New chapter was a bit meh. Rage is expected....Tonks saying 'ya' every few words made me want to shove a tire iron up the author's ass. Nice touch with the wand though. Same core as that of the elder wand.

On another note, magic is emotion based in canon. Not just dark magic either. Emotions are shown to make magic more powerful and somewhat uncontrolled in some instances. We really shouldn't be getting into this debate on here, but I would ask that some of you remember some of the most difficult/effective pieces of magic in canon are highly emotionally charged pieces of magic.

 

Great dark harry story. I really like how mean and impulsive he is being right now, because that's like the epitome of darkness taking over a person, the anger and the hate fueling their magic and their spells. So far so good and the Kreacher scene where his head gets cut off is shocking, but also in character too because Harry doesn't have any mercy for those he doesn't care about like Bella and Tonks. What I think is a little mentioned by most reviewers is how casual he is being with Sirius's will, like it doesn't matter to him. Why is that though? I get he's an angry boy and such, but if somebody left him a big pile of money I sure as hell would read the will if I were in his place, if not out of respect then out of a need to get more information, you know to see if the money that he's getting doesn't come with some secrets hidden in the closet.

At the very least to see if Sirius wasn't banging his mother on the side...

 

Can you think of a better way to get under Weasleys' skin than calling Hermione a mudblood? For me, it was a perfect example of his control. They were illegally staying at his house, he couldn't do anything about it, so he settled for the next best thing: making it as unbearable for them as possible.

 

What the author also neglects to show is Harry's background - the fact that he's a Slytherin. It's only mentioned once.

The whole chapter makes a whole lot more sense (though still not much in my opinion) when you realize Harry isn't at all friends with Ron, Neville, Hermione, etc.

Also, if Neville is the boy who live.... why is there a prophecy regarding Harry? Is it about Harry at all? Why does Dumbledore care?

 

Definitely got the impression he doubted himself. If the worst should happen and it turns out Harry is the chosen one, he'd probably rather have him within arm's reach than in Azkaban.

That'll be one mistake he'll learn to regret, I hope.

 

I'd rather the author makes light of the situation where Harry is in Slytherin. Too many times I read "I'm Harry, and I'm in Slytherin, not Gryffindor!". Harry wouldn't do that. In-story, it's not an alteration, but just something that is noticed as a changing point.

 

He did in the very first chapter...

 

Most fanfics have this horrible tendency to develop a character one way, and then it stops. Classic example being transition from Canon!Harry to author'sinterpretation!Harry.

Here we have him starting as an emotionally distant wreck who keeps his business to himself. Studied for most of his two years and made very few friends. He snaps, kills some people and spends a year in Azkaban getting to know a rather fuck-up lady. He takes things from her and grows as a character.

From the author's own statement, it's a shame Harry didn't heed Bella's advice. That seems like a hint that this character will continue to learn and grow. (See what I'm showing.) He's not going to be the bad-ass character we want to read about in the first fucking chapter.

Stories are journeys with the us following the characters. They'll grow, change, and become what we want, then change more. That's what makes this a great fic, because Harry's fucking up left and right and growing.

No instant gratification.

I'll mention the Stranger Trilogy and how long it took the author to have Harry become what we like.(Ignoring the second installment.) The character started out as a douche-bag but grew as the story progressed.

Give the author a little credit and time to see if he can pull it off. He can write damn well and as turned cliches into things I can stomach. Every fanfic I read that had Sirius' will give him the Lordship I've dropped, nonjon's being the notable exception. If he can make that readable, though straining, I think he can get this right.

Though, one doubt is plaguing me. It almost feels like he's making it up as he goes along, with just a rough plot worked out.

 

Fucking this.

I broke my nose facepalming at the "Will to shatter stars" thing.

 

And you wonder why he was virtually friendless for his entire stay at Hogwarts? Simply put, he's a bit of a dickhead with severe mental problems, but that isn't stopping me from enjoying the fic or rooting for him to win.

Best part so far has to be the way he secured his freedom within Azkaban. That was pretty awesome.

 

This story needs to die in a fire eldritch and ebon flames of darkness, teeming with barely concealed fury.

 

I agree with the earlier posts. The use of "mudblood" doesn't make much sense, except in his association with Bellatrix. I can easily see why he'd hate muggles. But with Tonks and his mom both being muggleborn, it seems excessive. There are plenty of good reasons for him to rage at the Gryffindors and Order members being in his house, without resulting to those slurs. Plus, it was the pureblood dominated Ministry that sentenced him and their customs that delivered him to the dementors.

I would also like to see some explanation of why Harry dislikes Dumbledore so much. I'm sure it will be addressed at some point. Just saying.

 

Purity of blood had nothing to do with his sentencing.

He was guilty. He got punished. Simple as that.

And when proven innocent he was let out. Seems to me like purity of Ministry Employees is an irrelevant factoid, not worth the weight of his motivations for calling Hermione mudblood.

In fact, Bellatrix promoted certain changes to Harry's character. Exposed to madness in isolation proved to be contagious to Harry and traits that would never have been accepted in his behavior seems to be integral, solid, rooted in his personality.

Why wouldn't Harry dislike Dumbledore - he's after all responsible for the deaths of the Dursleys, for sending him back to an abusive environment.

 

Granted, Bella influenced him. But, enough to overcome his love/admiration for his mother or Tonks? I think not.

Dumbledore- I don't see how that follows. I'll go back and read it to make sure, but this Harry is not the BWL. Harry is sent to the Durselys because they are his family. If he is to be removed from their care, then I think the Ministry is to blame, as much or more than Dumbles.

 

Yeah from the first chapter Harry thought of her as a mudblood so yeah. Also Tonk is a halfblood so argument finished.

 

I'm not saying that Harry isn't a mudblood hater in this fic, just that it doesn't make any sense, or isn't properly explained. Yet. And...yes, Tonks is a half-blood, so she is only the spawn of a filthy mudblood, not one herself. So, yeah, it's obvious that anyone who hates muggle born is completely indifferent to half-bloods and half-bloods typically hate their sainted muggle mothers.

I just want the author to do some backstory to explain how Harry became a homicidal prick. That, to me, is just as interesting as the blood and mayhem of a DLP.

 

Let's think, he's been abused by muggles, got sorted into Slytherin (the pureblood house), he's a loner, he's been sent to Azkaban, he befriended Bellatrix Lestrange, and when he finally gets out, he finds what amount to squatters living in his home. Gee, I wonder why he's such a dick to them, I really do.

 

Maybe that's just how Harry shows affection.

 

Gah! It was pointed out earlier that he used the word "mudblood" before Azkaban. Already addressed that Bella had influenced him. I get that. Canon Harry was abused by muggles too, without hating muggleborn. AGAIN, I'm not saying Harry has no reason to be prejudiced, I'm saying that the author should show us and not tell us, the reasons why. Go back into Harry's past and give some detail.