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WIP On the Way to Greatness - By Mira Mirth - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by ChuckDaTruck, Mar 31, 2009.

  1. Anme

    Anme Professor

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    A great update. This is one of the best stories out there. 5/5
     
  2. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Yet another good chapter. I really like how this story is playing out.
     
  3. Torak

    Torak Death Eater

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    Awesome chapter is :awesome
     
  4. Jeram

    Jeram Elder of Zion ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    As usual, great stuff.
     
  5. Klackerz

    Klackerz Bridgeburner

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    Wow Superb chapter and story.

    The chapter is totally great.

    The story is totally improving as the years are continuing.

    5/5 from me
     
  6. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    FUCK! I've got to go to class now, and won't have a chance to read it until later tonight. (;_;)
     
  7. Luda

    Luda Seventh Year

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    This.

    As the years progress, the more awesome the story has become. Also the latest duel was quite realistic in terms of what Harry's abilities are at this point in time.

    5/5
     
  8. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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  9. Bittersweet

    Bittersweet Groundskeeper

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    It's a real pity the author takes so long between his/her updates, being able to follow this story without having to reread chapters would make it so much better than it already is.

    4.5/5 (0.5 deducted for the update time)
     
  10. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Maybe I'm missing something, I read it pretty fast, but I found it strange that they chose presumably untested Mindfuck Mints (which are awesome, I agree) to create a distraction when they needed to be able to control an already delicate situation. It looks less like a prepared disruption than if they had the twins blow up a shitload of fireworks like in canon, but obviously it's very unpredictable to give hallucinogens to someone who can do magic. And then the actual magic she's displaying is crazy. So I hope the whole thing will be cleared up, because right now it feels a lot like a convenient plot device.

    I honestly don't know what duel you're talking about, but then I seem to be missing stuff.

    Writing and the characterization are still excellent (the psychology of how students and the Order perceive Harry stands out), but I don't think I liked this as much as previous chapters.
     
  11. Seitou

    Seitou Third Year

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    ^
    You must have missed the part where the twins started to become almost homicidal with Umbridge, they were more interestied in hurting her then following the plan.
     
  12. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    I'm not questioning the the twins' judgement, I'm questioning Harry's. He approved this plan, and apparently thought it was a good idea, but for something that was supposed to be delicate, it's not prepared very thouroughly.

    For this to work they need to have a good timing, and be able to predict Umbridge's actions to a certain extent.
     
  13. fuubar

    fuubar Headmaster

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    Yes, and what Harry had wanted them to do would have been fine. But the twins were not listening to Harry really and were doing whatever they damn well pleased which is what caused this situation as they were more interested in causing harm than actually accomplishing the plan.
     
  14. afrojack

    afrojack Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Which is why Harry can't delegate the way his firends want him too. They act like they could help him, but really, compared to Harry, they are far too incompetent, both magically and mentally, to really be of help. I'm sure it will be a dilemma that plays a larger role in the future.
     
  15. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    No, not as far as we know; they seem to have done what they were supposed to. Harry says he approved the Mindfuck Mints, knowing they had serious psychedelic effects. We'll probably learn why Umbridge went mad to that extent, but right now don't have a particular reason to think the Weasleys did anything that wasn't planned. It's probably someone sent Umbridge to bother Harry though, so maybe they tampered otherwise as well.
     
  16. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I really wish Harry would say almost exactly this to the Twins and maybe some others. Maybe it would hit home with them.
     
  17. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Updated! Spoilers in my review.

    I had to re-read the last chapter to remember where the story was at though.

    Harry had a bit of an attitude in this one I didn't like all that much -- he's been bitching about being involved and clued in all the time, but now he wants to back out of something because it might be dangerous. Granted he gets over it somewhat, and he's not the same Harry from canon, but still. At least he has a bit of sense about getting out of danger when he's over his head if he doesn't have a good reason to stay.

    Anyone remember what kind of magic Harry did that apparently has Fawkes all pissy? Or is that a more general thing with Harry just learning some violent spells? Granted by the end of the chapter he's tossing out Unforgivables, so eh.

    Still one of my favorite stories to follow at the moment, though I do hope that the next update is sooner than the last.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2010
  18. ParseltonguePhoenix

    ParseltonguePhoenix Unspeakable

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    Very nice, as usual. I actually liked that Harry was put in a position to have to choose. Meaning that he didn't get to stick with his Slytherin tendencies of 'wait and see'.

    What's mira's fascination with past participles, though? Several times the had whatever's are used when they clearly shouldn't have been. It wasn't a huge problem, really, but it made reading through dialogue pretty awkward this go-round.
     
  19. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    I'd say it was the Killing Curse he used during the battle in the Graveyard, if there is only one instance and not the rather extensive knowledge of curses we usually only see from Death Eaters that did it over time. It works for me.

    I also had to glance back at the last chapter a bit to remember what had happened, but it came back pretty quickly. Thoroughly enjoyable new chapter.

    Question for mira mirth. That seemed like the climatic end of the year event to me, though, if I recall correctly, there's still quite a bit of time before the end of the school year. Given the story so far, I figured we'd have had five chapters here. Does this mean you finished quicker than expected (in terms of words) or is there another chapter to come for this year alone?
     
  20. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    Mira doesn't post here, but I have discussed the issue with her. Apparently, there's still a ton of fallout that she couldn't cram into last chapter, as well as a great deal of vital information that needs to be given before year's end.
     
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