You expect people who can't string a sentence together properly to string a series of events into order? Man, you must have a higher opinion of the typical FanFic.net user than I do. :/

I would think that Harry mentioning Crouch in having been present when Riddle killed the muggle dude in the opening of GoF more of an issue than Lavender's gift, personally. >_>

 

...I seriously don't recall reading the Crouch thing. But I'd say the author took that from the movie.

 

It was in like... the first paragraph towards the end I think... And I wouldn't know. >_> I never watched it. Haven't seen a complete Potter movie since Prisoner. >_>

 

Crouch meeting Voldemort/Wormtail at the opening of GoF is from the movie. Which is unfortunate, as I rather dislike when people do that sort of thing.

As for the timeline, yeah, there are other spots than just the Ron/Lavender bit that make me wonder which year the thing is set in.

 

Updated through to chapter 15 which is almost the end of first year and at 28k words.

 

First time posting here, I figure I should post a reply to it as it is my story. I have been a member here for a few months, I haven't really read the forums other than the main library list.

I wouldn't throw the whole thing right out the window just yet. The main purpose of the soul bond is so she can share Harry's immortality from being 'the master of death', it doesn't really impact the romance at all. Then again, I only have 4 chapters posted out of the 7 I have. I couldn't think of a better way to do it besides giving her the other set of hallows, or making her into a vampire. On the plus hand, it did start the relationship, no matter how small. Just a heads up that I suck at writing romance, so it will be more of a passive thing.

The story itself has barely even started. I do realized that I haven't updated in a few months, but it is not abandoned. I just keep getting sidetracked with other writing (a finished HP/DG book 4 rewrite, and a start on the much better and more original sequel. Also vampire!HP/fBZ. In the works is zombie apocalypse fic, which i've never read one before so it should be different.) I am currently very big into vampire stories (Again), and I am almost half tempted to rewrite the story as a vampire!HP/RR. I suppose it would be too similar to the future of my other story then. Ohwell.

I do thank you for calling the story well written and well thought out. I guess I just don't think very highly of my own writing skills, plus I have no beta.

 

I've not read your story (it's on my list), but it seems there's plenty of ways to do the immortality thing without vampirism or Soul Bonds. For instance, would it work to let Rowena split her consciousness as a sort of proto-horcrux? (Heck, she might even have invented them). If anyone, she's clever enough to figure out how to do it without sundering her soul. An intriguing option is that she embeds a portion of her consciousness into her diadem, which is part of why she's so protective of it in canon. If it allows access (ala Sorting Hat) to a wearer's thoughts, it might explain how it can enhance the wearer so (she herself has essentially twice the processing power when she wears it).

There's just such baggage with Soul Bonds (and vampires, for that matter), so much horrid, cliché writing out there on the subjects, that if there's any way you can accomplish what you seek without employing those tropes, you're much better off.

It sounds like some here think your story has promise. Perhaps you might consider kicking it into the Work By Author section for some community feedback?

 

Yeah, go for originality imo, make something up. As long as its not stupid and overpowered, it really can't be all that much worse than Soul Bonds. Haven't read it yet either, will if it gets good recognition down the track however.

 

If anybody is capable of devising some anterior method of immortality, I'd say Rowena Ravenclaw is high on the list. Don't you think?

I mean, she's supposed to be one of the cleverest witches (or magical people in general) to ever exist, and quite powerful too boot. As long as it's not completely absurd, you could likely come up with just about anything that you wanted. She could even, conceivably, create a Philosopher's Stone.

Or, if you must have a soul bond, then perhaps some sort of spell work later on in life after the two have fallen in love where she somehow bonds herself to Harry. Or something, whatever.

 

I closed that story as soon as the author listed the persons that their characters looked like. Why people feel the need to do that is beyond me.

@ Lord Anarchy: I agree with Perspicacity. Try post some of your work in the WbA, or at least try to run the plot at the plot bunny thread/IRC. We will belittle you and call you names but still give you some help along the way.

 

Yeah, as soon as I saw his McGonagall was to be played by Catherine Bell of all people, I could go no further. Yes, CB is hot - and has a righteous set of funbags - but it should be a Potter Law that anyone who ever appeared on a show as badly acted and even-more-badly written as JAG can never appear in HP anything. Ever.

Nice. Can someone Photoshop a Hitler mustache onto Oz's face, please?

That might be the biggest understatement of the day.

That actually sounds pretty great - a super-computer Sorting Hat. Although to be fair, you'd have to weigh the pros of an uber-brain against the cons of looking like a nancy-boy for wearing a tiara... Then again, after the first few hecklers were cursed into goo, there would likely be a sharp decline in the number of snide "Princess" comments, etc.

 

What?! JAG was poorly acted? Lies. Granted, the only episodes I've seen were dubbed in German (I think) when I don't speak any German, but I'm sure it lost nothing in the translation.

As for That Boy is Trouble, it's...kind of funny. The premise is utterly ridiculous and paper thin. That said, beyond the initial joke I doubt you can take the story anywhere. With AJT adding in scenes of Ron driving a pimped out car to pick up women the story has jumped the shark two chapters in.

 

No joke Oz. You and SCD sound like Ray D'arcy and Dylan Moran. Tell Sam I want his voice. D:

 

Your name is Jack?

 

Yup. Did the Ankh-Morpork part give it away?

Just finished re-reading Night Watch today (after going through the previous four City Watch books in about a week) and decided I liked the oath while I was half way through. Thus, sigged. Tell you what though, it took ages to transcribe it onto the laptop I was using, especially since I tried doing it as it would be written on the form first.

 

Good, now I know I'm special. 8D

 

This story is roughly 3/5 material so far. It does nothing to blow your mind but is highly readable. I don't recall significant grammar or spelling issues. The point of divergence is that Dumbledore paid the Dursleys to take care of Harry, resulting in a Harry that while not loved by the Dursleys, is treated more or less respectably. While the Harry/Daphne interaction is kind of interesting (thankfully they're not falling head over heels for one another), the highlight to me is the Dumbledore and Harry meetings. For whatever reason, Dumbledore is a lot more transparent than he was in canon so it'll be interesting to see how he reacts later on. As of posting, the story is at the start of the 3rd year for Harry.