Title: Greenery
Author: Cyborg0
Rating: T
Crossover: Avatar (the James Cameron movie, not The Last Airbender)
Status: WIP, 30k words
Pairing: Unknown, maybe Harry/Na'vi
Summary: Harry Potter has nothing left but to contemplate the emptiness of his universe. Standing over the corpse of his defeated foe he realizes that he has lost already. But something changes, and he discovers there may be more to the universe than he dares hope.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5766190/1/Greenery

Typical crossover set-up, interesting because it's Avatar. Stylistically, it's competently written, and has a decent pace in advancing the plot. There are a few niggling unlikely fortunate events that go in Harry's favour to advance the plot, but I would rather this than have chapter upon chapter of nothing happening.

Were it a crossover with anything else, it would be a decent but unremarkable effort. As it's the first of its kind, I find it interesting. 4/5

 

Well, it had to happen eventually.

 

The entire premise of this bugs me. Technology is somehow inherently evil. And the only power source in the universe is this special material? Come on. Did we suddenly forget modern technology. With another hundred years of development I'm completely positive that the premise that Avatar is based on would never come to pass. Oh, we can clone meet but we can't clone actual animals or plants to recreate a green environment? Yeah, like that's believable. Couldn't we just terraform a planet, or artifically create a green planet and move things that way? Reduce population density and rely more on traditional fusion + things like solar and geothermal? There are other ways.

Oh, and WTF all of this Harry's fault? and he just accepts that? Fuck off.

Aside from that, I very heavily dislike the romantic notion that nature is somehow totally awesome and beats technology at everything. Technology is about balance too. It can create as well as destroy. In this its portrayed as nothing more than destruction.

 

Yep. Agree with Vir.

Its apparently Harry's fault Voldemort is dead and the earth's balance, supposedly maintained by Voldemort's killing spree, was destroyed. Its Harry's fault wizards chose to hide themselves away from muggles and kept their great wisdom to themselves, thus dooming muggles to flounder in the dark fooling around with technology destroying earth. All Harry's fault. And of course, Harry counters with the bland argument - 'Voldemort is evil' and after that immediately agrees that the blame is all his and runs away filled with horror. BS.

Rest of it was well-written though. I'll still give it 4/5 - the grammar is good and the fic is the first of its kind I've read. I'm hoping that the author'll give the fic a good ending with a good villain.

 

The entire blaming thing doesn't bother me. Frankly, that seems to line up with cannon more or less. Pussy Harry always accepting things as they come along.

The thing that bugs me is, as Vir said, the negative attitude towards technology.

The great thing about this fic, would have to be the wonder that magic should be invoking in the Na'ir. Unfortunately there's not much of that happening, it's as if both are entirely blase' towards everything unexpected that happens.

Besides that, it's an interesting read. Entering new territory and all that, I'll keep on reading it simply because of that.

Oh yeah, brownie points for using some of the Avatar Language.

4.5/5

 

For some reason, when I saw the title, I just assumed that this was a story about a grocery store.

 

I've been following this for a while (probably since it was started). I think it's alright, but I definitely agree with everything Vir said about nature/technology. Still, I'm willing to accept the premise and see where the story goes. Like Taure, I think its novelty bumps what might normally be a 3/5 up to a 4/5.

 

Oh, they've been around since a little over a week after the movie's release.

And, of course, half the stories are slash.

What, no Daphne Greengrass? And her well-trimmed bush...es. :awesome

 

I just read the prologue... not really impressed. The language feels forced, and the author used the same phrase "throne of ash" to end two paragraphs, one right after the other. I guess he liked the imagery, but that kind of thing strikes me as lazy writing and is one thing I really have trouble ignoring.

Not to mention the shocked stoicism in the first sentence. Those seem like two words that you wouldn't want to put together.

 

Voldemort would fall over if he sat on a throne of ashes.

I'll give it maybe a 2/5 or 3/5.

 

Don't feel any tension at all. The meeting was boring. The chapters are too short. Too much Hogwarts explanation, and not enough actual plot.

 

A couple of interesting elements in the story - but I rather disliked the way the author introduced Harry into the Avatar Universe.

A floo accident out of Voldemort's body which takes Harry on another planet and it just happens to take 180 years in the future? Way too convenient, and far-fetched.

Otherwise, it's alright. 2.5/5 for me.

 

I kinda liked the corpse-floo. Original and it made me laugh.

 

The throne of ashes part made me lol...

Failed imagery check.

Though eh I don't think Pandora crossovers will ever work, since the whole setting seems strange. Advanced technology can't really be beaten by arrows and such.

I'd give it a 2/5.

 

So yeah...there's a lot of things iffy with this story for sure. No need to explain that any more.

I got to chapter 4 and realized this was written by a hardcore environmentalist. :awesome

Once I got past that realization, I could ignore the tree-hugging and the author getting a stiffy for a woody and concentrate on the actual story. A story which is pretty well written; little to no grammar/spelling mistakes, novelty abound and a pretty sound plot.

The one single thing that bugged me was the speed at which Harry discovered his inner pussy...cat.

4/5

 

Yeah, I think the annihilation of the Native Americans and the Mayan civilisation tend to highlight the problem of guns vs. primitive weapons. By all rights the corporation should have just burned the trees to the ground (ala Vietnam) and continued on mining the stuff they wanted. Genocide is an undoubtedly effective method of defending yourself.

 

The correct term is mesoamerican. This includes the Aztec, Inca, and Mayan civilization as well as a whole host of others. But you have to keep in mind that it wasn't just the guns that killed off these civilizations, it was also small pox.

 

Deus ex Cameron kinda put the kabosh on that though, what with the leave the natives alone thing going on.

But Im derailing.

I didnt like it. It was well written, and the grammar was decent enough, but everything seemed flat and rushed. Also, I felt that there was a bit too much, "Hand Harry what he needs, when he needs it," going on.

2/5

 

LOL, I must be a Jedi, because I just heard what sounded like millions of voices crying out at once "Good enough for me!" :awesome