5/5 in my book. It's inspiringly original, well written and full of ass-kicking. What more could you want. Oh yeah, a naked Fleur. Don't wanna forget that!

 

Hey, folks,

Well, I got some real productive work done this week so here's the next chapter. 10,000 badass words just waiting to be reviewed.

FF.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4068153/22/Harry_Potter_and_the_Wastelands_of_Time

And PC: http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/76/22/

PC seems to have fucked up - damn. FF.net's good though.

Read and review, folks!

 

Amazing. Loved it. Atlantis at last.

 

Overwhelming, t'was overwhelming. Atlantis was magnificent. You ramp up the anticipation factor beyond anything most of us have ever encountered in fanfiction and you delivered.

Only noticed one error:

less -> lest

I think you're overusing the phrase "Maybe yes, maybe no.". It was effective the first time it appeared in the chapter. Then it appeared four or five times in really short succession and it seemed to me to stop being a stylistic device and just become repetition. Same with "We ate something and it was good" every time Harry eats or drinks something.

I really didn't want to read about Harry nailed to a cross again. Fucking Christ analogies.

Spoiler

“Now I’ve got a big hand and a little hand… just like a clock.” I snorted a laugh. “An infernal clock...”

That was genius.

Conclusion



I give this a Joe6991 out of a Ruskbyte, which translates into a number rating of 6/5.

 

Aye, p'haps you're right. Stylistic licence is hard to discern when it takes you however long to write it as opposed to reading it. Either way, too late to start using a beta now.

Cheers, mate.

 

Okay, folks, here we go:

Chapter 21 - The Time Traveller's Memory

Bloody thing ended up at 12,500 words. Eh, it's all good:

FF.net: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4068153/23/Harry_Potter_and_the_Wastelands_of_Time

And PC: http://www.patronuscharm.net/s/76/23/

Cheers, folks, please read and review.

All the best.

 

And what a fine chapter this is.

On a side note, Joe, if you've not seen it, sai King has posted the first 120 pages of his unfinished, long-lost work, The Cannibals, on his website. Some great stuff there, even if it is sadly incomplete.

 

Really?

Fan-frickin'-tastic.

November's a big month for new books and continuation books - shame I've got damn exams first two weeks. The temptation will be great to stray. Oh well.

 

Epic story so far. How many chapters left?

I'm still waiting on word from Saturnia, haven't seen her in a while.

epic/5 so far.

 

This has no relation to the Hero Trilogy.

 

As Voice of the Nephilim said, there is no relation.

Things that are similar to the Hero trilogy:
*Epic scope - though not necessarily to the same degree
*Strong references to Stephen King, esp. the Dark Tower series

Things that are different from the Hero trilogy:
*Consistent (and consistently good) writing style, rather than a gradually changing style - hey, he was young when he wrote the Hero trilogy
*Tighter, more controlled story - of course there's still room to go astray here, but I think Joe will manage to keep things more elegant this time around.

Especially if you already like the Hero trilogy, I have to strongly recommend this one, arguably the best WIP on DLP today. I also like both sets of work, but this one is better so far, IMO.

 

Really enjoyed the chapter, not as much as the previous chapter, if only because there was no awesome Demon slaying this time.

The flashback was also full of win, great lines in there, although the repeated use of "Can you dig it?" from Chronos made me wince a little. Made him sound less insane, and more like some cheesy 90's hip hop star.

The final part with Harry and Fleur was also well done. Really liked the moulding of the 3 phrases together to create his narrative, was a great moment.

Can't wait to see more, and good luck with the exams.

 

I'm with the moon chewer above me on the Chronos 'can you dig it' lines. I was starting to think of him as Randy Savage during that flashback. And while the Macho Man was a fucking badass at the end of the 80's and in the early 90's...I just don't think that's a comparison you want, Joe.

At any rate, you're still walking that line, balanced perfectly. I'm loving it and can hardly wait for more. Here's a toast to you, buddy. Hope Yuengling hits the spot.

 

Eh, I don't mind it at all tbh. Go figure.

 

Am I the only one getting bored with this story?

I admit the writing is amazing, same with the action and whatnot, but you are messing up one massive issue. This thing is getting obscenely long and I am getting so bored reading it. Hell, all I have to do is skip half of a chapter, read a paragraph or two, then read the last ten or so paragraphs. That is the plot.

Also once again I don't give a lot of praise as it has already been said better and I agree... I just want the entire thing to stop feeling so drawn out and more of real plot action.

 

To the first question: Yep.

To the second comment: You may have a bit of a point, but I definitely am not bored with it.

 

Harry Potter and the Wastelands of Time by this_old_dance joe6991 M

You do not move through the universe, backwards or forwards to time travel. You move the universe around you, perception, in fact you wont notice anything at first, but soon you will see the difference.
Try it and post here if you have anything interesting happen to you.
_______________________________________
Website I designed for instant payday loans company.

 

What? I repeat so my post is long enough. What?

 

No, I have to admit I've taken to skimming new updates. Harry flirts with Fleur or Tonks, remembers how fucked up his life is, pulls off something amazing that no one can figure out how he did it, repeat.

^Quoted for truth.