrang, if it goes through. Especially in regards to Karkaroff. He was a Death Eater, and though he turned traitor to them, it was only because he got caught.

I'm sure Harry and Nathan were set right on the moral doctrine of Death Eaters bad, Order members good, and could be a legitimate reason for them not wanting Harry to go to Durmstrang. I know Harry has been getting second hand information, but Karkaroff looks like a gallant noble educator, ready to help the poor young boy whose evil Hogwarts teachers are holding him back. Who are trying to manipulate the boy by offering too little, too late to stop him from transferring.

I know you were wondering on how to swing a Harry/Fleur (which like most people I am a fanboy of), and I think a way to swing it might to have all involved (Harry changes his mind, Parents etc) decide that going to a school run by a former Death Eater isn't in his best interests, and should go to Beauxbatons as an alternative.

All in all, I know he's being manipulated by Quirrelmort, but Harry seems a little soft for wanting to bail after 4 or so months, especially if it seems like things could improve.

 

But it doesn't seem like that. If Harry had friends but still wasn't getting SEKRAT TRAINING he wouldn't transfer. "Training" should be a cover for his real reason to want out. His brother's celebrity + him being introverted + having the reputation for being unpopular = permanent social fail. At best if he stays at Hogwarts he can look forward to being Snape redux in his later teens. Maybe he can invent new dark spells in between stalking Ginny to really complete the circle.

 

She's the Deputy, isn't she?

Also, I'm not sure, but aren't scores like Outstanding and Exceeds Expectations etc. for OWLs and NEWTs (and in between) only? Because I seem to remember the trio talking to Fred and George about them in OotP, and Hermione was saying something like 'after O comes A' and Fred/George corrected her, 'there's an E for Exceeds Expectations...'

Am not too clear on this and can't be bothered to go check.

Just thought I'd point it out.

 

Even if that's technically the case in canon, I see no reason not to change it here. Certainly throughout the years their homework is graded on the OWL system, and it makes sense that they would use the system throughout - even if it only has 'true' significance in the 5th and 7th year examinations.

My belief is that in canon they did use this system, and Hermione was acting as Rowling's mouthpiece to explain it to the reader, even though everyone she was talking to had been using the system for quite some time. Like when she told Harry who Theodore Nott was, or explained to Ron (who had lived in a magical house his whole life) that you couldn't make magical food.

 

It's meant to be that way. He was giving the good and bad news. The news ended up being the same thing but in different context. It was bad news because Flitwick realized what a prodigy he had from the grades and was losing him. It was good news because Flitwick sent the transcript of his grades.