To be fair he had a pack of girls following him in HPB. Before that he was a delusional child, and before that a cheater who entered himself into Triwizard Tournament.

 

And before that there was the insane Death Eater godfather after him and the Dementors to kill of the libido's. Not to mention the Heir of Slytherin in the second year.

...

Damn, JKR never gave him a chance to get with the fangirls, did she?

 

That's not true! Everyone loved him when he was eleven. ...Well, up until he helped to lose 150 points for Griffindor.

 

You guys argue too much. Just pretend Harry could get bitches, but doesn't because he's got a steady relationship with a hot redhead that he happens to have quite great sex with on a regular occasion. He's got no reason to give that up for a bitchy blonde who doesn't have anything going for her other than her secret ability to get any man she wants - in other words, not only is she a bitch, but she's a whore as well.

NOT TO MENTION that the girl he's been fucking regularly is sister to the guy the bitchy blonde has been fucking regularly. So, since he doesn't want to give that up, he'd tell Fleur to step off.

A few years after he graduates - after trying the Auror thing and hating it - he goes to work for Gringotts on Bill's recommendation. Fleur and Bill work there and Harry is Bill's understudy.

Harry and Bill travel to Egypt and when they get back Bill lets it slip to Fleur that inside a tomb Harry 1. found a mountain of gold... 2. had some magical thing happen and is super powerful... 3. found a dildo that makes it possible for him to wtfpwn the pussies of veelas. Whatever. Anyway, Fleur immediately gets this idea in her head that Harry is the man she needs, except he keeps telling her No, bitch, No and then running off to share his gold, magic and power dildo with Ginny.

Cue a Ginny kill off and Harry seduction.

 

I'd read it.

or

Everyone gets together to repair the damage done to the school from the final battle. Ginny is trying to slice apart the dead giants, (there were giants right? I forget. Too damn many fan fics.), because they are easier to move in pieces. She cuts one open and is buried underneath 400 pound of escaped rotting intestine.

Harry goes emo for about three or four minutes. They never hook back up. The Astronomy tower falls on Bill.

Fleur needs drastic comforting and tosses the power dildo to Hermione since Harry's there.

 

ChuckDaTruck, is that you? Anyway, go ahead and write it in the kill off, dude.

 

I'm just bumping the thread to mention that I posted a short, slightly smutty, HP/FD omake from the Dagger and Rose sequel. It's there if you want a quick fix, but the writing ain't anything special.

To preempt the natural follow-on question: The sequel's about half done, but it hasn't gone up on AFC yet for comment.

 

...Do I even want to know, Pers...

 

Spoiler

“Hush, my love,” she says, her fingers working the fasten for his trousers. "If you wish for us live, I must see your penis.”

 

It says something about my state of mind that I totally called this happening

Not super hilarious, but funny enough Pers. 3/5

 

I liked it, it had that little bit of lulz in it. Curiously, is this what we can expect from D&R's sequel? Seems like it had a little bit of a Jason Bourne feel to it, except his tag along is hot and not useless. Which is awesome. And if it isn't Jason Bourneish, then I think it would be sweet if you at least used a couple chapters worth of awesome nonstop action.

 

Interesting question. I'd say most of it has a similar feel to it as the first book (present tense, quick pacing, relatively spartan in use of filler scenes), but I have a few Bourne-esque segments as well. They mostly involve Sirius, who, unknown to Harry and Dumbledore, was smuggled out of the Ministry holding cells by the Unspeakables. (It's in the prologue, so I'm not giving too much away).

I've got the final showdown mapped out and am pretty excited about writing it. It won't be quite as epic as the finale Jim has planned for TML (which is Joe6991-esque on the scale of awesomeness), but I think it'll be a worthy ending.

 

Oh stop...

Omake was cool. Sharp bit of writing, buddy. Brief enough to give the humour an excellent, anticipated twist. Here's to plenty more!

 

Oh God, Pers, I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes.

Beautifully done.

Now this is the kind of pseudo smut I have no problem reading.

Over 9000 stars.

The title of your oneshot series did throw me off though, initially, until I realized it was just an 'anthology.'

 

I'm sure this story has been posted in here before but an update;

Title: Veela Various

Category: Harry Potter
Character(s): Hermione G. & Harry P.
Chapter 9 Title: Chapter 9
Words: 9,740
Genre(s): Romance/Humor
Rating: Rated: M
Summary: A few months after the final battle Fleur’s Veela magic choose
Harry as her mate. It doesn’t quite stop there though, as Hermione Granger
is about to find out. H/Hr/F, Harry/Hermione/Fleur Full/equal three way
relationship.

URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5025777/9/

 

-Facepalms-

Oh god, My brains....

Awesome in a very WTF sense.


Edit: Also, AAli's story is pretty much pure fluff... not bad fluff mind you, but there's really nothing else to it.

 

That was hilarious, Pers. If only Fleur would've done that during the Triwizard... Think the dragon would've went for it?

 

This is possibly the best news I have heard in a week or two.
Also, here is another H/F story of note, though it is slowly updated and not solely H/F. I am not completely sure if this was posted in pages past, but a refresher is never a bad thing.

Title: Black, Gray and White
Author: Intellectual Seeker
Pairing: Harry/Fleur/Tonks
Words: ~57k
Last Updated: 8 August 2009
Rating: M
Summary: 6th year AU - Harry disappears the night before the students leave for the summer holidays after 4th year and the tri-wizard tournament. 2 years later he's back, but a lot has changed.

http://www.hpfanficarchive.com/stories/viewstory.php?sid=292

Enjoy and good luck to you Perspicacity.

 

You revived this thread so that you could promote this?