:-/

And I also hate it when they put spaces after opening speech marks:

" Hi, Harry!"
" Oh, Ron, what's up?"

(incredulous expression)

 

It seems all homophones are fair play for the average fanfiction author.

 

Most recently, the error that stuck out to me was one character asking another, "Are you fine?"

Technically, that isn't a mistake; it just isn't something anyone would say. I realize that the person that did it was probably not a native English speaker, so I don't let it bother me. It just breaks up the flow.

 

This has been amply criticized already but when you something like THIS:

(she included the lyrics.)

Summary:

dramaticly. < extra fail.

Responsible for this abomination: ToMFeLtOnZGuRl4EvEr < begs ridicule.

This isn't even funny. That bitch(or tranny) took a shit on H.G.'s character, to say nothing of the fact Christina Aguilera had never recorded anything at that time. She was probably waddling around in diapers back then. (perhaps not, but close.)

Oh yeah, by the way, Harry doesnt feature in the story, so Hermione is friesnd with ROn, Malfoy, and Pansy instead. The POV changes, but luckily the author announces it. like so:

AND IT FUCKING EVOLVES.

 

I just can't stand anyone who has Harry say....

"Yeah, I threw a few AK's around and killed some bitches."

or even better

"I Crucioed that bitch."

That just doesn't exist and it's not supposed to happen.

 

I'm not sure it's really an error, but anytime a writer uses 'DOM' or 'AK' in the narration, it drives me nuts. I don't really like characters using it either in dialogue, but I can accept it to a degree. In narration though, it's lazy, pure and simple.

 

This ftw. This makes me rage so hard.

 

Here. Some more retarded writing.

WHERE is the sarcasm in that statement? His aunt and uncle wouldn´t have let him try phoning.

Sude note:

WTF??? Unholy amount of 1k word fics.

 

I can see how it could be sarcasm, if the context was right. From your reaction, I'm assuming the context was not right.

BTW, Dressed in Black = somebody with one of those lovely titles under his/her name. Under your name, it says 'muggle'...

 

I dont recall calling DIB neophyte did I?

Sarcasm would be if he reprimanded himself for being too stupid to ask his uncle to lend him the phone.

 

Same thing happens with smirking.

"I did my transfiguration essay yesterday." Harry smirked.

"You all right mate?" Harry smirked, "just a minor headache, nothing to worry about."

 

That's what you get when a little fanbitch "thinks" smirking, or grinning lopsidedly, is cool. Said fanbitch will therefore have Her Hero! either smirking or lopsidedly grinning at least 347 times in every chapter (more if chapters are over 3 pages long) of every failfic s/he writes.

 

The one that comes to mind for me is "with baited [sic] breath." As it is, the "bated breath" phrase should be used sparingly, IMO. But when you use it and spell it wrong? Good God, man...

The Grand List of Bait-Fuckers

bated (adj.), held back, diminished, etc. - one might have bated breath when anticipating something. Related to the word "abate."

baited (generally a verb), - to place a lure, to entice, etc. - one might have baited breath when they want a fish or gerbil to enter their mouths.

Sadly, the "baited" error is made so often, it's probably going to become a valid spelling.

 

Slytherins can only smirk, sneer, or snarl, I've noticed. They never seem to make a normal facial expression.

 

He probably meant sardonically.

 

Alright, here's one that gets me.
Nutters. Not as a plural noun, but as an adjective.

I can see the mental steps -
American English: you are a nut, you're nuts
British English: you are a nutter... So it must be: you're nutters

Except it itsn't. It might even be the thing I hate most about fanon Ron - since he uses the word nutter and even nutters (as a plural noun) fairly liberally in the books, most ff writers always have to stick him saying it somewhere. And invariably every so often the word is being (mis)used as an adjective, and I get the angries.

Edit: can I really say invariably and every so often in the same sentence? oh well.

 

Speaking of British slang, a funny misuse that I've seen a few times is the confusion of 'barking' and 'starkers.' It's usually Ron misusing these words and creating some accidental porn.

A scene in the Great Hall -

Hermione: And that's why I've formed a society for the advancement of inferi rights.
Ron: (looking at her in horror) You're bloody starkers!

Oh my. The bushy-haired bookworm is in the buff in the middle of the Great Hall? I always knew she was a bit kinky.

 

Epic. I would love to see that particular fail in a fic

linkage, i beg thee.

 

Eh. I don't recall where I've seen it before, but it's pretty common. I googled the phrase, and this was the first one I came across. Behold the accidental slash of 'Like Water for Squid Meat':

 

I always find it irritating when people use cannon instead of canon. Lots of people do it, even quite a few here at DLP.

canon:

n.
1. A law or rule.

cannon:

A great gun; a piece of ordnance or artillery; a firearm for discharging heavy shot with great force.


Usage of words such as Moldyshorts or Voldie, usually preceded by Harry in most fanfics being uber cool and showing everyone that fearing a name increases the fear of the name itself.

Harry calling Dumbledore dumbles or Sirius referring to McGonagall as Minnie.

Also the lack of capitalisation is very irritating while reading any fanfic.

And why does Harry always has a lopsided smile?