/me <3s My Immortal.

 

I'm laughing already.

 

This is just cruel. Heh.

 

Potter Law needs to be on here.

 

Lol poor Merlin

 

Poor bludgers, you mean. The length of Merlin's penis is uncountably infinite. Or so this wiki tells me.

 

My IP has been blocked, lol. Inverarity is online.

 

Tor time?
Also well done everyone. This is amazing.

Also block logs.

# 19:31, December 15, 2009 Inverarity (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.107.63.97 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (Inserting nonsense/gibberish into pages)
# 19:30, December 15, 2009 Inverarity (Talk | contribs) blocked 216.16.236.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (Inserting nonsense/gibberish into pages)
# 19:21, December 15, 2009 Inverarity (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 86.154.253.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (Inserting nonsense/gibberish into pages)
# 19:20, December 15, 2009 Inverarity (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.154.253.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (Inserting nonsense/gibberish into pages)

HOW LONG CAN THIS LIST GO?

 

Proxies are still viable, just verified this to any IP banned.

 

Dam he got rid of most the DLP page.

 

For people who will see this thread too late to see some of the articles created, here's a few highlights:

Hogwarts School

Daily Routines

Headmaster Albus Dumbledore's daily routine mainly consisted of spying on the children. When he was not doing this, he was constructing elaborate and life-threatening situations for the students to stumble into, from which he would save them. Afterwards, he would take advantage of their graditude. "Uncle Albus needs a bit of help too," he'd say with a wink, before lifting his robes. When Albus Dumbledore says that he's taught many of the people alive in wizarding Britain, he really means taught.



Spell Creation

Similar to the Muggle saying, "You've pulled that out of your ass.", when presented with a new and unbelievable fact, the wizarding world also has the saying "You've conjured that out of your ass." when presented with a new spell. However, unlike the Muggle saying, the wizarding saying is entirely literal. It is a well kept secret within the wizarding world's spell creation community that the source of new spells is a wizard's anus, from which he must pull new spells. The more fibre a wizard has eaten, the greater he will be at spell creation. Albus Dumbledore was said to eat bran flakes every day, and it is no coincidence that he was also the most powerful wizard in the world.

Wizard Sex

"Wizard Sex" is the term given to a form of sexual reproduction, unique in the animal world, performed by a sub-species of humans. This sub-species is the so-called "wizarding community".

Wizard Sex differs from regular sexual reproduction in several ways.



Firstly, a witch's vagina (hereafter referred to as a vajayjay) has teeth. Any wizard must therefore first attempt to tame his mate's vajayjay, or he is likely to experience a painful injury. This evolutionary defence mechanism has confused biologists for many decades, as it would appear to, if anything, make the spread of the species much slower. It is the reason why the wizarding community is small, despite having a selective advantage over regular humans. Many unexperienced wizards forget to tame the vajayjay, and as a result lose their reproductive capacity. The secret of taming a vajayjay is to punch it as hard as possible. This confuses it so it cannot bite. It has recently become a fashion among witches to decorate their lower teeth.



Secondly, a witch's vaginal lubrication (hereafter referred to as snatch gunk), while usually inert, will explode violently upon contact with semen. For this reason a wizard must be careful not to ejaculate inside his partner. The preferred method is to ejaculate in the witch's eye: the famous wizarding biologist Alfred Kinsey noted that coming in a witch's eye always makes her orgasm. If this is not possible, Kinsey notes that ejaculation onto the breasts or in the hair is a good alternative.



Finally, because wizards have the capability to magically expand their penises beyond natural size, witches' vajayjays have had to evolve to accommodate these sizes. If a Muggle attempts to have sex with a witch, and somehow gets past her vaginal teeth and explosive snatch gunk, he will be a most unsatisfying partner for the witch, as she will not even feel him. A witch's vajayjay has magical properties known colloquially as "wizard space". As trunks, tents and other magical devices can be expanded inside to be larger than on the outside, a witch's vajayjay has this property every time she becomes aroused. It is not clear what the limits of this expansion are. Some magical theoreticians have postulated that it is infinite in volume, and that whole universes are created when a witch is aroused. Gellert Grindelwald famously thought that this universe was inside a witch's vagina, which certainly explains a lot about Gellert Grindelwald.



The only known wizard to have had a penis too large for a witch's vajayjay is the Great Merlin. If a witch's vajayjay can expand to a countable infinity, Merlin's penis was uncountably infinitely long. So too was his pubic hair: this is the source of the phrase "Merlin's beard".



It has been noted that animagi can indeed reproduce. But only if the egg groups are compatible. For example, A sparrow animagi cannot reproduce with a tiger animagi, but can easily reproduce with a Pidgeotto Hawk animagi. If the female attempst to revert to her human biology, the foetus will grow aggitated and in most cases will abort. When such monstrosities do indeed survive to term they are ejected into the world, and abandoned by their wizarding parents. Most of these crimes against nature find homes on Portkey.org.



While there is much debate about the source of Voldemort's homicidal tendencies, several leading magical theorists have posited that his madness was caused by post-traumatic stress disorder, the source of which was his first contact with an unknown witch's vajayjay. After staring into the depths of infinity, lined with decorated teeth and untrimmed pubic hair, Voldemort was driven to madness, from which the only solace was in torturing small forest animals and molesting children (in a similar manner to the late Albus Dumbledore)


Arthur Ironcock is a legendary wizard who had no less than seven children. This would be quite an achievement for any wizarding male but what makes Arthur truly special is that he tamed the great "Vaginus Horriblis" of Moly Weasley. Many people claim that what Ironcock did was a perversion of nature and some suspect that he used dark magic, because all of his seven children were born with severe mental and physical handicaps. It is stated that he lost his "Mojo" during an encounter with the Dark lord Voldemort's living Horcrux Nagini. The snake's powerful fangs pierced his scrotum and rendered him sterile. Afterwards, he was heard saying "Better Nagini's than Molly's, if you ask me!"



Dark Lord Potter


DarkLordPotter.Net was created in 2005 when a strange, nordic Alien bought the domain. Some time later, a forum was born out of the darkness, and strange creatures began inhabiting it. Though the first two years were filled with internal strife and warfare, DLP emerged unscathed, perhaps even stronger. Most of the worthwhile stories you read come from this curious corner of the internet, a land where Harry can hook up with anything with female tits, especially himself, his mother, owl, supernatural beings, and even Hogwarts itself on a few occasions.



The site's membership, while predominantly asshole, has began suffering enjoying a recent influx of camwhores. Women, especially of the type known to enjoy being demeaned, raped, and beat up, flock to the site to get their daily dose of e-dicking. The particularly devoted members of this group come to IRC, where they are mercilessly insulted to orgasm. Irene Is Sluttzozrz lolololol. DLP is full of epic lulz, win,and awesome. Plus tits never forget tits



Perhaps the most famous author on DLP is , who is engaged to another member of DLP, Jon. Many DLP members are envious of Jon for this, and really wish they could tap that. But they never will. For is the greatest trap to ever live.
And Jon is a pussy whorez.



DLP's intro thread has been the result of much lulz and butthurt throught out the years. the most recent example being a young girl by the name of NYX MOON. also DLP's cybernations team is crap... just to let you know..........



DLP's other famous author is Nuhuh, who hasn't finished his Harry/Aizen epic slash story. So yeah

 

I restored the DLP page to it's former lack of lulz... Improve it.

 

You know rollbacks can delete all your edits in a second, right?

Just so you know, I didn't start this wiki, and I didn't write most of the articles (including for my own stories). Anyone is allowed to add articles, so the "contributions" range from encyclopedias by various authors (or their fans) to incoherent plot bunnies. Early on, I tried suggesting a bit of "quality control," but the folks who set up the wiki wanted it to be completely open, so, whatever.

Have fun, but I will have to undo all of it when you're done.

 

Cool story bro.

 

Thanks Inverarity. Nice to see you too.

 

This most recent episode of trolling - which I'm sure will land this thread in the Hall of Shame, btw - gives me an actual idea.

Amerison actually wrote a page on fem!Harry that's surprisingly well thought out and excellently written. If anything, it's a different public face that most people see from DLP.

Here's my thinking: instead of mindless, unintelligent trolling, why don't we post the 'truth' about DLP. Sure, there can be extraneous lulz here and there, but if set it up in the right way, we can give some of our stories the same sort of 'treatment' that Inverarity gave his fics. Hell, you could probably fill a wiki with a detailed backdrop of sagas like Shezza's or Joe's.

Just saying, it's an idea.

 

Hey now! Let's not get carried away. This trolling was far too funny to be mindless. Shit took effort, man.

 

Thanks, but someone went ahead and made it blatantly biased (towards me) in the end. I'm torn between blushing and being annoyed at the fact that it's now going to be deleted. :/