Most humor stories I've read don't start with old people dying in a car accident. I think the reason behind that is that it's not so funny... unless the old guy is gay.

Okay, someone should write this.

Not.

 

Besides, if the Deluminator has no safeties (which seems unlikely in the extreme, since AD puts preservation of life above most morality,) why is Harry standing in the street?

 

Or hagrid is just pissed about the insult. To die defying Voldemort is slightly more glorious. might also be pissed about lieing to a kid about his parents death or some such tripe.

it be so.

His hand was destroyed when he touched the ring horcrux. Unless Fawkes posses prophetic abilities, he couldnt save DD from that. Fawkes appears Our Of Nowhere just in time to swallow an AK. Thats pretty serious protection buddy. Fawkes could just burn his feathery ass into the middle of the road and haul DD's wrinkly old backside 2m into the air.

Because it makes him feel smater?

Fawkes, apparition, portkeys, shield charms, conjuring walls, he could HEAR the car coming, EVEN DD can jump out of the fucking way...

I believe Cygnus Crux has an argument on this: if a wizard is sufficiently powerfull, his magic will protect him from death (accidental magic). Unless he really had no will to live.

he has a point.

Unrelated side note: Talking about Cygnus Crux. I have not detected Harry Potter's Existence After Life in the library list.

 

You didn't look too hard. It's in the trash bin with like 3 stars, 2 votes. And in the Library as well, for what it's worth.

It was quite an accomplishment for the time, considering the era in which it was written--posted first in March 2002.

 

I just checked the library list around Harry Potter's its one of the few sotries privileged enough to be in my favorites.

thanks, by the way. The list you linked includes status. It helps a lot, seeing as i refuse to read anything WIP. (since Jono turned out to be a mayor dissapointment)

 

Pretty good story judging by the first chapter, but I didn't like Harry being ostracized simply for accidentally using the Cruciatus on Ron. The Weasleys would shun him but certainly not the entire wizarding world. It's also kind of ridiculous the author has Harry's every single happy memory be about the Weasleys. Cygnus Crux is like pstibbons' competent counterpart, except with the Weasleys instead of Hermione.

 

that clears up later in the story. The cruciatus is not quite accidental; he is enraged at Ron for stopping him from torturing Malfoy, and uses a cruciatus on him. Harry is powerfull enough to kill Voldemort, and has been known to cast an Unforgiveable on his best friend. To the ignorants that populate wizarding britain, that just screams DARK. Thus, they shun him. In fact, the Weasleys shun him less than others; they understand the emotional duress he was under, but they have to apear to support Ron when he's around.

Canon Harry has remarkably few "happy memories" that do not, at least, include a Weasley.

Anyway, PB time.

Voldemort with amnesia. HP is in a sticky situation: the Order is dead, and the remainder of the Dark Lords followers are not going down without a fight.

Post Apocaliptic, featuring a quick takeover by the DE's now free of Voldemort's insane ruling, and guess; HP gets to solve thier mess.

i have actually started this story, but in between reading and studying, its not really advancing.

 

Christ, I wish I'd been reading posts yesterday, because this moron was fun to read and I'd have liked to bash him in real time. But alas, I'll have to settle for today instead.

Listen, Yoko, can we talk? You've littered the Plot Bunny thread with this anal seepage, and I've taken the bait to respond. Shame on me, but shame on you for being an idiot, and for breaking up the Beatles while I'm at it. You couldn't leave well enough alone and let John stay and play with the fellas could you?

Anyway, the Deluminator only worked for Ron after Harry and Hermione began using Ron's name again, which you conveniently left out of your thoroughly-researched informational text from the Lexicon. If it worked for anyone, anywhere, at any time, don't you think Dumbledore might've used it once or twice before he died? Perhaps he'd have used it to stop Sirius in Book Three when he thought Sirius was guilty, or in Book Four when Harry disappeared from the maze, or in Books Five or even Six to capture a few escaped Death Eaters and give Harry and Company a better chance of winning? Maybe the Deluminator wasn't enchanted to work that way before D'dore decided to give it to Ron, but nonetheless, when it's abilities are shown in DH, helping Ron return to Harry and Hermione, it works only after those two resume saying Ron's name.

Now, what do you suppose the chances are of little Harry, who has run away from the Dursleys, using the name of an old wizard he's never ever met or even heard of before? Fucking zero, perhaps?

Dumbass.

And no no a thousand times no, Dumbledore wouldn't Apparate into the middle of the fucking road; that's the kind of shit you might expect from Ron or even Harry, but not Dumbledore, for fuck's sake.

 

Its not a horrible idea just that every single part he bothered to mention was complete and utter fail. How about this. Dumbledore dies. He's quite old after all, just dies in his sleep. Harry, never knowing about this, runs away. Without Dumbledore around to fetch him back he gets away. Now we hop over the plot-hole that He should be easily findable by the book that lists all the children of Hogwarts age. Harry is lost and eventually forgotten, he grows up in the muggle world and by a quirk of fate he stumbles upon the magicla world as an adult.

Now we have the generic muggle Harry meets the wizarding world sans Dumbledore, still kind of boring but could be worked with.

 

Here's something I just came up with while avoiding my Physics lab, something that I've explored a bit in one of my older fics, and I'm curious about developing more.

Knockturn Alley is a visible presence in Diagon Alley, and while most of their 'goods' are legal, some are not. Someone needs to be involved in the transport of said 'goods' from elsewhere in the world to London - a rather complicated issue, given the lack of large-scale vehicular transport. Such issues require a considerable amount of money to resolve - a considerable amount of illegitmate money.

Now, Voldemort may or may not have had ties to illegal wizarding commerce (wouldn't be a bad idea, particularly if he needed a supply of cash of any sort - he wouldn't want to have to rely upon Malfoy), but the shadowy individuals who do covertly sponsor said trade likely preferred to keep their operations free of any Death Eater entanglements. After all, they're already operating on the wrong side of the law, and why would they want to attract any more attention? The question then arises: who would be responsible for funding such an illegal activity, and furthermore, who would have an interest in such commerce?

Enter Horace Slughorn, a man who does not hesitate to deal with the shady parts of Knockturn Alley in order to acquire rare or illegal potions ingredients or other magical paraphernalia. Enter Mundungus Fletcher, a known middleman in such trading. Enter Fred and George Weasley, who have been known to occasionally get involved in illegal trading to 'acquire' new substances for experimentation. Enter Ludo Bagman, a man forced to take shelter in the seedy underworld for fear of his goblin creditors, desperately trying to scrounge together money to repay his debts.

Put them all together, and you have the fragments of a wizarding criminal underworld, rife with piracy, smuggling, and dirty dealings. Even canon has given evidence that there might have been something lurking the shadows that wasn't the Death Eaters.

Now, enter sixth year. Horace Slughorn sees a ripe opportunity for recruitment when he encounters Harry Potter, a young man with influence and considerable amounts of gold. Harry, on the other hand, has been required by Dumbledore to get close to Slughorn and find not just the memory, but the suspected ties that the 'wizarding mob' has to the Death Eaters. After all, Dumbledore wants to hit the Death Eaters where it hurts - their wallets.

Put it all together with the right atmosphere and you could potentially come up with a very interesting Godfather-esque Harry, filled with sophistication, cold class, and mornings where Narcissa Malfoy wakes up to find a Hippogriff's head in her bed.

 

A very intriguing idea. I myself have a story on the back-burner that explorers the idea of wizarding underworld. My idea though had more to do with illegal duels fought in shady locations than with illegal commerce. Though the latter forms a part of the underworld.

My idea had been along the lines of Harry involving himself in the darker parts of the wizarding world to gain more information about Death Eater activities. In the process he gets himself embroiled with the underworld which functions separately from the Dark Lord, though there are a few ties. Mostly alliances to benefit the two parties.

I haven't really worked out the kinks in the plot. But I might get to this after I finish my current projects.

Anyways, I liked your idea. If you could tie in Voldemort properly with the idea of illegal wizarding commerce and handle both the dark factions properly then there is no doubt that it will be a very good story.

 

Crack-fic where Harry is caught cheating on Ginny in the public eye, and then tries to convince her that it was someone else under Polyjuice. After calling in a number of favors with the Auror department he plants evidence at Zacharias Smith's house (boomslang skin in a closet?), and then has them arrest Zacharias for impersonating an Auror. Zacharias goes to Azkaban screaming bloody murder and proclaiming his innocence. Finally Ginny is convinced and things settle down for a while.

One week later Colin Creevey photographs him eating sushi off of Su Li.

 

Harry has beaten Voldemort, but after the big letdown that was the Final Confrontation, Harry is still bloodthirsty. He who looks for trouble, finds it.

Thinking that this could be part of an underground fighting ring, where Auror Harry, after having nothing better in life, enters, expecting to be slaughtered. His survival instincts kick in, and he finds this to be one of the best experiences he has ever had. Of course he will return.

This is actually something I was thinking about writing, but I don't want to start writing something that has gaping plot holes. I decided to post it here first.

 

Well, after a late night of watching tivo'd Sliders re-runs and the latest SGU episode, I was struck by this particular bunny:

The Veil was created by the Atlanteans as their version of a stargate, but instead of other planets, it leads to other realities. The runes that cover the archway are similar in function to the chevrons on a stargate: when activated in a certain sequence, they open the door to other universes that the Atlanteans explored/colonized (with different sequences for different universes).

Enter Unspeakable Harry Potter, who discovers the true purpose of the Veil while researching said artifact. Unfortunately, on his first trip through the archway, he catches the attention of an extremely advanced magical civilization with powers unlike anything he's seen before. This civilization, a sort of "Dark Atlantis" has been expanding for thousands of years, using the Veils to conquer neighboring universes.

In order to keep them from finding his home universe, he leads them on a long, epic chase through the multiverse, encountering a few other interdimensional travellers along the way who team up with him to fight the Conquerers, including (but not limited to) a not-so-evil Tom Riddle, an evil alternate Harry, and a BoyWhoLived!Neville. The group travels from world to world, learning how to wield strange and deadly magics in the hopes of eventually defeating the Conquerers and saving their respective dimensions.

 

I can see it working if initially, the 'Dark Atlanteans' appear to be the white as milk. Harry could end up asking them for help to return to his own dimension, which I think he'd need to as the veil would most likely be in their control and they'd need his cooperation if they want to find his home dimension out of the infinite other probable dimensions.

Then, Harry eventually catches on to that not everything is kosher here and tries to break into the 'veil-room' to escape. Things happen, stuff gets blown up, and he decided he'd be better off taking a detour before going home. They still need harry to find his home dimension and as long as they are after him, he keeps running to new dimensions.

A whole lot of creative room to play here, and so many more holes to fall down in. Either way, it'd be a massive project and I doubt most of the authors with the talent to pull this off have the time at teh moment.

 

True. God knows I don't have the patience, or the talent to write something like that...

Just figured I'd toss it out there though. Who knows, maybe someone will pick it up and run with it someday.

 

Idea won't leave me alone.

Picture this: Harry's first encounter with Voldemort happens as planned- Riddle kicks the bucket, Harry gets his scar, and Sirius Black hands young Harry off to Remus A. Lupin.... The Third.



... wait, what!?

 

Let me guess, he stole the plot from you.

 

You might say that.

I hadn't really come up with much more beyond the concept- making it fit into some semblance of canon would probably be difficult work although ultimately rewarding. Such a fic could cover young Harry's childhood exploits, learning the game from his Uncle. You could even cameo official crossover characters, like Detective Conan, for an interesting byplay between young Harry and Conan.


Or, you could cover the intermediate period, in which Harry attends Hogwarts, between his time sneaking around, exploring, stealing for the sake of stealing, making his own thieving gang, and the like. Their first big heist could be the theft of the philosopher's stone, and the fic could cover Harry's previous experiences with Magic, his current learning, and all the ruckus-housing that goes on during it.