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Abandoned Control by Anonymous58 - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Andro, Apr 13, 2010.

  1. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Seriously. Why do people insist on signing their posts?
     
  2. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    It's a slight idiosyncrasy; I do it on all the forums I post on. Why does it bother you?
     
  3. Oz

    Oz For Zombie. Moderator DLP Supporter

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    In case they're brutally murdered, so a close friend unwilling to buy the lies fed to them by the Police can follow the clues they leave in their posts and track down the killer. They fight crime!
     
  4. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    Oddly enough, it seems that I don't do it when consciously thinking about it... wierd.
     
  5. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    Did I hear Harry/Fem!Harry?

    [​IMG]


    fapfapfapfap

    On the story: It's pretty interesting. Stylistically I give it a 3/5, but plotwise it's pretty interesting. There's alot of descriptions I find cliche, but some parts are so refreshing it makes up for it.

    Too early to rate overall.
     
  6. Libye

    Libye Squib

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    I agree mostly but Harry is capable of a full Patronus at the age of thirteen. I think the killing curse is the opposite from the Patronus and he hates the Dursleys clearly enough. The killing and the dark curses are a bit extreme though but I can overlook it.


    Harry's supposed to be the icon of the light. I can imagine the shock that Dumbledore must feel when Harry suddenly throw dark curses at him. I mean, he had to be really misjudged the boys character.
     
  7. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    Yes he did, after many weeks of one-on-one tutelage with a fully qualified wizard with years of experience with the spell.

    Avada Kedavra is on a while new level than the Patronus. Faux-Moody said in Harry's 4th year that everyone in the room could cast the spell at him and the most he would get is a nosebleed. Unless someone sat Harry down during the school year and taught him the spell, giving tips and advice on casting and he was able to practice it continuously, then perhaps I could overlook it. To just be able to cast it on the off first in the Chamber of Secrets and then again during his summer is too far a stretch.

    As I've said, I am critical to a larger degree when I can see that the author is clearly capable of writing and thus shouldn't make these kind of mistakes. Why use Avada Kedavra when apparently Dark-Arts curses which can freeze the internal organs of a 1000 year old, 60ft magical being are seemingly easier to cast? I have fewer bones to pick with the Dark curses than I do with Avada Kedavra usage; there is a reason that they are outlawed, and perhaps their ability to do great damage with little instruction/power are the reason.


    This is an AU, Harry is not a disillusioned Gryffindor but the fanon epitome of a Slytherin; sarcastic, cruel, intelligent and very much evil. I cannot see how the mightiest example of a wizard we have from canon could miss such elementary character traits from a boy linked with the prophecy, though Neville seems to be the BWL. Unless the author has dramatically changed canon to an extent where Dumbledore is actually a blind buffoon I can safely say that it is weak characterisation thrown in to let Harry up his kill total to two Aurors. Killing one is not enough for a Harry of such badassery.

    Dark-Stallion.
     
  8. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Wrong.

    Patronus, just like the Unforgivables, seems to be a simple point and click, cause and effect spell. The only thing a wizard needs to use them is the incantation and the proper mental state. For Patronus an extremely happy memory, and for the Unforgivables - or at least AK and Crucio - an extreme level of hate.

    It's why Harry is able to cast Crucio properly after only a tip from Bellatrix, and Imperio on his first attempt. Where were his months of instruction then?
     
  9. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    He didn't get the Cruciatus correct on his first attempt; Bella said as much ('You have to mean it, Harry'). Nor did he get the Patronus correct on his first attempt. His miraculous use of the Imperious curse is a plot-hole.

    Harry is built up as someone with little to no control over his mind/emotions (JKR said so when se explained why Draco could master Occlumency and Harry couldn't), and so for him to be able to have such control over another's mind/emotions is laughable. Canon Harry shouldn't be able to use the Imperious curse ever, never mind on his first attempt (again this would explain why Draco was able to use it on Rosmerta etc). In any sense, Harry stated after he used it that it probably wasn't a very strong one; luckily enough for the plot Bogrod must have little to no willpower whatsoever.

    I'm sticking with my guns here, to think that to successfully cast the Unforgivables is a simple point-hate-click combination is laughable; much the same as turning a matchstick into a needle isn't a simple matter of point-imagine-click, it takes practise. Even if it were, the reasons Harry hates Dumbledore enough to kill him are moronic. It's all a weak plot device to give Harry a kill streak, and that's why it annoys me so much. The author could do better.

    Dark-Stallion.
     
  10. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    Though all in all, it's still questionable if simple intent to actually kill is enough to be able to cast a proper Avada Kedavra, but it's always seemed that way.

    Other high-powered spells:
    -Patronus: Intent/Frame of mind
    -Crucio: Definitely Intent
    -Imperio: Intent, but probably more willpower than skill
    -Legillimens: Now this one is more skill and willpower than intent, so I'm a little iffy on his super abilities with it. Guess with enough drive he'd be able to do it and he did practice it on Ginny, so he's not a complete novice.

    Of those four, none require anything more than 'ready, aim, fire'. No excessive wand movements, no long-winded incantations in some long forgotten language, etc...

    Hey Stallion, you weren't thinking consciously again, huh?
     
  11. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    As I've already said, I disagree with the point-think-shoot theory. Again, read my transfiguration analogy. That is all based on intent, yet how long did it take for Harry to first change a match-stick into a needle? Or any other intent based transfiguration; it's a rare thing when someone gets it in one go.

    I think you are drastically over-simplifying intent based magic, as you so called it. It requires practice and a familiarity with the spell; otherwise people would fucking walk around casting the Patronus charm, Fiendfyre and other such spells on a whim. They don't, because the 'intent', the ability to concentrate on a specific and integral part is difficult and requires practice/tutelage.

    I've decided to sign off all the time now; fuck the haters.

    Dark-Stallion.
     
  12. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    I think your reasoning is flawed on Harry and the Imperius. Harry was never able to master Occlumency until near the end of DH because he couldn't close his mind, but he was able to resist the Imperius Curse from his first experience with it, and able to throw it off completely within a single class period. Clearly, from everything we see about Harry Potter throughout the seven canon books, he has willpower aplenty, and in my opinion, the Imperius involves the caster exerting his/her will over that of the victim - nothing at all to do with an organized, ordered mind. In that regard (willpower), Harry ought to be able to cast the Imperius on just about anyone.
     
  13. Sesc

    Sesc Slytherin at Heart Moderator

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    You mean, like reading about a curse called Sectumsempra, and then failing to shred Draco with it on the first try?

    Oh wait.


    Anyway, Harry returning back to Hogwarts ... meh. Usually that doesn't turn out well, but then usually this kind of story doesn't turn out well and this is the exception. So I'm hoping -- he might pick up where Harry in JackOfDiamond's The Hero's Path left off?

    /wants
     
  14. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    Sectumsempra isn't, as far as I'm aware, intent based (Harry had no idea what it did, so logically couldn't intend to slice Draco up, right?). Go ahead and stick that under point-shoot if you want, I just won't accept that the Unforgivables belong there. You're now just arguing semantics; you can list me examples of spells correctly cast on their first attempt, but exceptions don't disproves rules, especially when they aren't even from the same branch of magic. I find a perfect casting of Avada Kedavra on his first attempt after 2 years of schooling to be rediculous.

    Perhaps you're correct, and I'm branching the Imperious curse more with the mind-magics than I should be. I still find it hard to believe that something so complex can be achieved perfectly on the first try, however.

    Obviously I am not doubting that you can point your wand and say the words and something would happen (faint mist, some pain but not a true Cruciatus etc), but we see that to truly be able to use spells of such complexity require practice. Hence why Harry admits his attempt at the Imperious was weak, obviously he would be able to produce a stronger one with practice; plot-device was that Bogrod was obviously weak willed. Also why people become more adept at certain spells than others, through usage; I'd imagine both Bella and Lucius are able to cast the Cruciatus, but Bella's would be more potent.

    Dark-Stallion.
     
  15. Seratin

    Seratin Proudmander –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Cool story, bro. Trying to point out flaws to other readers is pretty much useless as if someone likes the fic they'll argue in its favour until the entire thread has devolved into two guys arguing.

    signin'mahpostlikedouche.
     
  16. Dark-Stallion

    Dark-Stallion Professor

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    Sorry, I thought this was an internet forum. You know, the place where you post opinions? I'm just posting mine, while enjoying debating the opinions of others. I can't see how debating the technical practice of magic shown in this particular fanfic are off topic in any way.

    Signing my post because I find it funny that such a trivial thing annoys you, Dark-Stallion.
     
  17. Scrib

    Scrib The Chosen One

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    Maybe it's annoying because there's already a mechanism for people to identify you.
    Which makes it fucking stupid and unneccesary.Also it makes you seem like a douchebag who likes the sight of his name so much he needs to keep fucking retyping it.

    Also everyone who signs their post seems to be an ass, some were before your ( and my) time bit that's what the hall of shame's for. You need to go see who exactly you're emulating.

    As for the story, a good Bellatrix is win in my book, but I want to hold off my rating to make sure it doesn't get retarded.

    Sorry for typos, my fucking iTouch keyboard is acting up

    EDIT: Isn't my face red, I have no idea what the fuck happened there, sorry.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2010
  18. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    His post-signing is becoming less annoying, relatively speaking.
     
  19. Juggler

    Juggler Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    ...

    Hey, Mr. authorguy. Sign up and post stuff in Work by Author. You know you want to, and I want you to, so you might as well do it.
     
  20. Sin Saiori

    Sin Saiori Death Eater

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    Already there, man.

    Stallion, you're thinking too much and too hard. Put on some good music, turn your brain off down to lower cognitive functions, then read the story again. Hey, who knows, once you stop trying to apply logic to JKR magic, you might actually like what you read.

    As far as I care, anything is possible, and Deathly Hallows never actually happened. Maybe this story will turn out reading like Ocarina of Time where Dumbledore occasionally shouts out "Hey, listen!" and Harry never makes a sound except to grunt and nod along with things. Maybe Tonks will go on a rampage and start eating aliens.

    The less logic I use when reading fanfics, the more fun I have. Chill, bro.